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  1. #41
    Senior Member Hera's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    p.s. curious - why do you have that super groomed/feminine avatar?
    I'm a classic movie junkie and I love Judy Garland and Bette Davis, hence the Garland/Davis themes with my pics. I find them beautiful but different looking, their beauty is uniquely theirs and unlike other actors of their time. I admire the groomed feminine look -- without feeling like I can pull it off for myself.

  2. #42
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hera View Post
    (Or I can stop caring and put up with the flack.)
    This!

    No one can define femininity for you unless you allow it. Conventional "wisdom" to offset conventional expectations.

  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    This!

    No one can define femininity for you unless you allow it. Conventional "wisdom" to offset conventional expectations.
    exactly.

    The best way to being "feminine" is to just be yourself. The reason I think some women are so beautiful/stunning is because they simply ARE whomever they are. My ENFJ friend is one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen, but the main reason she is so beautiful is because she exudes her essence with everyone. It merely enhances her natural, physical beauty all the more.

    If doing the conventional cheerleader high school girl thing doesn't work for you, then don't do it. No biggie.

    And in regards to makeup - the only way I have been able to "get into" the make up thing is to think of it like painting. Creativity I can do!

    And in the immortal words of Marge Simpson's mother: "Remember, ladies pinch. Whores use rouge."

  4. #44
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hera View Post
    I'm a classic movie junkie and I love Judy Garland and Bette Davis, hence the Garland/Davis themes with my pics. I find them beautiful but different looking, their beauty is uniquely theirs and unlike other actors of their time. I admire the groomed feminine look -- without feeling like I can pull it off for myself.
    In case you have not seen it, I recommend the Dick Cavett interview with Bette Davis (YouTube has it).

  5. #45
    Senior Member Hera's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    In case you have not seen it, I recommend the Dick Cavett interview with Bette Davis (YouTube has it).
    I have seen it She's fascinating.

  6. #46
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Smile Saturnalia

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    exactly.

    The best way to being "feminine" is to just be yourself. The reason I think some women are so beautiful/stunning is because they simply ARE whomever they are. My ENFJ friend is one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen, but the main reason she is so beautiful is because she exudes her essence with everyone. It merely enhances her natural, physical beauty all the more.

    If doing the conventional cheerleader high school girl thing doesn't work for you, then don't do it. No biggie.

    And in regards to makeup - the only way I have been able to "get into" the make up thing is to think of it like painting. Creativity I can do!

    And in the immortal words of Marge Simpson's mother: "Remember, ladies pinch. Whores use rouge."
    Dear Saturned, my sweet rabbit, one can see existential ugliness if one has the eye. But imagine you are ugly, and are supremely self confident, then you would use your ugliness like a movie. You would fascinate not only your audience but yourself as well.

    And during your Saturnalia, all roles are reversed, and the beautiful become ugly and the ugly beautiful. Would you become ugly for me, dear rabbit? Would you put on the mask of ugliness and let your soul shine through?

  7. #47
    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hera View Post
    I admire the groomed feminine look -- without feeling like I can pull it off for myself.

    Oh, its
    You
    ....

  8. #48
    Senior Member Hera's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by You View Post

  9. #49
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hera View Post
    I am biologically female, but I am hella awkward at being what people think that means.

    I try to curl my hair and it comes out a mess, I try to apply my makeup but it looks caked-on and obvious, I try to giggle and I sound like I'm sneezing or horking, I try to apply self-tanner and I look like a patchy crocodile... I'm just not good at being conventionally pretty, a conventional girl. I don't know why I try, I think it has a lot to do with getting people to leave me alone about why I am who I am.
    Why bother? Save your effort, save your time and money, save your skin, save yourself. Plenty of other people are out there being conventional - they have it covered. Be yourself, and expand their horizon on what it means to be female. There are less taxing, more effective ways to get people to leave you alone about all this.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  10. #50
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hera View Post
    Even my least conventional friends still have expectations for me. My close friends always ask me why I felt awkward being girly and I explained that it's just unnatural to me. I think that in a way most people have these conventions and expectations so to find people who don't have them is rare and difficult.
    Yeah, life can be tough and what not.
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

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