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  1. #11
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    I think Ni doms can be mistrustful in general, INTJs more so than INFJs. It's known as the "Ni paranoia."

  2. #12
    Junior Member DocRox27's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    If I could just jump right in here...perhaps the problem lays more in a lack of understanding or respect than more of a lack of compatibility. If each one knew where the other were coming from, each person could break the cycle. They could 'take turns' looking out for each other's needs. I know that sounds really lame, but what I mean is: if the INTJ knows that the ESFP isn't doing it to be an insecure dumb ass, but has certain reasons, maybe he/she could respect it more. Then it wouldn't be seen as encroaching on personal space and trying to be dominant or overwhelming or whatever. And the ESFP could see that actually it's not that the INTJ doesn't feel or care, but they just don't express it the same way....That way, both know it's not them or some weird voo-doo thing, but there's some reason for it, and they can respond/act accordingly?
    This works in theory, but it's easier said than done. It doesn't eliminate the need for attention on the ESFP's part or the need for seclusion on the INTJ's part. The whole "taking turns" might work well for a schedule minded INTJ, but from my experience, if the ESFP has a sudden urge for attention from INTJ, the schedule must be broken or distress will follow. That's when the INTJ either sinks further into his/herself or grudgingly gives in to the ESFP's needs.

    Although, sometimes giving in can be a good thing, as the INTJ can actually have a good time and get away from his complicated little world for a little while.

    I do like the idea though. =]

  3. #13
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    You know what I hate? People distrusting me when I'm the most honest, loyal person in the whole joint. HOW is that??? I wonder if it comes from that. And then at the end of the day, they find out I'm the only half-human out there. And they're shocked. DOH!

    Sorry, still getting used to the new layout. That was supposed to be a response to Orange.
    It's a similar thing with Si/Ne (either attracted like magnets or repelled as opposites), but Si-doms seem less paranoid than Ni-doms, IMO.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    I think Ni doms can be mistrustful in general, INTJs more so than INFJs. It's known as the "Ni paranoia."
    I won't disagree with that , but somehow it seems more pronounced when directed at Se-doms.

    In the same way, Te-doms can admittedly rub me the wrong way. I have to work against an immediate bias I want to form....
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  4. #14
    Supreme High Commander Andy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DocRox27 View Post
    It seems to me that attraction between these two types could very well be destructive, yet the polar functions make attraction something difficult to avoid.

    Maybe I'm crazy.
    Here's and example of a potential conflict between the two:

    ESFP desires physical (not necessarily sexual) affection, and a lack there of leads to spontaneous overwhelming anxiety in the blink of an eye. INTJ has trouble relating to such an intense emotion. In response, INTJ runs to hide... he is safer in his own world. This leads to even less physical contact, leading to more anxiety for the ESFP, scaring the INTJ away even more.

    Each type tries to understand why the other is acting the way they do, but they just can't relate.

    I would like to hear what people think about the compatibility of INTJ's and ESFP's.
    Pro's and Con's.
    It's the same basic problem as with any two types that have the same four concious functions in reverse order, each primarily lives in the zone the other usually surpresses, but can secretlky rather enjoy. While that's greate for getting someone to explore a side of themsleves they would normally ignore (which can lead to a more healthy mind) they are also in constant danger of overwhelming each other. A large potentially exists for such relationships to be rather up and down, but that's not to say that they can't work. My own partents are ESTP and INFJ, also such opposites.
    Don't make whine out of sour grapes.

  5. #15
    Junior Member DocRox27's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy View Post
    It's the same basic problem as with any two types that have the same four concious functions in reverse order, each primarily lives in the zone the other usually surpresses, but can secretlky rather enjoy. While that's greate for getting someone to explore a side of themsleves they would normally ignore (which can lead to a more healthy mind) they are also in constant danger of overwhelming each other. A large potentially exists for such relationships to be rather up and down, but that's not to say that they can't work. My own partents are ESTP and INFJ, also such opposites.
    Oh I'm sure any two types with opposing functions would be the same way in different manners. It's really quite amazing when you sit and think about inverse functions in such a close relationship. I mean, it could be seen as a complimentary relationship, but it could also be seen as a conflicting relationship.

    Forgive me for being blunt, but I took quite a few shots while I was preparing dinner... Are your parents still together?

    Edit: Judging by your grammar/type I would say you might be slightly intoxicated as well? If not, I'm sorry. =P

  6. #16
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DocRox27 View Post
    Oh I'm sure any two types with opposing functions would be the same way in different manners. It's really quite amazing when you sit and think about inverse functions in such a close relationship. I mean, it could be seen as a complimentary relationship, but it could also be seen as a conflicting relationship.

    Forgive me for being blunt, but I took quite a few shots while I was preparing dinner... Are your parents still together?

    Edit: Judging by your grammar/type I would say you might be slightly intoxicated as well? If not, I'm sorry. =P
    Aha! Drunken posting. My favorite pasttime.
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  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by DocRox27 View Post
    I would like to hear what people think about the compatibility of INTJ's and ESFP's.
    Totally incompatible. All the ESFP I know: we can communicate on an acquaintance level, but that's about it.

    The last party I attended an ESFP wanted me. But somehow it was just so boring. She was sexy and all that, but there was just no chemistry.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by fragrance View Post
    Totally incompatible. All the ESFP I know: we can communicate on an acquaintance level, but that's about it.

    The last party I attended an ESFP wanted me. But somehow it was just so boring. She was sexy and all that, but there was just no chemistry.
    This makes me think of how I typically eventually feel about ISTJs, even ones who seem cute or sophisticated. One little letter change away from the INTJs who fascinate me, can magically lead me into a world of insane, soul-crushing boredom.

  9. #19
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    This makes me think of how I typically eventually feel about ISTJs, even ones who seem cute or sophisticated. One little letter change away from the INTJs who fascinate me, can magically lead me into a world of insane, soul-crushing boredom.
    Really? Everyone fascinates me to some extent. Especially those who are vastly different from myself. I imagine I could watch videos of people's boring, day to day lives all day long and never get bored. People's thought processes never cease to amaze me.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
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    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
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  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    Really? Everyone fascinates me to some extent. Especially those who are vastly different from myself.
    Even if I'm initially attracted to an ISTJ (which I have been), I eventually become so bored by them and feel so disconnected from them mentally that I just have no interest what-so-ever. In fact, I've noticed on-line they don't fascinate me at all, and are boring right away, even if they're nice, because any physical pretense has been removed, as have offerings of wine, dinner, et al.

    It might be partially due to the fact that my grandfather, who pretty much raised me as my father figure, was ISTJ. I don't know.

    I'm not saying that I feel bored because of the difference between N/S...because that's not true. If that were true I wouldn't have been with an ESFJ for five years.

    I think it's because we're total opposites. I don't know. I just don't want any of it, I don't care what kind of cologne they're wearing, no sir.

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