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View Poll Results: What role are you usually in a meeting , group activity?

44. You may not vote on this poll
  • The Leader

    9 20.45%
  • The Extroverted Whore

    3 6.82%
  • the outlaw/resistance

    1 2.27%
  • the arguer/challenger

    2 4.55%
  • the Critic

    9 20.45%
  • the Yes Man

    0 0%
  • the rule abider

    0 0%
  • the Sweet Talker

    1 2.27%
  • The Silent One

    5 11.36%
  • The Mediator

    4 9.09%
  • Other

    10 22.73%
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Thread: What role do you usually play in group?

  1. #31
    Senior Member Array wildcat's Avatar
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    Jun 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by YWIR View Post
    Well, when I come in, I usually sit there, silently, for the first 30 minutes, listen to people/give their ideas, nod, and write down what they say; basically, just allowing them to voice their opinions and ideas.

    Then I take over.

    Nothing I hate more than an extroverted whore and a sweet talker during group meetings. The only thing that can redeem them is their actual work output.
    Leave the extroverted whore and the sweet talker alone.
    Do your own work.

  2. #32
    No Array Thalassa's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    6w7 sx
    SEE Fi


    I change depending on the group. I'm either a challenger/arguer if I care, or a silent rule follower if I just want to be left the hell alone.

    Then sometimes at birthday parties I try to get six mini-tops spinning at once, toss balloons in the air, pick up the cats and pet them, dart mysteriously in and out of the room, and smile and answer politely to anyone who tries to talk to me, confirming to just about everyone that I am a harmless village idiot.

    Boy aren't they suprised if I turn into the challenger/arguer. However, it's more likely that I'll simply offer to help clear the table or... just disappear.
    "Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul." - Edward Abbey

    SEE-Fi /Gamma

  3. #33
    lab rat extraordinaire Array CrystalViolet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    5w4 sx/sp


    I seem to be the outlaw an awful lot. Sort of. Or The questioner....I always seem to be on the wrong side of things anyway. People tend to look at me as though I'm a threat and a challenger...usurper to thier authority. Makes me sad, that does.
    I think people take the silent one the wrong way at times.
    I'm often the dark horse too. The one people underestimate.
    I'm also, if every one sees eye to eye, the enthusiatic motivator, mediator, warm fuzzy feeling giver and general builder upper, and bond builder.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Array animenagai's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008


    I'm the extroverted whore, but I feel like the term 'attention whore' is just used by people who don't really know me. I hate silence, I hate not feeling part of the group, I hate not being able to externalise my thoughts, I hate feeling inept because I have nothing to contribute. I'm sure a lot of people think I'm an attention whore. I think I'm pretty much the most talkative person in every social group I'm in. Is it because I like attention though? Do I actually like all eyes being on me? No I don't, or at least, I don't crave it. What people don't understand is that when you talk as much as I do, I just become part of the general buzz. When you're quiet and decide to finally say something, everyone stops and looks at you. That doesn't happen with me, surely if I was really an attention whore I would go with that sort of tactic instead. Haters be hating.
    Chimera of Filth

    A gruesome beast with dripping flesh
    Clings to me as a sick fixture
    My throbbing heart it gnawed apart
    It stalks and hunts me through mirrors

  5. #35
    i love Array skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    6w7 so/sx
    EII Ne


    i am not surprised to see many NT leaders and critics

    personally if i had a stereotype, it would be Second-In-Charge.

    i do not have a desire to be the sole leader, but i enjoy and am very useful in an elevated position (vice president, officer, whatever). i'm dedicated and attentive, but prefer to act in a more supportive, reflective, guiding role, rather than a directing one. i like to keep an eye on the group as a whole, the overall atmosphere of the room and the tone of the discussion, and speak up in a way that manipulates the atmosphere/tone if the group would benefit from it. i have a hard time predicting group dynamics, but i'm good at keeping an eye on 1-to-1 relationships, and seeing if there's any tension between people, in particular the leader and each person. i also usually play the role of helping voices get heard that otherwise might not.

    generally the nature of my own participation depends on how much competency in the subject area i have... if i'm very competent, then i will offer many suggestions and try to provide guidance. i will be quieter if not. i am generally congenial, but if i disagree strongly with something on ethical grounds, then i will not hesitate to challenge it.

