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[INTJ] INTJ psycho-analysing potential mates

Frank

New member
Joined
Mar 13, 2008
Messages
689
I have found that instead of over analayzing my enfp it is much more beneficial to both of us to learn to adapt and find common ground. I am forced to constantly grow by adapting to her "randomness" while still holding strong to my plans. Although she is not as hell bent on personal growth as I she also seems to flourish under these circumstances. I think if both sides practice tolerance this is a beneficial combination for all.
 

Cality

New member
Joined
Mar 2, 2008
Messages
208
MBTI Type
ENFP
I have found that instead of over analayzing my enfp it is much more beneficial to both of us to learn to adapt and find common ground. I am forced to constantly grow by adapting to her "randomness" while still holding strong to my plans. Although she is not as hell bent on personal growth as I she also seems to flourish under these circumstances. I think if both sides practice tolerance this is a beneficial combination for all.

My 2 favorite words : random and randomness....
But it can be draining for a J type. My former ENTJ boyfriend wanted me to stick to my word and my plan (whereas plans for me are done to be undone). And as for him, I was feeling like he had no flexibility and was not ready to jump into new opportunities as they came... I think, we manage to come to a common ground there (unlike to some other points)
 

Cality

New member
Joined
Mar 2, 2008
Messages
208
MBTI Type
ENFP
I have some idea, but I like to live on the edge. Life is boring without a certain amount of risk.:devil:

:popc1:


Actually, I study psychology (beside my job) and I am quite against psycho-analysis (in the freudian meaning)
 

LostInNerSpace

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
Actually, I study psychology (beside my job) and I am quite against psycho-analysis (in the freudian meaning)

Chicken! Just kidding! I won't hold you to your word. But the offer is still open to analyze me in the non-fredian sense if you think can.:D I'm immune to WMDs (words of mass destruction).
 

Cality

New member
Joined
Mar 2, 2008
Messages
208
MBTI Type
ENFP
yeah kidding too. i just wanted to bring a new topic on the table. Don't forget Im closed to ENTP, and their love for argumentation! :)
 

nzAShadow

New member
Joined
Feb 17, 2008
Messages
64
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
think you'd get this with basically any TJ type....

I'm a very high P and I do this with every one I'm around, especially those that I'm talking too at the moment.

Honestly I wish I didn't do this because I can't hold a conversation with anyone cause I'm trying to figure out what's going on in their head and exactly how they'd react to what'd I would say and then trying to figure out what to say to get them to react in the way I want them to.

I find things much more satisfying when I'm not doing this but I can't seem help it. Analysis paralysis ftl
 

kafkacat

New member
Joined
Oct 23, 2009
Messages
55
Enneagram
inxj
I totally enfp-intj are awsome together, they have this unbelievable chemistry, i know because i was in one several years ago, and if i had it my way i would have ended up with him, but unfortunately we were broken apart due to distance and school obligations, i still hold a burning torch for him. Anywho....if you have issues with your intj just be direct and give them lots of space to process stuff, and it''ll be great i assure you.
 

freedom geek

New member
Joined
May 18, 2009
Messages
158
MBTI Type
INTx
Enneagram
5
Sounds like something I would do. I want an intelligent, rational, introverted, curious, pro-science girl with similar interests/values and absolutely no desire to have children whatsoever. Before I get close to someone I must determine they meet these criteria and something along the lines of psycho-analyzing seems like the quickest way to do this. Then again the sort of girl I'm after would not be significantly disturbed by my doing so.

Look at it as a good thing, they want you for your personality not your body.
 

Ulaes

loopy
Joined
Jan 11, 2009
Messages
850
MBTI Type
crak
Enneagram
sax
Also this gives us useful information as to predicting future actions and deciphering motives behind the things you say/do.

what a turn off.
this is why i've never been into TJs.
 

