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  1. #21
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    Are we talking about the friends INTPs kill and bury in the basement? Or just wound emotionally?

  2. #22
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    My oldest INTP friend simply tells me "Oh, I'm really glad you're here." when we're at the same venue, he also told me he considered me a good friend, but at the same time he remains very distant. There are also moments of Fe, pure kind-heartedness. I think he'd do a lot for me, but I don't ask for much (perhaps perpetuating the distance in that way, but it just isn't in my nature).

    I think they appreciate

    acceptance (support)
    humour
    intelligent conversations
    sharing N-y experiences or P-y experiences
    open-mindedness (or at least the NP brand)
    boobs in their face

  3. #23
    Senior Member jimrckhnd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    My oldest INTP friend simply tells me "Oh, I'm really glad you're here." when we're at the same venue, he also told me he considered me a good friend, but at the same time he remains very distant. There are also moments of Fe, pure kind-heartedness. I think he'd do a lot for me, but I don't ask for much (perhaps perpetuating the distance in that way, but it just isn't in my nature).

    I think they appreciate

    acceptance (support)
    humour
    intelligent conversations
    sharing N-y experiences or P-y experiences
    open-mindedness (or at least the NP brand)
    boobs in their face
    There is hope. As I grew older I realized letting people close to me know how much I cared about them was/is important. I just kind of set a mental reminder to touch base and say I appreciate them. I have the bad habit of vanishing from people's lives when I'm engaged in an other "project" or interest so I've been known to cheat and set a reminder on my schedule app. I'm not sure if I'm just faking it or that is an authentic way of showing affection. But it works.

    RE: your comment that you think he'd probably do alot for you. I'd say the probabilities are good. Judging from my personal experience and what I have read on the subject (admittedly limited) INTPs are often capable and willing to go to great lengths for their friends at need. Additionally I’d say you might take him up on it once in awhile: I derived (still do come to think of it) much satisfaction from having the opportunity to make geastures that demonstrate my friendship. A friend just got a nice case of strep throat. I took the opportunity to whip up a couple of gallons of chicken soup and drive it over an hour in the hopes it would maker her feel better. It seemed to… and I know I felt better being able to do something for her when she felt so lousy.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimrckhnd View Post
    RE: your comment that you think he'd probably do alot for you. I'd say the probabilities are good. Judging from my personal experience and what I have read on the subject (admittedly limited) INTPs are often capable and willing to go to great lengths for their friends at need.
    Very true in my experience, my INTP friend once told me, "You need anything, anything at all, you come to me".

  5. #25
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimrckhnd View Post
    RE: your comment that you think he'd probably do alot for you. I'd say the probabilities are good. Judging from my personal experience and what I have read on the subject (admittedly limited) INTPs are often capable and willing to go to great lengths for their friends at need. Additionally I’d say you might take him up on it once in awhile: I derived (still do come to think of it) much satisfaction from having the opportunity to make geastures that demonstrate my friendship. A friend just got a nice case of strep throat. I took the opportunity to whip up a couple of gallons of chicken soup and drive it over an hour in the hopes it would maker her feel better. It seemed to… and I know I felt better being able to do something for her when she felt so lousy.
    Hah, you reverse ESFJ. That's definitely a nice gesture. Yeah, he does a lot for our other friends as well. He's also definitely got a protective streak.

  6. #26
    Senior Member jimrckhnd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    Hah, you reverse ESFJ. That's definitely a nice gesture. Yeah, he does a lot for our other friends as well. He's also definitely got a protective streak.
    Heh... my secret is that under this cold, logic obsessed facade - I've got a soft heart. Just keep it between us okay?

    Protective? Oh man... I have a protective streak a mile wide, esp. with my female friends. If I we were standing in a blizzard and they were dressed in a parka and I had on jogging shorts I'd offer them my gloves.

  7. #27
    Senior Member uncommonentity's Avatar
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    When they email you asking where you are.
    Veni, Vidi, Cessi.

  8. #28
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    I find that I'm able to discuss different things with different inner circle friends too.
    This is important to me. I don't even consider hiding things from certain people--it's just that I know what I can smoothly discuss with one person will become a struggle to clearly explain with another one of my friends.

    That said, I don't have a lot of friends. To me, friendship is a rare and special thing. Not given lightly or easily. Sense of humor, honesty, loyalty, independent, knowing when to speak and when to be quiet. Ease of communication...it's not such a struggle (even though 90% of the time, it's going to be hard). Sharing thoughts. Being able to discuss the good, the bad, the up and the unpleasant, the dark side of things in a very in-depth but straightforward way (if a person gets overwhelmed in the middle of one of these discussions, I'll never do it again).

    Hmm...stuff I can't stand...loose lipped folks, dishonesty, flightiness, clingy, whiny, steady stream of small talk, avoiding issues or topics because it's "upsetting", taking things too personally, stiff, controlling, false...

    And it feels strange to separate traits out like this. I mean, everyone can display the above traits at any time. It comes down to individuals in the end. The people that I consider friends are well...just awesome people. Not sure what else to say.

  9. #29
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    "What traits do INTPs look for close friends?"

    Intuitivity and any common personal interest that connects us. These two together will do.

    "Which traits can INTPs NOT STAND in people?"

    I am not good at determining whether someone is joking or not. I can joke and I can talk more seriously but I need to know which one it is I am involved in. If for any reason I can't tell the nature of the talk for sure, I will feel very uncomfortable and become distant.

    "What are the traits specifically in ENFPs that INTPs admire/relate/ are attracted to?"

    Actually, I am not sure whether this is more an INTJ trait or a combination of INTP and INTJ (I am 50% J and 50% P) but I shall tell it anyway...

    I can basically talk and think about anything, be it any imaginable matter or feelings, just anything. I just constantly keep analysing my environment and my company for clues on acceptability of topics and their depth. If I get no hints, I assume a very safe "I don't want to hurt or scare anyone" -state.

    Based on my what I have learnt when talking with the couple of ENFPs I know, ENFPs seem to talk a lot about themselves and they also sound very open to me. Those things automatically make me assume that it's ok to talk about basically anything and therefore, I surely do. It's truly amazing how an ENFP can make an introvert like me open up and not feel uncomfortble for that.

    "What are the traits specifically in ENFPs that INTPs are annoyed by or dislike?"

    Sometimes, they talk to much and make my retreat into my shell.

  10. #30
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    CosmicJourney, that is quite amazing, but I don't think MBTI will help it much. What INTPness has said is spot on though and you're definitely close, you don't need to be anything other than you, it doesn't matter what an INTP would want you to be, you just need to be the best you possible. In these relationships, any faults in either person involved will clog up the gears, resulting in this need to take time apart from each other to sort them out. It happens in every relationship, especially in the earlier stages, the faults need to be ironed out, which can take effort from both parties. As long as he puts in the effort to change and doesn't waste yours, the relationship will thrive (and possibly run into the same problem later, but you'll know how to deal with it, and it will be fixed quicker). If there's no effort being made, or one sided effort, breakup is the answer. I have a friend who has had to do this twice already because he is the only one putting in time and effort, it hurts everyone and confuses some, but only briefly. Another friend is going through this right now, they're taking time apart, though I am suspicious of whether his girlfriend is trying or even wants to be with him anymore.

    This is just what I gather from observing relationships and listening from others, lol, not experience.
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