  6. #36
    Courage is immortality Array Valiant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    8w7 sx/so


    Almost all of the above, to be honest. But I prefer to be the leader, if I am competent enough.
    Naturally, because of my age, I am not always the most competent for such things while working or studying. There I can take on another approach in order to learn.
    Sometimes other than that, too. Then I go into any of the other modes.

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  7. #37
    Senior Member Array guesswho's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010


    7 group leaders. Seriously? ENTPs INTPs INTJs aren't exactly group leaders. ENTPs and INTPs don't care, and the INTJ is too busy telling the group leader what a big fucking idiot he is

    This is most of the time. ENTPs for instance can be group leaders, but only when there's fun involved. Otherwise...naah..

  8. #38
    Klingon Warrior Princess Array Patches's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    6w5 sp/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    My role changes depending on the group.

    Also, it depends on the subject matter. If we're talking about something related to academics, and a grade....
    -If there is no apparent leader, I can and will assume the position of leader even though I don't like to.
    -If the leader appears incompetent, I will feed ideas and courses of action to the leader... Usually convincing them that they came up with the idea themselves. I prefer this "Silent Leader" role.
    -I can very much assume the role of 'Control Freak', taking on the majority of the work and responsibility myself if I don't trust my partners to do an adequate job.

    If the group is unrelated to academics/grades, I don't assume any sort of leadership/control freak position at all. I'll sit back and follow orders.
    “Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside
    them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.” -Neil Gaiman


  9. #39
    Senor Membrane Array
    Join Date
    May 2008


    I voted mediator, but it isn't that simple. The way I am a mediator is my mostly non-verbal participation. I find that in any group, my presence seems to help people get along, even if I don't attempt that. I guess it is mostly because I don't try to impress anyone by having something cool to say. So, when I don't play the game, other people feel more at ease to not play so hard either.

    My other role is some philosopher type of a thing. This is only when the group is interested in these things. This is maybe the most active role I have. And then there's the drunken lunatic role, which is seemingly supercharged Ne bouncing around. I'm not even sure if this is a healthy role, but I sometimes need it to release steam.

    EDIT: Oh, this was NT stuff. Sorry about messing up the poll....

  10. #40
    .~ *aĉa virino* ~. Array Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    549 sx/sp
    LII Ni


    Quote Originally Posted by Stigmata View Post
    The silent, yet watchful saboteur.
    *watching you*

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    I'm very similar, and I think it's common for NTPs to play against the group. Maybe it's for balance, maybe it's to form an identity, but I tend to go against whatever the group is thinking. With liberals I'm conservative; with conservatives I'm liberal; with scientists I'm mystical; mystical with scientists; analytical with bores; show restraint when people are overthinking, etc, etc.
    I typically experience it as more of the balance (and I guess overall that would make me a Balancer? ha!)... but seriously, I guess I scan the group, see where the holes are, and try to fill them so that the group functions as fully as possible.

    The "identity" nod, though, is worth exploring in more detail. Why do we even have these roles at all? What happens when we can't fulfill our roles? What level of gratification comes from fulfilling our roles, and disappointment from not being able to fulfill them? There's likely some sort of positive strokes that occur when we find a place where we feel we "fit" and function and contribute, and it reinforces/mirrors our own sense of self.

    When I think I am primarily a balancer (which ends up making me a jack of all trades type), identity does play some sort of role in my experience of group and potentially in my having to distinguish myself in some unique way within the group. When I can't do this, I experience my role as unnecessary (the utilitarian/balancing aspect) but also feel like I have become faceless (the identity aspect), and I typically lose some level of interest in the group and might go elsewhere where I feel I have more of a niche to fill. I've found in a community setting that I really need to both (1) fulfill a need and (2) be recognized as a unique individual in order to remain invested in the group.

    With liberals I'm conservative; with conservatives I'm liberal; with scientists I'm mystical; mystical with scientists; analytical with bores; show restraint when people are overthinking, etc, etc.
    yeah, all that. Around the thinkers, I seem emotive; around emotives, vice versa. Around concretes, I'm intuitive; around intuives, I preach grounding. Around religious folks, I seem to be the unbeliever; around unbelievers, I'm the mystic. And so on.

    (Although it can be kind of disconcerting to be labeled as one by the other and vice versa, and thus not really have any faction that can be called one's own.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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