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  1. #31
    figsfiggyfigs
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    I like coffee dates, especially if the man is shy. Nothing better than getting somone all hyper and allowing them to talk for a while. While the date should start over coffee, it shouldn't end there. Have something waiting on the back burner for whether we hit it off or not.

    The best way to impress an ENTJ (or woman for that matter) is to take them out of their familiar routine, and show competency. Like, if the ENTJ never goes to dance, take them to dance, take the lead, and make them look good doing it.

    Then take them to desert to talk about how fun the night was.

    IMO at least.
    Thats actually a good suggestion TG

  2. #32
    Senior Member MoneyTick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YWIR View Post
    See, I dont even do the whole game thing. I skip right past that. I'm extremely future oriented, hate games, and like plans. I would've decided "where is this going" before even dating. Sounds weird. But I need to know if the person thinks/shares the same plans as I before deciding/bothering to invest myself/time in them. This is also a reason why I don't "date" often. I have high expectations. I need to build some sort of friendship first, get to know the person as a friend, no sexual expectations; a healthy, unromantic foundation. I will not put in any effort past the amount a friend is supposed to be putting in, unless they're worth it, and I know they're going to do the exact same. Does this person want the same things I do? Are they willing to work as hard as me? What am I investing in? I have plans/goals, how will they fit into that? Am I willing to risk things for this individual?

    I've been told that I'm idealistic, my expectations are high. For that, I don't care much.



    I'd probably prefer to go for icecream...

    Coffee breath is not attractive, and movies are more of a " I already know you, so we can get some quite time without it being awkward" appropriate.
    I concur.

    Complete lack of interest in pursuing a committed relationship contravenes the basic functions of human psychology. When behavior is directed against any natural mode of psychological functioning, an array of problems transpire.

    I've known tons of people who played the field and got more ass than a toilet seat, only to end up chronically depressed. My college buddy thrived on women. His charm would suck in any skeptically conservative girl without resistance. After so many short term affairs, he became suicidal and who knows where his depression led him now. Hmmm. This harmonizes with the latest federal report on sexuality ever conducted by the government which states that sexually active high schoolers are 50 percent more prone to drop out of school and 60 percent more liable to be expelled. They are also half as likely to graduate from college. Even among teens from identical socio-economic backgrounds, sexual activity dramatically hurts academic performance. Sexually active college students, living out the dramas of making and breaking sexual relationships, have lower grade-point averages than their chaste peers, they seek counseling more often and are more apt to consider their relationships stressful.

    In other words, our minds subconsciously pursue emotional equilibrium by virtue of seeking out meaningful and long-term relationships. Hence, your friend doesn't have an expiration date - a friend is assumed to remain a friend long-term. Your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't have an expiration date - they are assumed to be part of your life, long-term, until something unforeseen terminates the relationship. A marriage does not have a separation ceremony nor are divorce terms asserted on the day of the wedding - it is assumed that a marriage will last long-term, unless it is terminated sooner by something unforeseen.

    These "assumptions" are subconscious psychological thought processes that gravitate towards committed relationships.

    When such assumptions are absent, you sabotage a key psychological thought process (emotions activate certain chemicals in your brain that influence thought patterns thereafter returning signal by activating certain neurotransmitters which leads to a semi-permanent thought cycle deadlock). This leads to a chronic cycle of depression, emptiness, and complete lack of motivation.

    The foregoing is the reasoning behind my goal to pursue committed relationships and limit playing the field.
    got chaos?

  3. #33
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    How do you know when you love someone?
    As usual, the question of "what is love?" crosses my mind and for the life of me, I have no idea anymore. But in the past, I just knew.

    Do you treat them any differently than you treat everyone else?
    Absolutely. Time, effort, patience, a willingness to compromise to come to solutions and resolutions.

    How do you feel (yes, feel) around them?
    TMI time!
    Highly sexual, comfortable, moments of soaring happiness, intensity, connection, respect, trust. You aren't me but we're together and happy.

    How hard was it for you to get over them?
    That varied.

    As far as working closely with a partner, this wouldn't end well. Business and personal don't mix unless it's at an arms-length.

    Dates? I can go for coffee with my friends and business contacts. Movies are okay but they're more for when you're in relationship. Dinner dates are the best since they're intimate where you're sharing good company, food and wine. But if he insists on a chain restaurant, we're so done!

