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  1. #1
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Default Personal Feedback (not just for NTs)

    How much feedback do you get about how you come across to others, and the effects of your behavior on them? What kind of feedback is it: direct, as when someone tells you, "you're always so helpful", or "it bothers me when you do X"; or indirect, where you have to read into people's expressions, body language, etc. what they are not saying in words? Do you care about getting this kind of feedback? How, if at all, do you use it?

    I put this in the NT forum because I suspect we are the least attuned to whatever feedback may be directed our way, but I encourage replies from and about all types.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  2. #2
    Junior Member apotheosis29's Avatar
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    I don't seek out any feedback. I'm highly introverted so there are few close enough to me that would give me negative feedback like "it bothers me when you do x". When I have gotten negative feedback, I try to adjust my personality accordingly, if I agree with their assessment. As for getting feedback from body language, I'd say I'm pretty much oblivious to it. If I wanted to pay attention to it, I'm sure I could, but I just don't care enough to interpret indirect communication.

    Receiving positive feedback is a nice thing but it's not something I crave for or need for every little thing. I remember I had this friend who said that she was always making the wrong decisions and she was impressed that I typically had my life in order. She said that she was going to come to me for every decision from now on, including where to eat for dinner. I took that as a compliment. That lasted about all of 5 minutes until I suggested somewhere she didn't want to eat...ha ha, oh well.

  3. #3
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    Hm. Well, I'm very introverted, but I'll seek out feedback from anyone about whom I care (which, actually, I'm doing right now).

    I've also studied body language so I can pick up on other things too...

    Naturally, I don't 'pick up' on anything usually. No subtle hints, etc. If someone gives me positive feedback, I hardly ever respond because I don't want to look arrogant (which might actually have that effect anyway). When I get negative feedback, how seriously I ponder over it depends entirely upon my view of their competence in that area....
    Intuition is the supra-logic that cuts out all the routine processes of thought and leaps straight from the problem to the answer.

  4. #4
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    In my line of work and customer relations, I get a lot of positive feedback. But I can't say I am my true self around customers. I'm after their monies after all. So I'm not sure they really count.

    In my more personal life, I don't seem to get feedback ever. Maybe because I don't chase it. I don't know.

    I won't say I don't enjoy getting good feedback, because I do. It makes me feel all gooy inside! But I also do not require it, because ultimately, I will have an opinion of my own that will matter much more to me than anyone elses.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  5. #5

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    I feel like I'm pretty sensitive to what people think of me, but more sensitive to the "unspoken" things they're thinking.

    If someone came up to me and said "I think you are a big, mean, egotistical JERK" I'd probably be a lot more like "eh, whatever" than if I sensed they felt that, but weren't saying anything directly to my face.

    In general, though, I LOVE getting positive feedback. Yum yum. But negative feedback doesn't phase me as much, emotionally. In a way, I tend to prefer negative feedback ("this is what I think you could do better") because it doesn't affect me as much emotionally (I feel like it's more constructive).

    I get positive feedback and I feel so good about it that I don't think about what I can improve on ("ohhh yeah, I'm the shit! That guy just reinforced it!"). And I LOVE dynamic growth.

  6. #6
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    I've worked on a government facility where I had to attend people with every kind of problems. Some were getting death threats, some were needing expensive medicine they couldn't survive without, some had got their land stolen. My INFP co-worker once told me ''I was imagining you attending those people. They talking about their problems and you *slang for not caring*''. I asked her what could I do besides taking notes and sending it to the prossecutors. Then, she agreed that crying instead of taking notes was definitely a bad idea. I'm really bad at empathizing, but it never occurred that I was giving this image.
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  7. #7
    ThatGirl
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    People don't seem to have a big problem telling or showing what they think/feel about me. Unless they say it directly though, I just pretend not to notice.

  8. #8
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the replies.

    Quote Originally Posted by apotheosis29 View Post
    I don't seek out any feedback. I'm highly introverted so there are few close enough to me that would give me negative feedback like "it bothers me when you do x". When I have gotten negative feedback, I try to adjust my personality accordingly, if I agree with their assessment. As for getting feedback from body language, I'd say I'm pretty much oblivious to it. If I wanted to pay attention to it, I'm sure I could, but I just don't care enough to interpret indirect communication.
    So you do not get much feedback, especially negative, from people who are not close to you? Why do you think this is so? I am not including work-related feedback from your boss/teachers here.

    Quote Originally Posted by alakazam View Post
    Naturally, I don't 'pick up' on anything usually. No subtle hints, etc. If someone gives me positive feedback, I hardly ever respond because I don't want to look arrogant (which might actually have that effect anyway). When I get negative feedback, how seriously I ponder over it depends entirely upon my view of their competence in that area....
    How do you evaluate feedback that is less about competence or skill than about personal qualities - like your honesty, reliability, conversational manner, etc.? Are there areas that you are more willing to entertain feedback on than others?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    In my more personal life, I don't seem to get feedback ever. Maybe because I don't chase it. I don't know.

    I won't say I don't enjoy getting good feedback, because I do. It makes me feel all gooy inside! But I also do not require it, because ultimately, I will have an opinion of my own that will matter much more to me than anyone elses.
    The highlighted has been my experience as well, though I have often wondered why. I agree about positive feedback. It can actually make me rather suspicious, depending on the source and the circumstances.

    Quote Originally Posted by allegorystory View Post
    I feel like I'm pretty sensitive to what people think of me, but more sensitive to the "unspoken" things they're thinking.

    If someone came up to me and said "I think you are a big, mean, egotistical JERK" I'd probably be a lot more like "eh, whatever" than if I sensed they felt that, but weren't saying anything directly to my face.
    What clues you in to the "unspoken" things people might be thinking? Do you ever get confirmation that your interpretation of their thoughts is correct? This is something I have often wondered about. Do you prefer feedback that is specific, either positive or negative (e.g. rather than just telling you you are a jerk, someone should explain what they are upset at y ou about)?
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  9. #9
    ThatGirl
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    And thank YOU, for not responding to my post!

  10. #10
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    And thank YOU, for not responding to my post!
    Welcome to the club.
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

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