How do other NTs deal with extreme emotional stress/being hurt/upset?
I find that for the most part, I'm pretty emotionally neutral. However, when I'm extremely upset or sad I don't know what to effing do. I cannot function. It takes over my mind, it clutters my thoughts, and it ruins my day completely. I lose my appetite, which is one way I know I'm upset. Half the time I'm upset I only know because people tell me I'm being a downer, it's like I unintentionally ruin everyone else's day because I'm distraught. I'm trying to learn how to control it, I need to find a middle ground.
That's inferior Fe for you. I'm another INTP and I relate alot to what you say.
5w6 or 9w1 sp/so/sx, I think
Upset is one thing. Upset is not an explosion, it is usually what you said, I just can't stop thinking about things and I don't know what the best thing to do is. I usually just get to a place where I forgive them so I am balanced again.
It takes a lot to get me to the point of exploding. It's not pretty. I usually feel better and can process things. If it was a relationship, even family, it usually precipitates that we're going to break off for a while, years, or maybe even for good (or so I think at that time).
I just can't deal with emotional drama and problems all the time, I can't function.
I have a few of those a year. It's not pretty. I get a bit childish and violent. But then it feels really good to let go sometimes, just not at whom you let it go to. Sometimes when reason doesn't get through to people, you have to let the insults fly high.
I was in a group project (uggghhg) and my group members consisted of a ISFP and an ESFP leader. The ISFP didn't really care, but the ESFP was a complete moron. I would be very clear and appropriately nice in mentioning possible problems with the gameplan (it was to make a video) such as technical and aesthetics (I've been an editor for 6 years and she's never edited anything before), but the ESFP would just do w/e because that's the way she felt and it would annoy the hell out of me because they weren't listening to valid arguments nor replying to them. I was ignored, even though I would give verbal/written backslaps on their poorly planned agenda, and I was still ignored. Finally, I just told her, the TA, and the teacher that I thought the project out loud. It wasn't an explosion, but it was definitely something I normally wouldn't say in public.
Moral of the story:
Don't work with ESFP/ESFJ leaders. I didn't have a choice.
I go through things like this once or twice a year. I lose my appetite as well and find it difficult sleep at night... even if I do, I keep waking up in the middle of the night every 2 hours or so. I also tend to snap at people more often. More often than not I just cry into my pillows - I think it's healthier for me to deal with my negative emotions than to try to avoid them and let them fester inside. I do feel better after a good cry. Crying helps me accept my emotions as they are. It's quite cathartic.
Usually, after I've grieved over the cause of my unhappiness/sadness/anger etc. I am ready to move on and adjust my life as I see fit. There is no looking back after I'm done grieving - I will cry over and over again (at night) until my hurt finds a resolution. So far this kind of emotional periods have not lasted over a week, so that's good. I have accepted that unless I've truly grieved over my losses, I will not be able to be at peace - not for long.
Enneagram: 5w4 5-9-2 (5w4 9w1 2w1) sp/so
"Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience." - Greg King
The worst mistake people make in political arguments is assuming that the other side is not trying to do the right thing. This simple oversight makes productive conversation nearly impossible.
I don't think I've ever displayed any sort of external emotional outburst, as I tend to be pretty stoic in my expressions. When I'm at my emotional breaking point I tend to just recede further into my own little isolation chamber and introspect, all while trying to maintain my outer facade composure as best as I possibly can. Only select family members who know me very well can tell when I'm truly bothered by something, as I tend to be able to continue functioning semi-normally, only appearing to others as distracted or engrossed in thought.