Argus

New member
Joined
Jun 11, 2008
Messages
658
MBTI Type
ENTP
When dealing with INTJ men, I found this thing very boring : they want to psycho-analysis you, when they get interested in you and start spinning in their head and stressing if they know you enough to start something with you, instead of enjoying your company and getting to know you by sharing time with you like anyone else would do. Is that really any usual pattern with INTJs?

No, it's a character problem.
I am a part time sufferer.
 

Kyi

New member
Joined
Sep 27, 2009
Messages
47
MBTI Type
ENFP
I recently started dating an INTJ. I think he is borderline P. I can't say I know him really really well yet, but in a way, I do feel like he judges everything I say or express to him. Like he's trying to figure out a part of me that doesn't exist or comes out when I'm in a certain mood. It's not like a direct feeling of "oh he's analyzing me right at this moment". I warned him that I get moody sometimes and can throw a tantrum once in a while. He said he was okay with that since he's dealt with a lot crazier girls than me and still hasn't found a reason to dislike me yet. Him telling me this makes me slightly nervous, like I need to watch what I say so he doesn't think I'm stupid. I usually don't hold back and I think he sort of enjoys my slightly ditzy-ness, but I think he knows I can hold a good, intelligent conversation.

I'm also trying to figure him out in a way, but not who he is, but rather how he can become if he opened up more.

If this relationship passes the 3 month mark (that seems like the average length for me, not including one 2 year relationship), then I will vouch for the ENFP + INTJ = potential to be good stuff if he isn't a complete prick. I know, it's pretty pathetic.
 

substitute

New member
Joined
May 27, 2007
Messages
4,601
MBTI Type
ENTP
must admit I find the idea of INTJ's psychoanalyzing people pretty funny... I mean, if ever there was a type less qualified... of all the types it's the one that's supposed to have the poorest understanding of "people" generally... how on earth would they think they were even capable of analyzing a recent acquaintance to such a level, let alone figuring out what life would be like if they lived together? :laugh:

I'd say those types that are typically quite socially clueless would benefit from the services of a friendly matchmaking friend or relative, who knows them and their ways very well but is more able to read other people accurately than say, IxTx.
 

poppy

triple nerd score
Joined
May 30, 2009
Messages
2,215
MBTI Type
intj
Enneagram
5
must admit I find the idea of INTJ's psychoanalyzing people pretty funny... I mean, if ever there was a type less qualified... of all the types it's the one that's supposed to have the poorest understanding of "people" generally... how on earth would they think they were even capable of analyzing a recent acquaintance to such a level, let alone figuring out what life would be like if they lived together? :laugh:

I'd say those types that are typically quite socially clueless would benefit from the services of a friendly matchmaking friend or relative, who knows them and their ways very well but is more able to read other people accurately than say, IxTx.

It's not that our understanding of "people" is necessarily poor...our ability to pick up on their moment-to-moment emotions is where we most commonly fail. Understanding their characters and desires isn't such a challenge though. INTJs are capable of being very perceptive and understanding when we pull our heads out of our asses :D And if an INTJ develops an interest in "people" as a topic, you can be they'll make a point of learning all they can about them.

Matchmaking could be hit or miss. On the one hand, it's likely the only way to get us paired up. On the other hand, a non IxTx is not entirely likely to know and understand what an INTJ wants from a relationship.
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
If I could find someone qualified enough to do matchmaking for me I'd go with that. Till then I find that analyzing a person of intrest is just good policy; I get better girls when I follow it.
 

Wild horses

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2008
Messages
1,916
MBTI Type
ENFP
LOL in response to OP... I have known quite a few INTjs do this... Iand it a little disconcerting too... something about being under the microscope!
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
ENTJs are worse with their microscope though. At least ime. INTJs at least go about it in a quiet way. Still makes you paranoid, but ENTJs, when they aren't on a mission and ignoring you, or consider you the mission and focus all their attention on you can feel like being interrogated by the frigging Gestapo :alttongue:

Give me INTJ-probing anyday.
 
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