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  1. #11
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    From the sounds of it, I too agree that your coworkers don't understand the term passive-aggressiveness.

    But what I do find strange is why you feel you should be directive. Within most work places, people have designated job descriptions. If people aren't doing their job, management should be handling everything. In organising people and ensuring the job gets done, you're in essence hiding their incompetence and if you notice, no one's thanking you for it either.

    Back off and do your job. Beyond that, let the chips fall where they may.

  2. #12
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    More than anything, it's a misunderstanding of the term "passive aggressive." Forcing people to agree with you (whether you were or not) is not passive aggression at all. Passive aggressive would be if you gave them the silent treatment until they agreed with you, or if you mussed their desks in retaliation but they never saw nor knew it was you. Or if you just refused to come to meetings led by somebody you don't like, but never said why you refused to go.

    (thanks accidental trackpad input....now for the rest)

    As an ENTJ, I've certainly been called a lot of things, but never passive aggressive.

  3. #13
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    Nah, I'm pretty sure you're being openly controlling.

    INTJs tend to be more passive-aggressive in my experience. Though I'm not saying they all are. I just mean in contrast to ENTJs, who are either awesome or overbearing...I don't know what it is. I either love them to pieces or think they're trying to hard too dominate others and often being a little too presumptuous that they are "correct."

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Knuckles View Post
    More than anything, it's a misunderstanding of the term "passive aggressive." Forcing people to agree with you (whether you were or not) is not passive aggression at all. Passive aggressive would be if you gave them the silent treatment until they agreed with you, or if you mussed their desks in retaliation but they never saw nor knew it was you. Or if you just refused to come to meetings led by somebody you don't like, but never said why you refused to go.

    (thanks accidental trackpad input....now for the rest)

    As an ENTJ, I've certainly been called a lot of things, but never passive aggressive.
    Yes, the silent treatment is very passive aggressive. So is presuming that people should know "why" you did this or that, and becoming annoyed with them for misunderstanding your intentions, even though you never bothered to explain yourself or talk it out.

  5. #15
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    I have yet to meet an ENTJ who is even close to passive-aggressive. ENTJs are much more upfront and direct. You strike me as an ENTJ.

    There are a couple of possibilities here:
    1. Person is not used to your style yet. You need to be more verbose about what you are doing and what you want done. Explain it better and keep explaining till they understand. Look for cues of acknowledgement or just ask, "That makes sense, right?".

    2. This person has it in for you. Chalk it up to office politics if you want. The person has a type that is clashing with yours (authoritative) or just wants your job or just wants you out. Whatever the reason, you need to deal with it.

  6. #16
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bcubchgo View Post
    It's happened to me. if you are direct it's "aggression" - not passive aggression.
    Reminds me of an actual conversation I've had with someone

    Him: "You are being passive aggressive"
    Me: "No, I am being very upfront aggressive".
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  7. #17
    Senior Member htb's Avatar
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    They chide in the name of diplomacy, but some critics accuse me of not being passive aggressive enough.

  8. #18
    Junior Member Satan's Avatar
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    My best friend is an ENTJ and the only thing i can think of as "passive aggressive" is if you misunderstands his confidence.

    If he asks "what do you think of this?", then it's like a silent understanding that if you don't agree with his opinion you will get into serious trouble. But it's really just a question.
    “Truly great madness can not be achieved without significant intelligence.”

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