Well I just asked my bestest friend (girl who knows a bunch of cool people and is likely ENFP) to help me out. Here is the message I sent her, verbatim.
So I'll see how that goes. I have no real expectations, but I figure anything will be better than nothing. The theory is sound, and if you have patience (like INTPs usually do), OP, it should work for you as well.Hey. You know a lot of people. Do you happen to know any cute female superhero enthusiasts that might enjoy my company? Not like a big deal or anything, just something I'm considering.
Disclaimer: theory is totally untested by me as of this writing.
07-22-2011, 03:55 AM #31
07-22-2011, 04:48 AM #32
3.when it comes to school or anything eles I'm focused on, socializing is a huge distraction while I"m working on something.
taking a class just to meet people feels like going to church just to meet people. I want to take class for myself not be the main purpose to socialize.
It seems with my attuide it's impossible to have any relationship with anyone. I don't need a lot of friends, I would be happy with one best friend
07-22-2011, 08:23 AM #33
Urm... you have a serious problem then. Time? You have the rest of your life. Money? Well unless you are dirt poor - money happens. In terms of focus - you focus on socializing... the main point of taking the class is not to learn yet more stuff: change the primary objective.
"I want to take class for myself not be the main purpose to socialize."
"I tend to snap at people now, just full of anger. "
"I would be happy with one best friend"
From where I sit you have the opposite of a virtuous circle - a death spiral. The more isolated you get, the more pissed off you are going to get – which in turn leads to more isolation. You need to find a way to change the rules of the game – because you aren’t winning. To me your approach is rigid and, frankly, you seem to have a lot of self pity (never an attractive attribute). If you keep the same approach to life you should have little expectation that the results will change – the definition of insanity all that.
Best of luck.
07-22-2011, 10:39 AM #34Anew LeafGuest
Red Flags You Need to Correct Before Dating:
- Your depression. Find a counselor and get help. Get on meds if that is what you need. (In the very least get this book: The Feeling Good Handbook. I know the cover is the most ridiculous thing ever, but the book actually does work.)
- Get a support network of family. Reach out to parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. Even if it is just 1-2 people.
Tips In General:
- Stop taking yourself so seriously at work. It's great that you want to be professional and want to be thought of as professional. But if you're in the lunch area and see a couple of coworkers, go over and chat with them and yes, be a little goofy with them. Work is not just about how professional you are, how competent you are, etc. Work is about relationships between people. My INTP dad has been a manager for two different companies and he talks a lot about why he hires certain people. He has hired people before who weren't the most qualified on paper over those who were simply because they were pleasant and he forsaw that he would have less people issues with them in the future.
- It seems with my attuide it's impossible to have any relationship with anyone. I don't need a lot of friends, I would be happy with one best friend
- To be blunt: get your head out of your ass. Then move to point 4.
- Reread through this thread and seriously consider the points being made by multiple people. Stop immediately pooh-poohing what everyone has suggested. (That is your depression talking for the most part.) Actually listen. If you knew all the answers you wouldn't be on this forum making a thread about this problem.
- Class: Then take a class that is fluff/fun and perhaps revolves around meeting people. Like, ballroom dancing or cooking or paper mache elves.
To Sum Up:
If what you are currently doing now in your life regarding your attitude, your interests, and your priorities, is not working for you; then it logically follows that you should change your attitude, your interests, and your priorities.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
07-22-2011, 03:25 PM #35
...aaand Saturned wins the internet.Never wrestle with a pig. You will get dirty and the pig will enjoy it.
6w5 3w4 8w9
07-22-2011, 03:58 PM #36
07-22-2011, 08:31 PM #37
Of course, as Saturned pointed out, your second paragraph here is the key.I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...
07-23-2011, 03:56 PM #38GlycerineGuest
Also, the social awkwardness is NOT because you are INTP. Some of the most charming people I know are INTPs who know how to adapt and act like themselves.
07-23-2011, 04:14 PM #39
07-24-2011, 01:32 AM #40
By cafe in forum Politics, History, and Current EventsReplies: 19Last Post: 07-20-2013, 01:45 PM
By Synapse in forum The BonfireReplies: 11Last Post: 09-28-2010, 09:27 PM
By Aphex in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive FunctionsReplies: 17Last Post: 03-23-2010, 09:33 PM