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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    That's so ironic though, isn't it? He is showing the most weakness in his ability to do his job right now. Surely he must see that he is neglecting things? It's not like he's stupid. I've juked out ideas with him in the past and made things happen. Now he just avoids my ideas or finds some excuse.

    I suppose it may seem he is treating me like I'm someone 'weaker', but I really hope he knows better and that the issue is something else. I at least would like to believe that in the past 8 years I have proven my value, and the sacrifices I have made did not go unnoticed. But if they did, yeah, probably better to move on then.
    Sounds in a way like a failing marriage. The marriage works great for a while, but then one day there’s an intangible shift in circumstances or attitude, and suddenly the old formula doesn’t work anymore. One partner is in deep denial, and the other partner is loaded down with an unfair burden and tearing his/her hair out.

    So maybe try to think in those terms when you confront your brother. (Any way you can engage a third party to act as “marriage counselor” between you two?) And accept the possibility that you may eventually have to seek a divorce. It may not be in your power to resolve whatever problems have led to your brother's shift in attitude. Shit happens, and you just have to cut your losses and walk away.

  2. #22
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Actually, plse nix my advice. I'm the worst person to give advice when it comes to an ENTP under stress.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    Actually, plse nix my advice. I'm the worst person to give advice when it comes to an ENTP under stress.
    I thought it was good advice. When there's a lot on the line, the best thing to do is just be honest. If the other person's in denial and can't handle it, then so be it. Not your fault.

  4. #24
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FineLine View Post
    I thought it was good advice. When there's a lot on the line, the best thing to do is just be honest. If the other person's in denial and can't handle it, then so be it. Not your fault.
    Thanks but this isn't just objective business. There's the underlying emotional aspect of siblings, where their father created an untenable situation for Fluffywolf, in that he put him at a major disadvantage with no ownership in the company. That his brother is an ENTP under stress just complicates it greatly and puts the situation way outside my expertise.

  5. #25
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    Thanks but this isn't just objective business. There's the underlying emotional aspect of siblings, where their father created an untenable situation for Fluffywolf, in that he put him at a major disadvantage with no ownership in the company. That his brother is an ENTP under stress just complicates it greatly and puts the situation way outside my expertise.
    I feel the same way - this thing is too icky to poke with a stick.

    Walk away, Fluff. Walk away.

    He'll be angry at first, but when the dust settles, he'll be willing to listen.

  6. #26
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Right now, this is where I'm at.

    The fact remains that this company is a two man job, since we're not very large, we can't oursource all of the front end work to employees, and quite frankly, I am awesome with customers, I never say too much, never too little, never brush wrong with any customer and always offer correct service while being capable of making all the descisions that need to be taken directly with all customers. Plus we do not have sufficient good employees to take on all the work and it's not easy finding the right people for the jobs that are capable of offering what we require.
    The competition is deadly, prices are way low, the government is harsh on the market, many competetors have already fallen, or been sold to bigger companies, whilest we still remain and working order, not very large, but offering unrivaled quality and service in our branche using a formula that requires us to both be part of the company, we have customers all over the country and a very good name. Wether or not me and my brother are in our element, this is something I am proud of and wouldn't want to see to go to waste.

    So ultimately, I think I am wanting to see this through for as long as possible. I just need to get my own head straight and feel like I am backing up my own position of what I am doing. So I won't be running around like a headless chicken in the future.

    But yeah, if there's no improvement sometime soon. I'll really have to cut my losses.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  7. #27
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    Quite true what everyone is saying about the messiness of the situation. But it’s precisely when things are messy and without neat guidelines that you most need honesty and good communication. That’s why I compared Fluffy’s situation to a marriage. Marriages tend not to have specific guidelines for how to handle conflict. You just muddle through, or you divorce. And in the end if you manage to muddle through, it’s probably because one or both of you were honest and communicated your needs, and maybe forced your partner to make a hard choice or two.

  8. #28
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Situation sounds dangerous and there will definitly be spilled some of your blood. But you need to tell him what you think, he needs new input to think about. And if he loves you, he'll think about what you tell him

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_coeA30NyPU"].[/YOUTUBE]
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  9. #29
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Ok, Fluff. Your only option is to just tell him that. Tell him, without being accusatory, that you are unhappy with the way things are going because you don't think you are communicating well. If he starts to get all huffy, don't push the conversation any further - he's not ready to listen. Just quietly start exploring other options.

    Be firm and under control, don't whine or hem and haw. I'm sure you can handle that, but if not, I can give you the same tips I gave my INTP to deal with uncomfortable or unpredictable situations.

  10. #30
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Being firm and under control is pretty natural to me, and I only ever whine in jest, but never in work situations. I am a proud owner of an unfillable bucket. :P

    I can cut the subject and see how he reacts.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

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