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Thread: Please help this xNFP sort out reactions to an INTP friend (with bennies)

  1. #31
    half mystic, half skeksis Array jenocyde's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009


    Did you ever think that maybe HE felt used by YOU? Maybe all those nights you spent catering to his emotional needs showed a change in the way he thought you viewed the relationship. But you still kept dating that other guy and using him as your backup. You got your emo fix (which we all know you guys crave, even though you act like you're doing him a favor by "being up all night"), and he opened up and started depending on you - then you went right back to the other guy.

    You keep saying that you suspect various people are taking advantage of you. I think that's something to think about... projection, maybe?

    He's stupid for getting himself wrapped up in a game he doesn't know how to play. But you're delusional if you think that all of this is really just a game.

  2. #32
    Emerging Array Tallulah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Evan View Post
    He is worried about how attached he's getting so he's trying to reaffirm that he is not attached to you. But instead of realizing this and having a conversation, he's being passive aggressive. He's also jealous that you are dating other dudes so he's trying to make the footing "equal".
    This. I think he was starting to feel close to you, but he didn't know how to handle it. I agree with you that it probably would have been fine for him to say, "She's hot," rather than, "She's more my type than you," or "She's hotter than you." He didn't have to bring you into the equation at all, but the fact that he did shows he wasn't just business-as-usual when it came to your relationship. It could be that he was feeling close to you and wanted the sex and the emo support, but then when you invited him out, it felt like a "date," and he freaked and wanted to make sure you weren't going to be attached to him.

    It sounds like it's not working, regardless of the motivations, though.
    Something Witty

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