User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 19

  1. #1
    Senior Member Agent Jelly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Posts
    344

    Default is this an intj thing?

    So I'm married and my husband and his family had a falling out June 15th. Basically his dad went nutzo on him and started saying WHACKY stuff like how he ruined his mothers life by joining the military, marrying me, and knocking me up before marriage. And then wanted him to seek forgiveness from his mother like she was Jesus Christ in the walking flesh. This was all because my husband asked his dad if his mom would slow down on buying second hand baby stuff.

    So anyways I basically ended up sending his dad an email saying until he learns to reasonably talk to his son I don't want to be around him or his family. And I especially don't want my kid around someone who FLIPS a shit on people randomly. But I was willing to see them and talk to them again regularly if they made amends with my husband. So my husband sent him an email saying what his expectations were for the relationship between them, and how he thinks they could make it better, etc. AND WE NEVER GOT A REPLY.


    So today he checks his mail box (yes like snail mail) for the first time in like two months (I sent him a package on monday). AND HE SEES HIS MOM SENT HIM A LETTER ON THE 22nd of JUNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She was actually normal and apologized and explained she didn't expect him to understand why his dad went off because she had never explained to my husband why she was mad and that she doesn't need him or expect him to come to her for forgiveness regarding his choice to have sex before marriage etc.


    And then hes like "well I will write her a letter after class" and I was like why? shes already waited 2 months for your reply, you wanna make her wait another week to get a letter?! Just make a 10 min phone call and explain to her that you just checked your mail and you're really sorry you didn't get back to her sooner and you're happy that the air has been cleared between ya'll!

    It was like pulling teeth from a mule to get him to make that friggen phone call... and I was just wondering is this NORMAL? To be so absent minded and then want to prolong the situation even longer?! I explained to him that making the phone call would appear more genuine and urgent than writing a letter. and it wasn't fair to make her wait longer for the baby shower invite.

    So he listened to me and actually did it, and was a lot happier that he talked to his mom.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    9,133

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Agent Jelly View Post
    shes already waited 2 months for your reply, you wanna make her wait another week to get a letter?!
    The alternative perspective: What difference does it make whether it is eight or nine weeks?

    Quote Originally Posted by Agent Jelly View Post
    It was like pulling teeth from a mule to get him to make that friggen phone call... and I was just wondering is this NORMAL? To be so absent minded and then want to prolong the situation even longer?!
    Two things come to mind:

    1. The interaction was e-mail-based; so that is how it shall remain.
    2. Unpleasant conversations are much easier dealt with via non-personal mediums.

    I do not think that his intention was to prolong the situation, but rather that he wanted to end it as comfortably for him as possible.

  3. #3
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    4,209

    Default

    INTJs are not big on talking in general, and this is especially evident during the times of social discomfort, e.g. a family drama with emotional bullshit. That's why his first reaction was to use a letter to reply.

    Also, I realize you were trying to help him and stand up for "what's right", but I advise against getting directly involved when the in-laws are fighting. Chances are, you're going to make things a lot worse.

    Edit: I see the fancy gentleman above me already provided an explanation, but I suppose my post expounds on it.
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Agent Jelly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Posts
    344

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    The alternative perspective: What difference does it make whether it is eight or nine weeks?


    Two things come to mind:

    1. The interaction was e-mail-based; so that is how it shall remain.
    2. Unpleasant conversations are much easier dealt with via non-personal mediums.

    I do not think that his intention was to prolong the situation, but rather that he wanted to end it as comfortably for him as possible.
    The difference makes that she would have to wait even longer for the details of my babyshower.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Agent Jelly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Posts
    344

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    INTJs are not big on talking in general, and this is especially evident during the times of social discomfort, e.g. a family drama with emotional bullshit. That's why his first reaction was to use a letter to reply.

    Also, I realize you were trying to help him and stand up for "what's right", but I advise against getting directly involved when the in-laws are fighting. Chances are, you're going to make things a lot worse.

    Edit: I see the fancy gentleman above me already provided an explanation, but I suppose my post expounds on it.
    No I don't think I could make things worse. They are all very passive aggressive and expect everyone to have ESP about their feelings, wants, expectations. >.< I don't know why him or his family can't pick up a PHONE.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    9,133

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Agent Jelly View Post
    The difference makes that she would have to wait even longer for the details of my babyshower.
    Yeah, that's...


  7. #7
    Senior Member Agent Jelly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Posts
    344

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Yeah, that's...


    What the hell is that thing?

  8. #8
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    9,133

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Agent Jelly View Post
    What the hell is that thing?
    A star-nosed mole.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Agent Jelly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Posts
    344

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    A star-nosed mole.
    I fail to see how its relevant at all?

  10. #10
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    9,133

    Default

    It is not, but that is its significance: it mirrors your point.

Similar Threads

  1. [INTJ] Is this an INTJ thing?
    By birdseye in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 10-13-2014, 01:30 PM
  2. [INFJ] Is this an INFJ thing, or am I just crazy?
    By Ribonuke in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 12-13-2013, 12:41 PM
  3. [INFJ] Is this an INFJ thing?
    By Lily flower in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 11-23-2011, 07:44 PM
  4. Is this an EXFX thing?
    By Snow Turtle in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 11-11-2008, 09:50 PM
  5. [INTP] Is this an INTP thing? Or am I just sick?
    By Mort Belfry in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 01-30-2008, 10:56 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO