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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    This thread is really...awkward.
    I've seen FAR worse.

    Mostly though, narcissism is boring. And trite.

  2. #62
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    I've seen FAR worse.

    Mostly though, narcissism is boring. And trite.
    Like I said to another member, it would be easier to provide advice on genital itch or athlete's foot fungus!

  3. #63
    Senior Member FunnyDigestion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ü View Post
    The problem is I have trouble being interested in others, but I want to be admired. I apparently can't make Myself seem interesting enough to do this. I've tried just about everything, and I just can't seem to master it.
    Lol, recursive problems, how computer-science-y. The reason for your problem is your problem; what's stopping you from being less self-centered is that you're self-centered-- that's basically what you've said. Having trouble being interested in others (which on its own is merely detachment) while also wanting to be admired (which on its own is merely social ambition) is the precise definition of the unique character flaw which is narcissism. What you've said is that the thing stopping you from solving your problem is your problem.

    You're in a loop, the only way out is... to break it! (no that doesn't mean killing yourself which would be pretty silly in a narcissist anyway)
    RCUAI
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    "Man is free, but his freedom ceases when he has no faith in it."

  4. #64
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    Provided I am a narcissist, as you say, how would I break the loop?

  5. #65
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ü View Post
    I'm a psychopath now? I'd love to hear your reasoning behind that. What on this thread suggests psychopath?
    Well, I don't subscribe to the notion that psychopathy is necessarily genetic, but a result of life circumstances just as narcissism is. So I see a lot of similarities with narcissism. But a narcissist is afraid of feeling shame and looks to project a grandiose image of themselves at the expense of another person's well-being. They act out of insecurity.

    You on the other hand said that you don't really think there is anything wrong with your personality and that you really aren't insecure (so I'm going to believe you). But you also say that you don't really have interest in the subjective experience of other people (I hope I paraphrased that accurately), yet you want or feel you need them to cater to yours. This is what I consider the difference between narcissism and psychopathy, where a psychopath is acting much more out of boredom than insecurity. So I wanted to ask.

  6. #66
    Senior Member FunnyDigestion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ü View Post
    Provided I am a narcissist, as you say, how would I break the loop?
    Well, as someone said earlier, everyone struggles with selfishness. In fact, the only people who DON'T struggle with it are usually narcissists!

    Because they're totally immersed in it.

    Some narcissists actually are so used to indulging every selfish impulse that flicks into their brains that they don't even notice it, & would probably be baffled if someone decided to criticize them for being selfish.

    In light of that, it was probably unjust for me to call you a narcissist, since by making this thread you're struggling with it somehow.

    For breaking out of it-- just like with breaking out of anything (jail, etc)-- nothing beats raw force. At least after all else fails. By which I mean, forcing yourself to concentrate on other things. Preferably stuff with no evident connection to you. Even if everything else you try focusing on only sends you back to thinking of your self, at least you know the attempt is making you better somehow. Or at the very minimum, trying to be less self-centered won't make you more self-centered. Trying & failing is the only way to change at anything-- besides trying & succeeding, which is obviously even better.

    Maybe you think that since you know what your ulterior motives are (to fuel your self-worth / ego), trying to be more interested in people wouldn't work. But that's inevitable. Ulterior motives are inevitable. That's why you have to document your progress so others with the same problems can learn from your struggle. Personally what I think would happen is by seeing reflection of your own issues in others, you would become less alienated from them.
    RCUAI
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    "Man is free, but his freedom ceases when he has no faith in it."

  7. #67

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    Start by stopping capitalising me and myself. That'd be a good start I reckon.

  8. #68
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    This guy is playing you all. And it's really boring.

  9. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    Start by stopping capitalising me and myself. That'd be a good start I reckon.
    Okay, I'll try.

    And I've followed some other suggestions, as well, so why is it that I am met with nothing but more insults (or worse, I'm ignored)? Your suggestions don't have any value unless they work.

  10. #70
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ü View Post
    Okay, I'll try.

    And I've followed some other suggestions, as well, so why is it that I am met with nothing but more insults (or worse, I'm ignored)? Your suggestions don't have any value unless they work.
    It's your tone. You're coming off all wrong.

    No one here thinks you're so special that you should be admired, so it comes across as extremely arrogant when you ask us how to get people to admire you. Admiration is an incidental bonus to the development of human relationships, and not an end in and of itself. That's just one of those rules you've got to learn.

    I'm not saying you should be more empathic. I know that's usually not in the cards for those with Asperger's, which you identified yourself as in the past. Your brain is simply not wired this way. People say you're self-absorbed because that's the nature of a brain on the autistic spectrum. There is nothing you can do to change that. There is also nothing wrong with this.

    What's more, if others did admire you, you would probably not even notice. Admiration is the emotion of appreciating in others the qualities you aspire to. Admiration requires empathy.

    However, other people have the right to not like you because of this. They should not actively harm you as a result, but if they do not like you, it is their prerogative. Instead of worrying about what they think, instead, focus on what you like about yourself, and what other things you like in life.

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