I went through all these pages to make sure you haven't already gotten the most obvious answer:
I am biologically female, but I am hella awkward at being what people think that means.
I try to curl my hair and it comes out a mess, I try to apply my makeup but it looks caked-on and obvious, I try to giggle and I sound like I'm sneezing or horking, I try to apply self-tanner and I look like a patchy crocodile... I'm just not good at being conventionally pretty, a conventional girl. I don't know why I try, I think it has a lot to do with getting people to leave me alone about why I am who I am. It got tiring to explain why I think it's much more important to be complimented on my intellect and not my "pretty face" and expecting to be treated like an intellectual equal to others instead of being patronized.
I say we riot, ladies. Who's with me?
(Or I can stop caring and put up with the flack. Whatever, rioting is much more interesting.)
A lot of people tell me that my personality is way too masculine, and it offends me only because the traits they're talking about are inherently human. Why is rationality, logic, or being stoic masculine? As a woman, I'm expected to be whiny, emotionally-driven, unfunny, and illogical. I'm sorry I can't live up to those very dignifying and natural expectations.
I am a freak of nature.
No, sweety, you are a female INTP *drumroll*
Seriously, before the Nfs start throwing bunnies and unicorns at me in anger: Of course this isn't limited to any type - but it does seem common for NT women (as others have already mentioned).
That's the one thing. In fact, I expected a much more deep rooted uncomfort when I read the thread title. But since when is femininity about makeup and giggling and behaving like a teenage barbie doll????
No being able to do the barbie thing just means you have arrived in the 21st century and have a few brain cells to put together. Nothing more and nothing less. That doesn't mean it is inherently wrong to be a barbie when one enjoys it. It means that it is ridiculous to buy into that social pressure that you have to be one. Who the heel defines what makes you feminine? You or some magazine article?
Doing the barbie thing is a question of a few simple skills one can acquire. But if you don't feel like it - more power to you!
Maybe I am priviledged here because I grew up in an environment where I was actually mocked when I prettied up. I remember sitting down at the breakfast table in some nice cloths or wearing some makeup or jewelry once in a while as a teenager and my ENTP mum would inevitable greet me in a mocking voice: "Oh, hello,
madame!". Anything too conventionally feminine was sort of implicitely looked down upon. So I never even tried to pull off that stuff until my twenties and usually make a conscious decision every morning: do I go neat or comfortable today? Default modus is comfy cloths, glasses, no makeup. Meeting people or just-feeling-like-it modus is presentable cloths, contact lenses, slight makeup. But is is almost always a conscious decision.
The same thing goes for mating behavior and playing the damsel in distress. I HATE that stuff and have to make a conscious decision every time whether I want to play that role or not.
Most of my friends are guys but when I am with a group of females, I usually feel extremely uncomfortable. One on one with my INTJ friend is something else. We enjoy being able to let out the girl inside in each others company, often in a semi-serious semi-ironic manner (think Jane Austen movies and pink muffins)
maybe you should get yourself some ungirly NT lady friends
