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  1. #21
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    Why would you not "psychanalyze" a potential mate?

    This one decision can have more consequences on the rest of your life than possibly anything else you decide. If you're not compatible, wouldn't you want to know this from the start before feelings get all involved?
    You would. I think at least for INTX's and possibly all rationals, it would be almost impossible not to because we are intuitive thinkers. We need to see the big intuitive picture and analyse it with logic, whatever "it" happens to be.

    I think the point Cality is getting at is that we can keep that s#!t to ourselves. She does not want to hear about or care about the reason and theory behind why she is the way she is or behaves in the manner she does.

  2. #22
    Doesn't Read Your Posts Haight's Avatar
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    Several posts moved to the following location:

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...hoanalyze.html
    "The only time I'm wrong is when I'm questioning myself."
    Haight

  3. #23
    Senior Member Veneti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cality View Post
    When dealing with INTJ men, I found this thing very boring : they want to psycho-analysis you, when they get interested in you and start spinning in their head and stressing if they know you enough to start something with you, instead of enjoying your company and getting to know you by sharing time with you like anyone else would do. Is that really any usual pattern with INTJs?
    Well, given that women have said to me "Sheeze, its like you put women through a series of tests". Its like someone that knows me has asked this question...

    Thats the great thing about us INTJs, we are pragmatic and want to find out if "the objective" has a brain that actually works, as soon as possible... then we can stop wasting time - efficiently.

    Generally, we'll ask lots of oblique questions to see how smart you are and test your weaknesses out. We can pick up whether you have common sense pretty quickly...

    Oh, reading your post again, you already know them well. Well, in your case its more like they are a guy (which means that are not as in touch with their feelings generally as women to start with) and because they are an INTJ then there's even less connection with their feelings. I'd say they are stressing about whether they want to have a relationship etc, because a relationship takes them way out of their natural comfort zone. For most INTj guys they can generally win with logic or additional effort. Winning is a function of self determination. Where as with women and relationships its like you can try to do everything and still fail.... not what the INTJ guy likes at all.

    Nb: A guy that is thinking about and stressing about a potential relationship is already caught hook line and sinker.... thats why he's thinking so much... its like "help".. "I'm sinking and I can't direct this ship anymore"... "its unchartered waters"..

  4. #24
    Highly Hollow Wandering's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    Why would you not "psychanalyze" a potential mate?

    This one decision can have more consequences on the rest of your life than possibly anything else you decide. If you're not compatible, wouldn't you want to know this from the start before feelings get all involved?
    Exactly

    Though, as LostInNerSpace said, you don't have to do it out loud. I guess that would be one of the main differences between INTJs and INFJs: both INJs will tend to psycho-analyze their potential partners to death (though not necessarily with the same focus: to caricature, you guys might be more oriented IQ while we would be more oriented EQ), but the INFJs won't SAY so, won't share their musings with the object of their study/affection unless asked/allowed to do so, because, you know, it wouldn't be "nice"

  5. #25
    Senior Member Cality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Veneti View Post
    Well, given that women have said to me "Sheeze, its like you put women through a series of tests". Its like someone that knows me has asked this question...

    Thats the great thing about us INTJs, we are pragmatic and want to find out if "the objective" has a brain that actually works, as soon as possible... then we can stop wasting time - efficiently.

    Generally, we'll ask lots of oblique questions to see how smart you are and test your weaknesses out. We can pick up whether you have common sense pretty quickly...

    Oh, reading your post again, you already know them well. Well, in your case its more like they are a guy (which means that are not as in touch with their feelings generally as women to start with) and because they are an INTJ then there's even less connection with their feelings. I'd say they are stressing about whether they want to have a relationship etc, because a relationship takes them way out of their natural comfort zone. For most INTj guys they can generally win with logic or additional effort. Winning is a function of self determination. Where as with women and relationships its like you can try to do everything and still fail.... not what the INTJ guy likes at all.

    Nb: A guy that is thinking about and stressing about a potential relationship is already caught hook line and sinker.... thats why he's thinking so much... its like "help".. "I'm sinking and I can't direct this ship anymore"... "its unchartered waters"..
    interesting! Thank you!

  6. #26
    Senior Member Cality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wandering View Post
    Exactly

    Though, as LostInNerSpace said, you don't have to do it out loud. I guess that would be one of the main differences between INTJs and INFJs: both INJs will tend to psycho-analyze their potential partners to death (though not necessarily with the same focus: to caricature, you guys might be more oriented IQ while we would be more oriented EQ), but the INFJs won't SAY so, won't share their musings with the object of their study/affection unless asked/allowed to do so, because, you know, it wouldn't be "nice"
    That's it! I also do analyse guys I see as potentially interesting. I can't help. But I am aware, I can't really tell them everything i try to analyse.

    And there 's also some kind of "over-analysing" with INTJs

    Edit : of course, psycho-analyse wasn't used in the freudian way but rather as an analyse on how your mind works, how you intellectually and psychologically work

  7. #27
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wandering View Post
    Exactly

    Though, as LostInNerSpace said, you don't have to do it out loud. I guess that would be one of the main differences between INTJs and INFJs: both INJs will tend to psycho-analyze their potential partners to death (though not necessarily with the same focus: to caricature, you guys might be more oriented IQ while we would be more oriented EQ), but the INFJs won't SAY so, won't share their musings with the object of their study/affection unless asked/allowed to do so, because, you know, it wouldn't be "nice"
    LOL
    You hit the nail on the head
    I N V I C T U S

  8. #28
    Highly Hollow Wandering's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cality View Post
    That's it! I also do analyse guys I see as potentially interesting. I can't help. But I am aware, I can't really tell them everything i try to analyse.
    That's why you're an F, and they're T

    And there 's also some kind of "over-analysing" with INTJs
    Nonsense. You can never accuse an INJ of over-analysing anything, because what you under-analysing types consider as over-analysing is actually just our normal level of analysing. Savvy ?

  9. #29
    Senior Member Cality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wandering View Post
    That's why you're an F, and they're T


    Nonsense. You can never accuse an INJ of over-analysing anything, because what you under-analysing types consider as over-analysing is actually just our normal level of analysing. Savvy ?

    Ok It comes across as over-analysis... Too much thinking in the air without any Yuuhuuu come back to earth, we are there.... Kinda disconnected from reality. For example, one INTJ guys who is interested in me prefers reading my facebook profile over and over, analyse it through and through, watching all my pictures and taking for hours on msn for weeks rather and before really setting any date at first.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Veneti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wandering View Post
    That's why you're an F, and they're T


    Nonsense. You can never accuse an INJ of over-analysing anything, because what you under-analysing types consider as over-analysing is actually just our normal level of analysing. Savvy ?
    Ahh... I think many INJ's over analyse when it comes to people and relationships. Not everything is predictable and rational. Sometimes you have to go with the flow, enjoy the moment and see what happens...

    If you stare a bunch of random dots long enough you will see a picture, same too with social interaction.... you can paint a picture of a potential relationship or whatever by thinking... and be completely wrong... If you weren't so "I" then you'd have just asked and resolved the mind games early on.

    Too much thinking in relationships etc is too much J controlling. Use J in analytical situations and use more P when you're dealing with people. Same to with I and E.

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