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  1. #11
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    What signs do you use to measure attitude?
    Are they scowling at me? That one is usually a give away! Iunno, reading people's moods and therefore attitudes is easy for me, they wear it on their face, in their voice and in their posture and gestures. Even if someone is masking their true feelings it's easy to see, and most people don't attempt to mask them.


    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    To give my perspective-I rarely will assume an individual is to blame, almost always assuming that people inherently will do their best or lack sufficient information or knowledge, if performance is lacking. (Note: yeah, totally being idealistic about people).
    My assumption is people are fallible, my other assumption however, unless we've been here before, is that they are not screwing up deliberately or without cause.


    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    Once I do realize a particular person is screwing things up knowingly, my tendency will be to pull them aside and say "Hey, I realize you are working really hard (Fi), but I have noticed there are several things not getting taken care of.(Te)"
    Don't see how that's Fi-Te, I'd use the same approach myself, it's simply a matter of the approach that would get the best outcome, embarrassing someone in front of others will be met with resistance. In a work situation we're not there to spoon feed people but for an environment to be pleasant and therefore productive people need to be given an opportunity to explain things... then not do it again. When reprimanding someone I try to begin on a positive, move towards the negative then end on a mutual positive we've agreed on, I don't want to sap their motivation.


    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    If at that point they try and raise environmental concerns, I will interpret it as making excuses, as I have already spent a great deal of time thinking about reasons environmentally that would have prevented them from completing the task. If I am called out on my lack of accountability, then I would tend to discuss no environmental concerns at all, feeling my own self to be making excuses, but totally take responsibility and do better the next time.
    Excuses are often the first thing that come out of the mouth of someone caught doing the wrong thing, their poor timing doesn't invalidate them, if an environmental issue is being blamed as part of the reason then I would do everything within my power to remove that issue so they could never blame it again, therefore if the same situation arises again they would be in the shit. It would be made clear that their "excuse" will be removed so pull your thumb out and do what you're supposed to.

  2. #12
    A window to the soul
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    I, being a ridiculous enfp, will do everything I can not to assign blame to a specific individual, and instead point blame at either entire groups, management of groups, procedures or problems with the logistics of the group.

    I explained to my entp best buddy that when she highlights a specific person, it either feels like she is talking trash or is "throwing someone under the bus". After a fifteen minute convo explaining what "throwing somebody under the bus" meant, I realized it was highly likely my ENTP had "thrown me under the bus" on occasion based upon her slightly nervous expression. This makes me giggle and I still love her.
    ^ Orobas I know you mean well, but your generalizations (i.e., xNTP's, Fi-Te) don't make any sense, nor do I identify. Have you studied the cognitive functions? Here's a quasi-definition for Fe (xNTP)... "Extraverted Feeling relies on the outward, left-brain criteria of custom and law to mark off decisions that go beyond our immediate experience to affect the larger community." (source)

    Fe (xNTP) is left brained and logical. Fi (xNFP) is right brained and value driven. (source)

    I don't think it's reasonable to say that an xNTP is more likely to throw you under a bus than an xNFP. Does it sound logical to say that since you assume your xNTP co-worker threw you under a bus (based on her facial expressions towards you), then you as an xNFP might make an emotional-based decision to throw her under a bus if your feelings get hurt in the future? (...because for whatever reason it appears you would rather assume & generalize, than just be direct and ask your co-worker the pertinent questions.) For instance, did you ask your co-worker/friend if she threw you under a bus?? I'm not understanding your assumptions that she did just because she's xNTP and looked at you funny; that's not logical and I don't relate. Maybe I misunderstood you.

    Edit: Are the 'greater goals' from directly and candidly communicating with folks 'at work' not clear? If they're not and something is bothering you, it's best to face it directly to resolve it. Don't be afraid to define the boundaries and speak up when it counts.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    Don't see how that's Fi-Te,
    ^ It's not. (It's not reasonable to assume the attitudes/behaviors are uniquely Fi-Te xNFP.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    Don't see how that's Fi-Te, I'd use the same approach myself, it's simply a matter of the approach that would get the best outcome, embarrassing someone in front of others will be met with resistance. In a work situation we're not there to spoon feed people but for an environment to be pleasant and therefore productive people need to be given an opportunity to explain things... then not do it again. When reprimanding someone I try to begin on a positive, move towards the negative then end on a mutual positive we've agreed on, I don't want to sap their motivation.
    ^ I'm with you on that.

  3. #13
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    I don't waste time with blame; unless I'm trying to teach you something to help you. I may not sugar coat that for your listening pleasure. I don't really care how much someone screws up as long as they see where we're at and where we need to be. I'm quiet long enough to hear you out, but I'm almost always ready to leave screw-ups in the forgotten past where they're destined to be along with other obstacles. Tell me something brilliant and constructive. Let's move onward and upwards. Venting is bonding sure, as long as you are listening & responding positively to my moving past this. Again, we all know what we did, we all know what we need to do, let's move on.

    As for people complaining, I'm not really focused on you and your complaining or my own headaches... I'm tuning you out once you start to repeat yourself or get too emo and nonsensical. I gotta focus on how we can move past this as quickly as possible at that point. I want to work together to achieve xyz goals. That's my passion. In that way I'm very selfish. Call that fake, but I know what needs to be done, I'll flex enough to cut through the BS to make it happen. Resistance is futile.
    The bolded part is one of the great appeals that ENTPs have for me. If left to my own devices I can sit and wallow in guilt, self-pity, blame, whatever, until galaxies collide. Having someone who thinks so differently from me in regard to this really does help me to get out of emo mode much faster. Not that I don't still have my moments when I need to have them, but their rate of occurance is much less.

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