User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 31

  1. #1
    Senior Member Cality's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    208

    Default I've got time to kill... Do you also?

    I met online a guy I don't know much but who is intriguing me. Would you let yourself intrigued and help me to analyse him without he ever notices it?

    I try with him to shift away from my usual habits to share with guys I like, my interest in psychology and to psycho-analysis them while asking them very direct questions about who they are. I want to stop doing this with him because :
    1. Once I get them, they are no longer interesting to me. And I think "next... " So i want to keep the intriguing part of this guy real.
    2. because it fakes the relationship from the start. Too much open-up, too close from the start and no mystery.
    (well, ok 1 and 2 are similar points....)
    3. Because with the few things I know about this guy, i start to like him, a little ...

    So, back to this guy, I've never met him in real but it's coming, im working on it.
    The purpose of this email is let's find his type together, ok?

    The first time we've emailed each other, he immedialty mailed me back an interesting and lively resumee of his life. I was surprised... he seemed not to be willing to hide anything about his life, not even that he had been engaged and didn't marry that girl in the end (i didn't ask for more details so far...).
    This guy is surely N because his strive for intellectual stimulation is so obvious : he is a lawyer, PhD in laws (did it while he was working), and now, does a other laws specialisations...
    He seems to not really like th messenger/chatting thing, which is cool, since i prefer to meet in people in real. So we didn't talked that much.
    he's been really wierd at first. He told me he was happy to talk to me online or so but never did any effort to start the conversation himself. So i started 3 conversations like this. After a while, he offered me to meet up on a very wierd way : he offered to meet in a city which was very near to his and far from mine. And also to meet up soon without setting any dates and saying : well Im busy so we'll see later for the date. I thought he was kinda playing me and i've started ignoring him during 2 weeks. I thought he wasn't worth of my efforts. I could imagine from his description and pictures that he is the type of guy who has a few girls around him. I didn't want to be one more.
    After 2 weeks, he suddenly started talking to me (as if the fact I ignored him would raise his interest) and offered the next day out of the blue to meet up again in a few weeks since he shared with me online his schedule and seems to be really busy. It also seems that the meeting up thing stresses him. (and beside we don't live in the same city, not even in the same coutrny so it's quite complicated, we have to see each other on a week-end).
    His way to get to know me is fun : he wants to visit some new place with me. Exactly the type of activity i just LOVE! Sight-seeing!!! So it seems that his way to connect to me is sharing interests. He doesn't try to ask me a lot fo questions about me. He doesn't try to psycho-analyse me. He just talks about his life and i share mine. He just tries to know a lot what I like to do : sports, dance, travel and so on. Just the same way to connect than a former INTP boyfriend who acted the same way at first. I like it.
    I thought he could be well an INTP (he seems to be a little random). He seems to have friends but doesn't seem to take a lot of time to socialise. But the thing that i find the most off putting in him and the less INTP is that he uses a LOT of emosticon while on IM, even though he is in his middle 30ies (which looks so immature). A lot of smiley smiling and winks. That seems to be so F and a lot of sweets sentences (that i rather find touchy-feely). Im not sure if this is just because he has been influenced by some SF/NF there.

    That's it for the first part of the adventure. What do you think of it so far, Thee Oooo MBTI experts???
    What should I observe next?

  2. #2
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    GONE
    Posts
    9,051

    Default

    Um...I'm not sure about his type from reading, but I would seriously reconsider meeting up with someone you've never met IRL and with the purpose of running around a new city together, alone.

    But in answer to your OP:
    If you want to try to psycho-analyze him I would ask him sneaky questions..like "are currently dating anyone?" hahaha -- only partially kidding. I guess those would be my primary questions -- more practical, like are you really single, what are you looking for, what are your expectations, have you done this before, etc.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  3. #3
    Senior Member Cality's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    208

    Default

    [QUOTE=CzeCze;180704]Um...I'm not sure about his type from reading, but I would seriously reconsider meeting up with someone you've never met IRL and with the purpose of running around a new city together, alone.

    [QUOTE]
    Ok for the second part about the dating stuff, I thought of it too! Omina see that anyway!

    But for the first part, i find this really cool to visit a new place like this. Well, i already did it with an INTP and this was cool. I've good memories of it. Maybe that's just a cultural difference. Beside, at any time, you can leave and say you go.... The restaurant thing for the 1st meeting is too boring in my own opinion. At least, if his company is not very interesting, I still will have visited a new place and not completly lost my day! Whereas once you sitt in front of someone at a restaurant, you have to wait until the end of the meal to run away..; Too stressful! (I know, I am a typical P there!! )

  4. #4
    mrs disregard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    7,855

    Default

    I would not meet this person, unless you want to turn up on the 6:00 news.

