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  1. #81
    Gotta catch you all! Blackmail!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badlands View Post
    I personally have no problem using Fe, but overall I use it in a logical way. I have an Idealist mother and sister, and sometimes being calm won't stop them, so I have to become emotional to make them understand that I'm not willing to compromise or cave in on something.
    Well... Fe is all about making compromises...
    "A man who only drinks water has a secret to hide from his fellow-men" -Baudelaire

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  2. #82
    Junior Member sam988's Avatar
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    Yes NTs do have the tendency to possibly become the most cold blooded, calculist, ruthless, or whatever other adjedctive you say. I see these traits all as gifts and feel flattered if someone tells me or thinks that i'm like that.

  3. #83
    Senior Member htb's Avatar
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    What a weird, belligerent concept for a thread.

    Anyway, ESTPs and ISTPs are the ones to watch. Part virtuoso, part heavy.

  4. #84
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Okay it seems that a little terminology investigation would be useful.

    "Brutal" seems to indicate blunt trauma.
    "Most forceful" would need clarification as to whether we're talking pressure (ie modified by area of impact and sending NTs to the top [or bottom] of the class [it depends on your perspective ] or sheer poundage of input.
    "Causes most pain" would inevitably be based on personal experience and should quantify towards those types who can see enough of you to hit where it hurts but not understand you enough to pull the blow.

    See "most Brutal" brought to my mind the image of blunt trauma and sheer force, not precision. Now NTs are nothing if not precise in their disassembly of a target and therefore would be furthest from my mind when thinking about brutality.

    It could be just me but I was thinking this was a little murky and could do with light being shed.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  5. #85
    Member suzyk's Avatar
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    Well, it actually depends on how much the person knows about the subject. NT's are brutal with words, and that's what I like about them. Most will tell you their opinion or idea, straight to the point, and if you oppose, they will assault you with reasons and proper proof most of the time. They're also pretty darn stubborn.

    I know that I am in no way cold to people who just want to talk to me about something random, but when people start opposing me [in real life], I usually just draw back or I use simple phrases with them because I don't want to be too 'harsh' with them, as they put it. NT's have a lot to say. I respect the brutal honesty, as long as it's worded in a respectable way. Could work on the constructive criticism skills, though.
    "I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better."
    - A. J. Liebling

  6. #86
    Procrastinating
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    I respect the brutal honesty, as long as it's worded in a respectable way.

    Lightbuld moment! Those who had the guts often accused me of being brutally honest. I haven't heard that so much since I hit the Fe developmental stage.

  7. #87
    Senior Member sriv's Avatar
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    Honesty should not be euphemisezed. It would not be honesty if it was.

  8. #88
    you are right mippus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badlands View Post
    I personally have no problem using Fe, but overall I use it in a logical way. I have an Idealist mother and sister, and sometimes being calm won't stop them, so I have to become emotional to make them understand that I'm not willing to compromise or cave in on something.
    So you need to get emotional to make a rational point?
    Nice!
    Vanitas vanitatum omnia vanitas

  9. #89
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Sometimes I decide that two people have to play nice, but as a mediator, but I just have no idea how to do it, so I end up using my usual iron fist. When I get sick of people arguing and I force them to play nice, I'm usually at my most brutal. I don't have any precision or finesse in such matters, so all I can do is bring a club and hope for the best.

    Arguments can also get pretty ugly, but I try to spare dragging in the other's personal character into the argument. It's only good sportsmanship -- and I get angry when the other tries to drag in mine, as people are apt to do. I'd never survive in politics. Arguments should be able to stand on their own. If they can't, they get destroyed.

    But in personal disagreements, it's all about your personal character, and I'm just so bad at it, so my attempt to make people kiss-kiss-make-up ends in a lot of bruised feelings and sometimes broken bones.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  10. #90
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mippus View Post
    So you need to get emotional to make a rational point?
    Nice!
    Yup. Sometimes people really don't GET it until you allow yourself to show intense emotion. (But it's being used to make a point, NOT because you're out of control.)

    I can't begin to tell you how many times people (especially SF types) tend to not "get" how upset I am about something or how much something means to me unless I actually express my emotions instead of trying to sound level and objective about things.

    This is practical use (to some degree) of Fe-style behavior, I think. You access the conventional rules accepted in your culture in order to convey your commitments and intentions and internal state.

    Hap, yes, the mediation process is not easy. (Kids give you a real workout... and yes, it's like, "Wait, why am I screaming at you to be nice?!")

    The best I have been able to do is maintain a sense of detachment... not as in "not caring" but as in, "I can't change them, I can't fix things, all I can successfully do is try to reframe the situation for them, then let THEM decide how to approach it." If you're in an authority position over them, you can also just break it up if it looks like it's gonna get to bloodshed, but otherwise... And sometimes people also need time to work through their emotions before they're willing to do any lip service, either. So... meh. Take the T route... give some clarity, then get the hell out of dodge.

    I think I came up with a quote ten years ago that ran like this: "The only thing worse than two fools trying to destroy each other is the fool standing between them trying to make them make up."
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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