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[NT] People get worked up about the weirdest things...

funkadelik

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Maybe it's cause I work in customer service, but increasingly nowadays I just see SO MANY people overreact to what seems like the silliest little things.

Do you think people just like to make big deals out of things? Like it gives their lives some kind of meaning?

Where does this tendency to be dramatic (in some people) come from evolutionarily?

Wouldn't it seem to be more of a benefit to be more adaptable and less particular?

I don't know where I'm going with this. It just seems so...interesting! And weird! I guess it's just how our brains are wired, but I dunno...are particular people happy very often? What real GOOD comes from cultivating drama?

:huh:
 

Rasofy

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Some people are so fucked up that they think all of their problems are other people's faults. These people feel they don't have the power/status they deserve, so they make up using these small opportunities to ''feel important''. It's also a way to relieve stress.
Where does this tendency to be dramatic (in some people) come from evolutionarily?
Evolutionarily, putting the blame for every problem on outside factors probably have helped people maintaining self esteem. It's easier. You sleep better at the end of the day.

:solidarity:
 

Thalassa

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I'm pretty sure people are just people, but we live in a society where corporatized consumerism is

1) extremely high volume, which exposes you to a larger number of demanding assholes in a shorter period of time than people may have been fifty or sixty years ago

2) and additionally the U.S. has this insane mantra that the customer is always right, while at smaller businesses and many places in Europe or other countries if people act like that, the store reserves the right to kick them the fuck out...but in the U.S. people feel entitled to act as they please as long as they can pay

So there you have it.

It's partly human nature, partly social conditioning. Voila.
 

Xyk

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I totally know where you're coming from. I referee youth soccer. Those parents will scream at me over the most inane little things. They clearly do not remember what they're doing. They're watching 9-year-olds play a game.
 

knight

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[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irHXfdWqrpA"]yea[/YOUTUBE]

I think there was a video of some kids in cancoon that had a little riot at mc donalds.

(there are alot of videos of employees being attacked at mc donalds, or attacks happening at mc donalds)
 

Thalassa

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Yes, I believe Melody had a bit too much to drink. I always find it interesting that when somebody's kid has some insane inappropriate anger problem like that, the mom is always willing to defend them.

So you know that the kid learned to be that way, if not by example, from permissiveness.

IT'S ALWAYS THE MOTHER'S FAULT.
 

SilkRoad

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I do think people are under a lot of stress and it just comes out. I mean, some people are complete assholes, but I occasionally find myself getting angrier than I should (though only rarely is it obvious) about small things, and it's stress related. Generally I'm very laid back (see my thread in Relationships, haha.)

I've gotten mad quite a few times in customer service scenarios in recent years, but I grew up in Canada and now live in the UK, where the customer service is some of the worst in the Western world. I used to work in various customer service positions and I made such an effort to be professional and as courteous as possible, and so many people here don't give a damn. Mostly I try to remember that customer service can be difficult and I should be patient and polite as the customer, but bad service just because the person could care less really winds me up. Unfortunately, I've found that getting mad and raising your voice is sometimes the only way to get a result!
 

kyuuei

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The things I've found about people making a huge deal out of small things:

1. The biggest: it isn't so small to them. Whether they don't have many problems in life so they don't know how to deal with the small stuff, hate HATE hate things changing or being out of the ordinary so they cry over spilt milk, whatever the situation is it is a HUGE problem for them, and they cannot see that in anyone else's shoes it wouldn't be a big deal. The difference in perceived value is mostly what makes thse people look 'dumb'.
2. I've also noticed people like to take their frustration out on things that don't matter. Can't talk back to your mother-in-law? And 10 minutes after, you get a notice you have a late fee at blockbuster? ... You don't ever have to deal with blockbuster dude on the phone again... However, you do have to see mother-in-law next week for thanksgiving. Guess which gets the brunt of the stress and frustration? Customer service dude.
3. To a lesser extent, people are genuinely stressed out over something truly taxing, and they know they cannot help but be rude or pissed off, but they need to get these things done anyways.. and every tiny detail that goes wrong just feeds that rage inside.

