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Thread: "I love you"?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Butterfly's Avatar
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    Default "I love you"?

    When an INTP says "I Love You". How serious is it? Can they be just flirting or players? Or is it the real deal?

  2. #2
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/relationships/

    You have started three threads in the NT Rationale about relationships in the past week or so.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Butterfly's Avatar
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    Oops...sorry.
    Seeing that Im ENFP, I dont really read the rules that much, nor follow them.
    OK..how do i get rid of this thread or move it to relationships??
    thanks
    Last edited by Butterfly; 03-16-2008 at 04:44 PM. Reason: But on hindsight, I DO want to know ONLY about INTP saying those words...so technically Im not wrong. :)

  4. #4
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Don't worry about it. To answer your question, I think when an INTP says I love you, an INTP means it. The subject of love isn't tossed around lightly with those folks.

  5. #5
    Senior Member bluebell's Avatar
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    If you're the same person who's just posted this question on INTPc, you might want to give the context. Just sayin'.

  6. #6
    Member Judous's Avatar
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    "An INTP characterized falling in love as a stage of complete loss of rationality that may last a year or less. When an INTP falls in love, he or she falls hard - an all or nothing phenomenon. At this stage"

    This info comes from

    INTP - The Wizard

  7. #7
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Lets see.

    INTP - thinks about words and meaning a lot (too much), but also predisposed to social awkwardness with weak Fe and high introversion. When I've considered saying I love you to people, it's been either one of 2 situations: one, I feel extremely connected to the person; two, I feel very intense, but it's a mix of attraction and anxiety. The words become a tool to help a person conquer (maybe attenuate) their own anxiety and insecurity. It's not always the case the the second is mixed with anxiety, but it's true for me, and I don't really know anything else. (boo fucking hoo, Edahn)

    One is feeling LOVE, one is being IN LOVE. They're different, even though we use the same words. One is a feeling of closeness that you'd have with a best friend that you love, another is something more akin to lust.

    The way to tell the difference, I'd think, would be to examine other cues of cognition and emotion aside from the meaning of his words: body language, word choice, rhythm of speech, and quality of humor/creativity. You have to be perceptive/empathic to pick up on the cues, though. Does he look like he's trying hard, or not?

    (BTW, since this thread is about INTPs only, we can keep it here for now, but if it broadens beyond type, I/someone'll move it.)

  8. #8
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    I personally would not use the words "I love you" lightly at all.
    The thing is, this probably has to do with a lot more than being an INTP.
    I'd chock it up to me being an Instinctual IPS, rather than the fact that I'm an INTP.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  9. #9
    Senior Member Priam's Avatar
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    I'd just say "ditto" to all the comments above. I'm more likely to run away from the emotion than pretend it.
    "The subject chooses to sit in shadow and search for wisdom by reflecting upon his trial. The problem is not that he is cold and wet, but that cold and wet seems problematic, so he embraces those hardships in order to best them."

  10. #10
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    The character of the particular INTP would obviously come into play. One of good character would be unlikely to say it unless they really meant it, but they might say it if you said it to them first in order to avoid conflict.

    FWIW, my INTP partner told me he loved me way sooner than I thought possible, but he was definitely sincere and he also turned out to be right.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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