  5. #5
    Senior Member creativeRhino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    113

    Default

    You don't know if anything he says is real, or do you?

    I've been doing some dating. I try to check out folks before I meet them - get a photo and name info and do some research first. I only meet guys that I can do some basic verification.

    I've met a few who are INTJ/ENTJ types - your fellow sounds a bit like that or maybe ENTP. Especially if a lawyer. There's really not enough info provided in non face to face "short burst" communications to be sure.

    INTJ comes to mind because of the factual stuff. He could be an ISTJ as well on that basis. Using smileys/emoticons etc can be just a learned thing rather than a spontaneous thing.

    INTJs can be great communicators online / by phone etc but very different face to face - much more reserved and literally "lawyerly".

    Only meet if you can find out some more stuff - eg have a webcam chat or swapping photos and some other info to help verify who he is really.

    I've not had any resistance to such requests, and give enough info for them to decide about me (but not so they can find me physically!)

  6. #6
    Procrastinating
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    954

    Default

    I can tell you this... any guy who wants to meet me is going to have to come to my city or close to it... just the accepted courtesy in dating... and to wherever I feel safe. If he doesn't want to know where I feel safe... nope... red flag.. run, don't walk to the nearest exit.

  7. #7
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    1,027

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cality View Post
    But the thing that i find the most off putting in him and the less INTP is that he uses a LOT of emosticon while on IM, even though he is in his middle 30ies (which looks so immature).
    Excessive use of winks I think is cheesy, but use use of emoticons is not childish. ENFPs do this too, but not with the emoticons. ENFPs will use words like

    Uhnn
    Hmph
    Hmmm

    I am much better with pictures than words. I had to look up the spelling of Uhnn, Hmph and Hmmm because expressing myself with words like that is just such an alien concept to me. I would not be surprised if the same applies to other INTPs.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cality View Post
    on a very wierd way : he offered to meet in a city which was very near to his and far from mine.
    Sounds kind of selfish. Are you old fashioned about a man being a "gentalmen" or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cality View Post
    and a lot of sweets sentences (that i rather find touchy-feely). Im not sure if this is just because he has been influenced by some SF/NF there.
    It's possible he faked the touchy feely stuff for your benefit because he thought you would like it. ENFPs do that naturally. You do it when you "mimic" people. It's called building rapport. It's why you make friends so easily. INTPs just happen to suck at it.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Cality's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    208

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by creativeRhino View Post
    You don't know if anything he says is real, or do you?

    I've been doing some dating. I try to check out folks before I meet them - get a photo and name info and do some research first. I only meet guys that I can do some basic verification.

    I've met a few who are INTJ/ENTJ types - your fellow sounds a bit like that or maybe ENTP. Especially if a lawyer. There's really not enough info provided in non face to face "short burst" communications to be sure.

    INTJ comes to mind because of the factual stuff. He could be an ISTJ as well on that basis. Using smileys/emoticons etc can be just a learned thing rather than a spontaneous thing.

    INTJs can be great communicators online / by phone etc but very different face to face - much more reserved and literally "lawyerly".

    Only meet if you can find out some more stuff - eg have a webcam chat or swapping photos and some other info to help verify who he is really.

    I've not had any resistance to such requests, and give enough info for them to decide about me (but not so they can find me physically!)
    Ok!! I've google him and the info provided seems to be accurate so far. But since you are all warning me, I take your warning into account!

  9. #9
    Senior Member Cality's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    208

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LostInNerSpace View Post
    Excessive use of winks I think is cheesy, but use use of emoticons is not childish. ENFPs do this too, but not with the emoticons. ENFPs will use words like

    Uhnn
    Hmph
    Hmmm

    I am much better with pictures than words. I had to look up the spelling of Uhnn, Hmph and Hmmm because expressing myself with words like that is just such an alien concept to me. I would not be surprised if the same applies to other INTPs.


    Sounds kind of selfish. Are you old fashioned about a man being a "gentalmen" or not?


    .
    Yes i am old fashioned about gentlemen!! I love gentlemen!!!!!!!! that's why i didn't appreciate his offer.

  10. #10
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    1,027

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cality View Post
    he offered to meet in a city which was very near to his and far from mine.
    Just out of interest. How far was "far"? Two miles or two hundred miles? Was he going to make you come to him or was he going to pick you up? If it were me, I might offer it as a suggestion if I thought she might like it.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02-03-2013, 09:03 PM
  2. [NT] the NT wishing well: you've got funding, what idea do you put it in?
    By Society in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 08-28-2012, 11:20 PM
  3. [ISTP] ISTPs, do you actually want to kill everyone you see or do you just look like it?
    By Elfboy in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 57
    Last Post: 11-28-2011, 11:32 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO