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  1. #51
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    I don't think any type is intrinsically more mushy than others. Merely Fe users wish to converge their ethical boundaries with one another; Fi users tend to prefer a 'standalone' approach; however, you will find Tertiary and Anima Fi users shun Fe massively, much like Tertiary and Anima Fe users shun Fi massively.

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    Ji always causes emotions to flare regardless of type.
    Yeah, I agree with you. I almost said "I'm only talking about Fi-dom or Fi-aux", as it seems a bit different with the others.

    I have an ENFP friend - her and I have become fairly close. After a couple months of interacting as friends, we were hanging out and as we were leaving each other I said, "How about a hug?" And she was all . She hugged me and she goes, "I don't mind hugging you at all, but most of the time and with most people I'm not romantic with, I want nothing to do with it." If she didn't want to hug, that would have been fine as I'm not Fe-dom, whereas an ENFJ might have been hurt by it. But, to me, as an Fe user, the hug is just a simple expression of "Hey, you're a good friend and I appreciate you. Thanks for spending the evening with me." It's like a more personable handshake - more meaningful - like "you're not just an acquaintance, you're a good friend" type thing.

    While I respect the Fi users not being comfortable with these kinds of things, it is sometimes hard to understand why it's considered threatening or uncomfortable. To the Fe user, it's just a nice gesture. Maybe Fi users associate the physical touch with something much more intimate - like they are giving the other person access to something very personal?
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


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  2. #52
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    ^ I know what you're trying to illustrate with the hugging example, and yeah, I suppose a hug is one of those social gestures associated with Fe. (? Is it? I don't really know) But it's not really as simple as that.. I mean, some people are just Hug People, others not. I think one of the biggest huggers I knew was a female ENTJ. Go figure! (maybe it's more tied to enneagram stuff? Dunno) Whereas I am not a very physically demonstrative person and never really initiate hugs -- unless I know the other person is a hugger and they've initiated in the past - and then I *might* do it, just because I know it'll make them feel good. But if by choice? Nah, I'd rather not. And I'm definitely not the first person who'd ever initiate. I'm one of those more stiff/unnatural huggers, lol.
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  3. #53
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    ^ I know what you're trying to illustrate with the hugging example, and yeah, I suppose a hug is one of those social gestures associated with Fe. (? Is it? I don't really know) But it's not really as simple as that.. I mean, some people are just Hug People, others not. I think one of the biggest huggers I knew was a female ENTJ. Go figure! (maybe it's more tied to enneagram stuff? Dunno) Whereas I am not a very physically demonstrative person and never really initiate hugs -- unless I know the other person is a hugger and they've initiated in the past - and then I *might* do it, just because I know it'll make them feel good. But if by choice? Nah, I'd rather not. And I'm definitely not the first person who'd ever initiate.
    I think when Ts hug it's more deliberate. "I like the positive stimulus I get when I hug someone and they like it to. there's really no negative effects of it, so why not do it all the time" whereas Fs are more likely to do it when they feel like it.
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  4. #54
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Yeah, I guess you're probably right. Maybe hugging wasn't a good example. I see a lot of INFJ's say they aren't huggers, at least not in public - so there goes my theory up in flames about Fe users being big huggers - lol. But, I guess the point being that Fe users tend to be more expressive of feelings, sentiments, etc. Whereas the Fi users keep it inside more (unless it's that really special someone). But, Fi-dom and Fi-aux are indeed very intense feelers of emotions and stuff. They feel very deeply. Yet, they find it strange/awkward when an Fe user comes along and expresses it. Hopefully it doesn't seem like I'm ripping on Fi users - not at all - just trying to understand the differences here.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  5. #55
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    Yeah, I guess you're probably right. Maybe hugging wasn't a good example. I see a lot of INFJ's say they aren't huggers, at least not in public - so there goes my theory up in flames about Fe users being big huggers - lol. But, I guess the point being that Fe users tend to be more expressive of feelings, sentiments, etc. Whereas the Fi users keep it inside more (unless it's that really special someone). But, Fi-dom and Fi-aux are indeed very intense feelers of emotions and stuff. They feel very deeply. Yet, they find it strange/awkward when an Fe user comes along and expresses it. Hopefully it doesn't seem like I'm ripping on Fi users - not at all - just trying to understand the differences here.
    it's not so much that we don't express it as much, the feelings are just more low energy to begin with. for instance, if you were crying, Fi might wrap you in a blanket and rub your back, Fe seems a little more high energy and "urgent" (does he need a drink? what's he crying about? it makes me wanna cry too can I comfort him at all? should I just leave him alone? no, I can't do that! I'll go get him that drink!). Fe also takes on the other person's feelings. I hate to admit it, but my first reaction when I see someone crying is "yay! a chance to bond with someone be affectionate!"
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  6. #56
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    ^ lol. i know what you mean though elfboy, i'm not at all upset by people in emotional distress, and i enjoy helping them out. it's not that i'm happy that they're upset - i wish they weren't - but i know that helping people in emotional distress is something i'm good at and i know that more than likely it will be a positive interaction for us both. i generally take it slowly in that situation also. i find that many people appreciate when you are simply accepting of them, especially because that is such a generally awkward social thing. i usually just politely ask them if they'd like me to stay or leave. and if they'd like me to stay, then i ask if there's anything i can do for them.

