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  1. #1
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    Default for socially awkward INTP, how does relationship happen?

    I been out of school for couple years, haven't went out or socialized since than. It makes sense since I have major depression but I would really like to meet people. Not really into loud places so clubs and bars isn't my scene. I tried online dating sites but it didn't end very well for me. I have been applying for jobs but after working at retail I don't wanna work in any of those environment ever again.

    How does anti-social INTP find relationship in real world places?

    Just FYI I really enjoy spending time on my own, It's just I get really lonely and I"m still human.

  2. #2
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    alcohol
    -end of thread-

  3. #3
    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    alcohol
    Do you start imagining people for company when under influence of alcohol?

    I thought the key question of the OP is he doesn't know places where to try to get to know people besides loud party places that he doesn't like (I have the same issue, heh). Do you have some kind of hobbies (or interests in stuff) that you could do with other people together?

  4. #4
    Senior Member Neutralpov's Avatar
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    Hate to say it but it sounds like you do need a few good quality friends think2much. Expecting that you can be 100% independent seems to be causing your problems from what I can tell. Maybe you should let go of that and realize everyone needs others in their life. The best way I have found to be in a relationship is to have a few solid friendships before to help keep me healthy since relationships are high risk in that they come in and out seeing if you are right for them. Relationships are not the place to become a better and healthier person and if you expect it you are going to be hurt and mangled for misusing them. You will become more and more negative if you use them for what you are really seeking. I set 3-6 months to go to activities around town that I enjoy to meet and vet out 3-4 friends. It was a excellent step in my life and I recommend it.

  5. #5
    Senior Member goats's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post
    I been out of school for couple years, haven't went out or socialized since than. It makes sense since I have major depression but I would really like to meet people. Not really into loud places so clubs and bars isn't my scene. I tried online dating sites but it didn't end very well for me. I have been applying for jobs but after working at retail I don't wanna work in any of those environment ever again.

    How does anti-social INTP find relationship in real world places?

    Just FYI I really enjoy spending time on my own, It's just I get really lonely and I"m still human.
    What do you look like?
    Why don't you like clubs and bars? Have you been to a club before?
    I 50 N 100 T 62 P 39

  6. #6
    Senior Member goats's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeatherC View Post
    Hate to say it but it sounds like you do need a few good quality friends think2much. Expecting that you can be 100% independent seems to be causing your problems from what I can tell. Maybe you should let go of that and realize everyone needs others in their life. The best way I have found to be in a relationship is to have a few solid friendships before to help keep me healthy since relationships are high risk in that they come in and out seeing if you are right for them. Relationships are not the place to become a better and healthier person and if you expect it you are going to be hurt and mangled for misusing them. You will become more and more negative if you use them for what you are really seeking. I set 3-6 months to go to activities around town that I enjoy to meet and vet out 3-4 friends. It was a excellent step in my life and I recommend it.
    Hey, OP, listen to this person :]
    I 50 N 100 T 62 P 39

  7. #7
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    You need to be happy alone before you can be happy together. The fear of loneliness will pollute any relationship you have.



  8. #8
    Senior Member Priori's Avatar
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    Go to Amazon, do a search for Leil Lowndes. Read everything she's ever written. A lot of her material can be redundant, but it will help you learn social skills in a format that an INTP can digest.

  9. #9
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Observations:

    INTPs in general feel they're socially awkward, even when they don't necessarily come across as such. If you were to discuss a social interaction with them, their perspectives can be completely different than what appeared to happen, according to an observer or even as the other person(s) in the interaction. That's not to say they're not socially awkward especially when they're in one of their caving moods which makes them grumpy to interact with.

    From my experiences, INTP men tend to be like others when seeking non-platonic connections. They just need a bit more encouragement with blatant shows of interest and some need the woman to be the aggressor. That said, some, even when sweating buckets, will come onto women much like other types of men by asking women out. But of the ones that I've experienced, there has to be a "click" or they're gone.

  10. #10
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    Observations:

    INTPs in general feel they're socially awkward, even when they don't necessarily come across as such. If you were to discuss a social interaction with them, their perspectives can be completely different than what appeared to happen, according to an observer or even as the other person(s) in the interaction. That's not to say they're not socially awkward especially when they're in one of their caving moods which makes them grumpy to interact with.

    From my experiences, INTP men tend to be like others when seeking non-platonic connections. They just need a bit more encouragement with blatant shows of interest and some need the woman to be the aggressor. That said, some, even when sweating buckets, will come onto women much like other types of men by asking women out. But of the ones that I've experienced, there has to be a "click" or they're gone.
    How u know all this? Have you been bird watching INTP-watching again?
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

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