I think a combination of all three is best illustrated in Paranormal Activity, that scary movie, by the main girl character interacting with her boyfriend. She displays all three of these.. #1 from the start, which leads to #3, and eventually she takes her anger out on him because of #2.
 

skylights

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i feel like sometimes people throw fits over little things because they feel like it's something they shouldn't have to worry about. "target doesn't have my favorite brand of toilet tissue, what the fuck is the problem!?!?!!??!!"

edit. that video. :rofl1:
 

INTPness

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I totally know where you're coming from. I referee youth soccer. Those parents will scream at me over the most inane little things. They clearly do not remember what they're doing. They're watching 9-year-olds play a game.

Haha. Seriously. I accidentally pulled out in front of another car recently and he had to slow down for me. It was my mistake. So, sure enough, he comes up next to me flipping me off and screaming behind his window, etc. While motioning to him that "Yes, it was my fault, sorry", I had a similar thought as you with the soccer parents. Clearly this guy has forgotten that he's just driving 30mph home from work. It's nothing of earth-shattering importance. It's just a peaceful drive home from work with your air conditioning going and your radio playing.
 

Within

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What real GOOD comes from cultivating drama?

Nothing, but fuck that old lady that cut infront of me when I was about to get my Smoked Salmon Philly Baguette. I am no longer young, so I can't bother to say live and let live anymore.
 

funkadelik

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Some people are so fucked up that they think all of their problems are other people's faults. These people feel they don't have the power/status they deserve, so they make up using these small opportunities to ''feel important''. It's also a way to relieve stress.

Ahhhh yes. Entitlement. One of the most useless frames of mind to be in...bring you nothing but disappointment (usually).

2. I've also noticed people like to take their frustration out on things that don't matter. Can't talk back to your mother-in-law? And 10 minutes after, you get a notice you have a late fee at blockbuster? ... You don't ever have to deal with blockbuster dude on the phone again... However, you do have to see mother-in-law next week for thanksgiving. Guess which gets the brunt of the stress and frustration? Customer service dude.

This is really good insight, thanks. I never thought of it quite like that but yeah, it's way easier to let out your aggressions on Perfect Stranger over there because there won't necessarily be long-term side effects...but if you take it out on someone in your intimate life, it could make things WAY worse.

Haha. Seriously. I accidentally pulled out in front of another car recently and he had to slow down for me. It was my mistake. So, sure enough, he comes up next to me flipping me off and screaming behind his window, etc. While motioning to him that "Yes, it was my fault, sorry", I had a similar thought as you with the soccer parents. Clearly this guy has forgotten that he's just driving 30mph home from work. It's nothing of earth-shattering importance. It's just a peaceful drive home from work with your air conditioning going and your radio playing.

The alternative sounds so nice and relaxing and fun. I guess there are people who just don't really relax and have fun. Though I've still yet to understand WHY they won't allow themselves what seems to be such a basic human desire.


I'm not trying to be all self-righteous here. I can get worked up over silly things too (usually stress related). But overall, I just don't understand! Why have a society built in such a way that negatively interacts with our instinctual responses to things (stress is important for avoiding danger and survival, but why do we put up with a societal construct that makes us constantly stressed? It's not necessary!)
 

Such Irony

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I work in a library where I deal with many customers a day and I see this too- people getting overly worked up over minor things. Someone has a 50 cent fine and they blow it way out of proportion. They can still check materials out as long as the fines are below $10. I guess it's the principle of the thing- people don't like being told they owe money. This is especially true when it's from a few years ago and they don't even remember ever checking out the item. Some get bent out of shape if we currently have the book they want in stock. There are thousands of books to choose from, there must be something else that will suit you.
 

Icarus

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I think that most of it is just transference from other areas of their life.
 

Lark

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I don't know where I'm going with this. It just seems so...interesting! And weird! I guess it's just how our brains are wired, but I dunno...are particular people happy very often? What real GOOD comes from cultivating drama?

:huh:

I dont think any to be honest, not at all, for the most part I think that there's a huge population of people who've got really poor skills when it comes to their emotional self-regulation and that pattern is spreading.

In some ways the paternalism of governments and consumerism of the marketplace feed it but people arent contented enough that they'll try and problem solve or seek solutions or have a solution focus, instead they catastrophise something serious, either because they think it will make soliciting help easier, make them interesting to others or worthy of attention.

There's a lot of frustration created by totally unreal expectations and feelings of entitlement too. I dont mean the trad feeling of entitlement, it was maybe easier when this was restricted to benefits and welfare and expectations about material things, now I feel as though too many people expect strangers to interact with them as though they were their parents or some kind of devotees.
 
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