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  1. #1
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    Default How Can I Win the Love of an INTP Guy?

    INTP guys, how best to create that romantic spark in your heart? Bonus points if you can tell me how a girl who you never would have thought of as your type made you feel that way.

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    You can't create it, you can't fake it, but you might have to be the one to ask him out. INTPs can be oblivious.

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    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I Never Find Peace View Post
    INTP guys, how best to create that romantic spark in your heart? Bonus points if you can tell me how a girl who you never would have thought of as your type made you feel that way.
    Creating romantic spark =/= winning my heart. 2 different things. Romantic spark is loads of fun and certainly gets the wheels rolling in the right direction, but the INTP is going to make his final decision with Ti. Does it work for all parties involved? Do I make her better, does she make me better? Do we enhance each other's lives or are there a lot of disagreements and problems? Would it be really great to have this person in my life for the next 40, 50, 80 years or would I be happier on my own?

    There is no formula for all of those questions. It either is...or it isn't. And if you are not yourself, then "it isn't" - because the answers to these questions should be based on your true self and him seeing a true representation of who you are. Just like MacGuffin said, you truly cannot fake it or create it artificially. It is, or it is not.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

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    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Feed and water them, leave them alone to grow on their own, grooming is optional.

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    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Head Pigeon Mad Hatter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    You can't create it, you can't fake it, but you might have to be the one to ask him out. INTPs can be oblivious.
    That is a very sound piece of advice. Sometimes I'm surprised at myself how talkative I can get when somebody approaches me, but it's all about making the first move. It's something I wish more girls would have done since I've had a very hard time usually making the first move, but it's still kinda the social convention that it's supposed to be the guy's job.

    Also, with INTPs there's loads under the surface most people don't see unless directly interacting with them, and sometimes we come across as aloof, or even downright arrogant. We guys are not exactly known for being overly expressive and like MacGuffin said, we can be oblivious, and in a lot of ways. At least in my case, this aloofness can also be a protection mechanism - I don't approach other people because I don't want to be rejected, which sometimes comes across as "I don't talk to you because I don't like you", sadly enough. If you approach him instead, you take make it a lot more relaxing for him.
    IN SERIO FATVITAS.

    -τὸ γὰρ γράμμα ἀποκτέννει, τὸ δὲ πνεῦμα ζῳοποιεῖ-

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    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    Feed and water them, leave them alone to grow on their own, grooming is optional.
    Hahaha. You seem to have some experience with these mythical INTP creatures. Do you?
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

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    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    Hahaha. You seem to have some experience with these mythical INTP creatures. Do you?
    My last three relationships were with INTPs so you might say I do have some cursory exposure.

    And cursory they were since to get to know an INTP, takes a lifetime.

  9. #9
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    My last three relationships were with INTPs so you might say I do have some cursory exposure.

    And cursory they were since to get to know an INTP, takes a lifetime.
    Likes and dislikes?
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  10. #10
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    You can't create it, but let me give you some tips from the ''How to keep an INTP man happy'' that would help.
    5.) Emotional. Be nice and do not screw with their heads. They can be sensitive. If you want something, ask for it. If you do not get all emotional and are willing to take no for an answer, they will usually try to accommodate any reasonable request. *hint* Socializing with large (or sometimes even small) groups of people for extended periods of time is not a reasonable request. This is normal behavior, not something you need to fix. It is not personal. If you like to socialize a lot, you have two choices: be willing to leave him at home with some cold pizza and his computer or find a different guy.

    These guys *need* to feel smart and competent. If you attack them in this area, if you try to make them feel stupid or incompetent, you lose some serious points.

    Accept early on that he loves you but can't, repeat CAN'T read your mind. If you are always expecting him to do things that he didn't know he was supposed to do and if you keep getting mad at him for not doing things that he didn't know he was supposed to do (or not do) he will become bewildered and frustrated and will give up trying to please you. He will either come to only tolerate you or he will escape. Be please-able. When he does something nice, say thank you, even if it's not what you wanted or its a little weird. Having him want to do nice things for you is the important thing. You can work on the details later.

    At some point, your rational INTP is going to show some emotion, maybe even "open up" to you. You are at a major points situation here. You can win a lot of points or you can lose even more. Revere this as the honor it is. The emotions are probably going to be undeveloped and may seem odd. Accept them, respect them, validate them. If you do, you will build his trust for you.
    The guide is real, but most of the advices are for people that are already in a relationship with an INTP. It sometimes treates INTPs more like pets than humans but the advices are still quite useful, just take them with a grain of salt!
    Source: http://homepage.mac.com/bahlberg/ibl...041/index.html
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

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