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  1. #11
    Senior Member Cality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LostInNerSpace View Post
    Just out of interest. How far was "far"? Two miles or two hundred miles? Was he going to make you come to him or was he going to pick you up? If it were me, I might offer it as a suggestion if I thought she might like it.
    He is 2 hours away.
    I hate when guys pick me up. I get the impression, i don't have any control about the situation and it stresses me that i can't keep any door open to leave earlier (because they would also have to bring me back).

    Back to this guy : it's over! He acted like a jerk today. I offered him to meet up tomorow and he didn't even answer though he was on messenger the all day. I don't like that type of guy who is unreliable and not even polite. Beside I am having this impression to be taken for granted. If he ever talks to me on IM, he's going to know what I think of his behavior....
    Last edited by Cality; 04-05-2008 at 02:42 AM.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Cality's Avatar
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    Update : he actually finally wrote something hypocritically (from my own perspective) warm and nice to say that he is so sorry to be sooo tired and sooooo busy but that he couldn't make it for this week-end.
    Since I hate chasing unavailable guys, Im leaving it there and start ignoring him again. He's going to have to do all the work to meet up again, if I am ever willing to meet him up later.....

  3. #13
    Senior Member Cality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LostInNerSpace View Post
    Excessive use of winks I think is cheesy, but use use of emoticons is not childish. ENFPs do this too, but not with the emoticons. ENFPs will use words like

    Uhnn
    Hmph
    Hmmm

    I am much better with pictures than words. I had to look up the spelling of Uhnn, Hmph and Hmmm because expressing myself with words like that is just such an alien concept to me. I would not be surprised if the same applies to other INTPs.


    Sounds kind of selfish. Are you old fashioned about a man being a "gentalmen" or not?



    It's possible he faked the touchy feely stuff for your benefit because he thought you would like it. ENFPs do that naturally. You do it when you "mimic" people. It's called building rapport. It's why you make friends so easily. INTPs just happen to suck at it.
    see I don't use all that hmmms and smileys when using IM. ....

  4. #14
    Senior Member Butterfly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cality View Post
    Update : he actually finally wrote something hypocritically (from my own perspective) warm and nice to say that he is so sorry to be sooo tired and sooooo busy but that he couldn't make it for this week-end.
    Since I hate chasing unavailable guys, Im leaving it there and start ignoring him again. He's going to have to do all the work to meet up again, if I am ever willing to meet him up later.....
    Hi Cality,
    Nice to read your post and see something happening in other peoples lives, unlike mine, so I will try to live vicariously through you two

    Ok this guy sounds interested I think, but unsure, typical INTP behaviour in my view. But he does sound interesting. Whats sounds more interesting is that you sound interested in him! Right?
    Yes he has to take the effort, but you have to give very very open hints since INTPs can be a bit thick sometimes Isnt that right INTPs who are reading this right now?? lol

    Keep us updated dear. tc.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Cality's Avatar
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    Thank you! You are my favorite butterfly! Take me updated about the nothing happening in your life, then.... Who knows????

    I already thought he could be INTP (borderline I/E) because he is somehow so random and even though he tried to be thoughtfull and to show kinda feelings in the way he talks on IM, some strange behavior betray his lack of those. When I make him aware that he kinda could have hurt my feelings so far without noticing it (didn't replay to this email for example at first), he asks for forgiveness very deeply as if he wouldn't have noticed he could have hurt me but really feels sorry (but who knows if he really cares?). I've gone through the same pattern with a thick INTP former boyfriend.
    (also he took yesterday my cellphone number to be able to text me or ask me out more easily than on messenger....)


    So you seem to be less critical toward him as at first??? What did change your opinion?

    As I said, i've google him, compared pics on the net and pics from him i got, and he seems to be who he claims to be. But I stay cautious!

    And yes I am interested so far because :
    1. he obviously sounds bright and smart
    2. he obvioulsy sounds open-minded and a travel's lover (well, im not sure the last expression is correct.. I mean that he loves to travel..!!??!!)
    3. he obviously sounds the perfect well-balance guy i've searched for so long : sporty, dancer, intelligent, ambitious, cool and family-orientated but not in the way of traditional gender-roles though (made very obvious from the start that he loves kids and seems to be interested in the fact that I work with some) and he doesn't sound controlling at all (and since my last realtionship with a highly jealous and controlling ENTJ went bad, I now am very cautious of this!)
    4. he is not psycho-analysing me contrary to most INTJ guys I've met and who were interested in me so far... He jsut wants to get to know me in real life by sharing interests rather than spending hours on IM contrary to other guys.

    I think he is defintely N and P

  6. #16
    Senior Member Butterfly's Avatar
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    Hi Cality
    nice to hear from you.

    My life...well its boring. No man in there. Im just curious about the ENFP and the possible INTP dynamics at work, since I faced a similar situation not long ago. which led me to come on this forum to oooo seek answers and understanding lol.
    So i can feel ya...what ur going thru.

    You say Im less critical towards him and why? Well, because though you have some anger towards him, its very obvious by ur posts that ur interested in him, and like him. So im trying to come to ur wavelength i suppose.
    Doubts about distances and where he wants to meet are natural, and its always important to be cautious and protect yourself. There is no doubt there.

    He sounds good, but unless you see him in his own element physically with your own eyes, then I think it would be harder to beleive in the stuff. So your fears and doubts are natural i guess.

    Okies..tc..gtg now. ciao.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Cality's Avatar
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    the thing is that my dad is an INTP, I think.. (borderline P/J). And I am maybe for this reason attracted to INTPs, since like msot girl, my dad is my absolute unconscious and conscious male model...

    I understand your situation about INTP/ENFP dynamics because i already went through that and it was hard, even though i admired a lot this INTP. The hardest is the diffferent communication style, in my own opinion. But I am sure, once you've got over this, INTPs can be great matches!

  8. #18
    Senior Member Cality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly View Post

    He sounds good, but unless you see him in his own element physically with your own eyes, then I think it would be harder to beleive in the stuff.
    Sure, that's why I wanted to meet him quickly

  9. #19
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    I don't have time to kill, thank you. Now as for people...........

  10. #20
    Senior Member Butterfly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cality View Post
    the thing is that my dad is an INTP, I think.. (borderline P/J). And I am maybe for this reason attracted to INTPs, since like msot girl, my dad is my absolute unconscious and conscious male model...

    I understand your situation about INTP/ENFP dynamics because i already went through that and it was hard, even though i admired a lot this INTP. The hardest is the diffferent communication style, in my own opinion. But I am sure, once you've got over this, INTPs can be great matches!
    Yes I see where the dad role model thing comes into play. So has your dad met that guy? It would be interesting to see 2 INTPs meeting. hehe especially a b/f and a father! Bcos dads are naturally protective of their daughters etc.

    Yes communication style is different between ENFP and INTP. But they aint bad people, just that if they love you, they can scare the shyt out of you, with over the top, deep, volcanic outbursts of crazy ways to express their love. Its very scary....almost psycho like. :S
    But well...thats was my case. I hope urs works out better.
    tc.
    ciao

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