    love my ESFJ mom though i do, whenever i was upset as a child, she always would try to go and get things to help me and do things for me, when all i really would have liked was for her to sit with me and be emotionally supportive. i expressed that once and she told me she was surprised - and that it's hard for her to just sit with someone who's distressed. she wants to do things for them. i tried to explain that i don't need someone to do things for me - i'm perfectly capable - but i can't emotionally support myself when i'm distressed. my INTP dad would always just ignore me, which i didn't always mind. perhaps the whole experience is somewhat different for Fe/Ti.

    --

    anyway - ha, i'm weird about hugs, it totally depends on the "chemistry" between myself and the other person. there are some friends i am very comfortable hugging. hell, there are some strangers i'd be comfortable hugging. but some other friends, even though i have known them a long time - i just don't want to hug them at all. my good friend of 8 years now and i don't really make physical contact much at all, whereas my current best friend and i were up in each other's space within a month. i dunno what to make of it, besides it usually corresponds with psychological closeness. the closer i feel to someone psychologically, the more comfortable i am with physical contact with them. maybe it has to do with a subconscious sense of trust, i dunno.

    i think i know what you're getting at though, INTPness - when a Fi user initiates a hug, it's likely to be a spontaneous glee thing, or some deep emotional well. not to say that Fe users can't also do that, but oftentimes social exchanges, including hugs, have more of a sense of "currency" to them - more of a warm message of goodwill, as opposed to the Fi ZOMG YOUUU. like you said - like a handshake. though INFJs, i don't know if i've ever seen any of the INFJs i know hug someone, lol.

    but i think it also depends a lot on your family and culture. i have a huge half-italian family and they generally like to hug all over each other, regardless of whether you've seen them in the past 17 years or even can remember how they're related to you, so it's something i've learned to tolerate even from near-strangers

  7. #57
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    it's not so much that we don't express it as much, the feelings are just more low energy to begin with. for instance, if you were crying, Fi might wrap you in a blanket and rub your back, Fe seems a little more high energy and "urgent" (does he need a drink? what's he crying about? it makes me wanna cry too can I comfort him at all? should I just leave him alone? no, I can't do that! I'll go get him that drink!). Fe also takes on the other person's feelings. I hate to admit it, but my first reaction when I see someone crying is "yay! a chance to bond with someone be affectionate!"
    INFP/ISFP feelings are low energy? I thought their feelings/emotions were very intense. Maybe more intense with someone very dear to them. Maybe less intense with "regular people"?
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  8. #58
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    INFP/ISFP feelings are low energy? I thought their feelings/emotions were very intense. Maybe more intense with someone very dear to them. Maybe less intense with "regular people"?
    yes, it's true that they can be very intense, just not most of the time. even then, these periods are usually brief. I can't speak for the rest of Fi users, but for me, it's usually not strong "emotion" so to speak as much as just sheer, passionate "I need to do this". my neuroticism is practically 0 though, so I think it's more related to that.
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  9. #59
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    at the same time, there is a strong sense of closeness/bond with certain people and strong feelings of love, but even these are usually more low energy.
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  10. #60
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    yes, it's true that they can be very intense, just not most of the time. even then, these periods are usually brief. I can't speak for the rest of Fi users, but for me, it's usually not strong "emotion" so to speak as much as just sheer, passionate "I need to do this". my neuroticism is practically 0 though, so I think it's more related to that.
    I see. Interesting.

    @skylights: Thanks for the input. *Hugs you (whether you like it or not)*. Haha.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

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