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  1. #41
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I think I do? There's kind of a sense of futility, in both of your most recent posts. But here's my question: If you so deeply want to understand a person, why don't you actively try and figure them out? Why not ask them directly why they do what they do?

    Of course, this question is biased towards my Te/Ne; my thought process is always "I want to understand this (Ne), so I'm going to MAKE myself understand it (Te)!!!" Like that Billy Collins quote, about beating a poem with a stick until it tells you what it means.
    Well, I do actively try to understand. I've worked with my step-father for long stretches of time and I've partied til the sun comes up with some old SP friends. And I've picked all of their brains with tons of questions - that's just my nature. I'm always picking and trying to understand and learn. But, what I'm saying is that some things you just can't FULLY understand until you are able to literally be in another person's shoes.

    Going back to my ESTJ step-father and my ESFP brother and I. Neither my step-father nor I understand my brothers need/desire for thrill-seeking and partying into the wee hours of the morning. Neither my brother nor I undersand my step-father and his need/desire to wake up at 5am and work until 9pm, and then get up the next day and do it all over again. And neither my step-father nor my brother understand my need/desire to research things, learn, analyze, and investigate 24/7. We all try to understand each other - we all ask questions, we all make fun of each other - but on some level, we just don't get each other. We understand certain things about each other, but we're always rolling our eyes at each other and the things we do. Am I the only one who has a family like this?
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    Well, I do actively try to understand. I've worked with my step-father for long stretches of time and I've partied til the sun comes up with some old SP friends. And I've picked all of their brains with tons of questions - that's just my nature. I'm always picking and trying to understand and learn. But, what I'm saying is that some things you just can't FULLY understand until you are able to literally be in another person's shoes.

    Going back to my ESTJ step-father and my ESFP brother and I. Neither my step-father nor I understand my brothers need/desire for thrill-seeking and partying into the wee hours of the morning. Neither my brother nor I undersand my step-father and his need/desire to wake up at 5am and work until 9pm, and then get up the next day and do it all over again. And neither my step-father nor my brother understand my need/desire to research things, learn, analyze, and investigate 24/7. We all try to understand each other - we all ask questions, we all make fun of each other - but on some level, we just don't get each other. We understand certain things about each other, but we're always rolling our eyes at each other and the things we do. Am I the only one who has a family like this?
    You are definitely not the only person with family like this. I would venture to guess my mom is an ENTP. I often feel she misunderstands me and isn't supportive because she doesn't understand my reasons for doing things. Then I don't understand why she says and does the stuff she does and says. Everything either is or isn't. There is no in between with her.

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    Does type XXXX feel misunderstood?

    Yes.

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