    I used to know what I wanted in a relationship but now, autonomy is more appealing to me. Relationships can be so much work.

  4. #34
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MoneyTick View Post
    I concur.

    Complete lack of interest in pursuing a committed relationship contravenes the basic functions of human psychology. When behavior is directed against any natural mode of psychological functioning, an array of problems transpire.

    I've known tons of people who played the field and got more ass than a toilet seat, only to end up chronically depressed. My college buddy thrived on women. His charm would suck in any skeptically conservative girl without resistance. After so many short term affairs, he became suicidal and who knows where his depression led him now. Hmmm. This harmonizes with the latest federal report on sexuality ever conducted by the government which states that sexually active high schoolers are 50 percent more prone to drop out of school and 60 percent more liable to be expelled. They are also half as likely to graduate from college. Even among teens from identical socio-economic backgrounds, sexual activity dramatically hurts academic performance. Sexually active college students, living out the dramas of making and breaking sexual relationships, have lower grade-point averages than their chaste peers, they seek counseling more often and are more apt to consider their relationships stressful.

    In other words, our minds subconsciously pursue emotional equilibrium by virtue of seeking out meaningful and long-term relationships. Hence, your friend doesn't have an expiration date - a friend is assumed to remain a friend long-term. Your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't have an expiration date - they are assumed to be part of your life, long-term, until something unforeseen terminates the relationship. A marriage does not have a separation ceremony nor are divorce terms asserted on the day of the wedding - it is assumed that a marriage will last long-term, unless it is terminated sooner by something unforeseen.

    These "assumptions" are subconscious psychological thought processes that gravitate towards committed relationships.

    When such assumptions are absent, you sabotage a key psychological thought process (emotions activate certain chemicals in your brain that influence thought patterns thereafter returning signal by activating certain neurotransmitters which leads to a semi-permanent thought cycle deadlock). This leads to a chronic cycle of depression, emptiness, and complete lack of motivation.

    The foregoing is the reasoning behind my goal to pursue committed relationships and limit playing the field.
    This is all true, despite society telling us otherwise and encouraging otherwise. People choose not to believe it, but your post is spot on. All this depression and feeling down in the dumps has a lot to do with people feeling and being "broken" by being in and out of relationships. +5,486,934.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  5. #35
    figsfiggyfigs
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    Quote Originally Posted by MoneyTick View Post
    I concur.

    Complete lack of interest in pursuing a committed relationship contravenes the basic functions of human psychology. When behavior is directed against any natural mode of psychological functioning, an array of problems transpire.

    I've known tons of people who played the field and got more ass than a toilet seat, only to end up chronically depressed. My college buddy thrived on women. His charm would suck in any skeptically conservative girl without resistance. After so many short term affairs, he became suicidal and who knows where his depression led him now. Hmmm. This harmonizes with the latest federal report on sexuality ever conducted by the government which states that sexually active high schoolers are 50 percent more prone to drop out of school and 60 percent more liable to be expelled. They are also half as likely to graduate from college. Even among teens from identical socio-economic backgrounds, sexual activity dramatically hurts academic performance. Sexually active college students, living out the dramas of making and breaking sexual relationships, have lower grade-point averages than their chaste peers, they seek counseling more often and are more apt to consider their relationships stressful.

    In other words, our minds subconsciously pursue emotional equilibrium by virtue of seeking out meaningful and long-term relationships. Hence, your friend doesn't have an expiration date - a friend is assumed to remain a friend long-term. Your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't have an expiration date - they are assumed to be part of your life, long-term, until something unforeseen terminates the relationship. A marriage does not have a separation ceremony nor are divorce terms asserted on the day of the wedding - it is assumed that a marriage will last long-term, unless it is terminated sooner by something unforeseen.

    These "assumptions" are subconscious psychological thought processes that gravitate towards committed relationships.

    When such assumptions are absent, you sabotage a key psychological thought process (emotions activate certain chemicals in your brain that influence thought patterns thereafter returning signal by activating certain neurotransmitters which leads to a semi-permanent thought cycle deadlock). This leads to a chronic cycle of depression, emptiness, and complete lack of motivation.

    The foregoing is the reasoning behind my goal to pursue committed relationships and limit playing the field.
    That was extremely well said.

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