User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 35

  1. #21
    Senior Member MoneyTick's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    252

    Default

    How do you know when you love someone?
    When everything I do or think contravenes my love-sober philosophy on life. In other words, I catch SFP syndrome.

    Do you treat them any differently than you treat everyone else?
    Well, of course!

    How do you feel (yes, feel) around them?
    I'm in whirlpool of mixed emotions and question marks. The first question is ask is - How far can this go? I don't want to go on an emotional roller-coaster ride for six months to find out, I want to know first hand. With the majority of SFs, this is nearly impossible. My goal is to settle in a long term relationship that would ultimately lead to marriage. Anything beyond that does not warrant my full devotion and attention, I categorize everything else under "playing the field" or "friendship." I play games for a few weeks, then I find out where the person belongs in my life. If there is genuine interest, I pursue it. If it was a hyped-up idle affair, then I withdraw any feelings and consider the person a friend permanently.

    How hard was it for you to get over them?
    Cake.

    The first 48 hours I have this sour feeling or aftershock, I remind myself that it's a natural human response (like a cut or scrape) and I will get over it soon. Two days later, the sour feeling is gone, I pat myself on the back and the bitch is a shadow in my mind. Thereafter, get back to work, take an exotic vacation, hang out with my buddies, enjoy life, and wait for the next opportunity.

    Love is simple. Just have a plan to direct your emotions, enforce the plan regardless of how you "feel," and know when to detour when you find out you're on the road to nowhere.
    got chaos?

  2. #22
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    9 so/sx
    Posts
    21,628

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by HotpinkHeatwave View Post
    Just kidding, I love you. Quite a bit.. And speaking of love, I have a question..(s),

    How do you know when you love someone? Do you treat them any differently than you treat everyone else? How do you feel (yes, feel) around them?

    How hard was it for you to get over them?
    I reckon I've only been in love once or twice, as opposed to that whole high-low rush of emotion falling in love or infatuation phase, I dont believe I've ever "got over" either of those women, one of them is married now and I have only occasional contact with her but we're friends (we connected on an intellectual and spiritual level, similar interests, although she was a religious evangelist who'd grown up believing that I was doomed to hell by my beliefs), the other I try to contact and hear from only rarely, I suspect when she's in need and cant get a solution elsewhere.

    They do get treated differently, they get made priority and they are paramount, I'm unsure if its entirely an emotional thing, I tend to intellectualise and think my way most of the time but perhaps my responses are different.

    If I were in love with someone I'd be more willing to act in manners contrary or out of character for my type if that was what they needed, not all the time because that is self-destructive but more of the time than otherwise.

    Although I would say that attachment style, pair bonding, culture, other things like that have as much of an influence, even more, than my cognitive traits or MBTI typology.

  3. #23
    figsfiggyfigs
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MoneyTick View Post
    When everything I do or think contravenes my love-sober philosophy on life. In other words, I catch SFP syndrome.



    Well, of course!



    I'm in whirlpool of mixed emotions and question marks. The first question is ask is - How far can this go? I don't want to go on an emotional roller-coaster ride for six months to find out, I want to know first hand. With the majority of SFs, this is nearly impossible. My goal is to settle in a long term relationship that would ultimately lead to marriage. Anything beyond that does not warrant my full devotion and attention, I categorize everything else under "playing the field" or "friendship." I play games for a few weeks, then I find out where the person belongs in my life. If there is genuine interest, I pursue it. If it was a hyped-up idle affair, then I withdraw any feelings and consider the person a friend permanently.



    Cake.

    The first 48 hours I have this sour feeling or aftershock, I remind myself that it's a natural human response (like a cut or scrape) and I will get over it soon. Two days later, the sour feeling is gone, I pat myself on the back and the bitch is a shadow in my mind. Thereafter, get back to work, take an exotic vacation, hang out with my buddies, enjoy life, and wait for the next opportunity.

    Love is simple. Just have a plan to direct your emotions, enforce the plan regardless of how you "feel," and know when to detour when you find out you're on the road to nowhere.
    All of This.

  4. #24
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    MBTI
    'sup
    Enneagram
    dawg
    Posts
    51

    Default

    ENTJs. Where do all you people hide?

    Do you like movie dates or coffee dates?

  5. #25
    Giggity Vie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    792

    Default

    ^^ I don't like coffee, haha, but I do enjoy dates where talking is involved, getting to know the person, etc. A movie doesn't really accomplish this.

    As for what MoneyTick said, I agree about the whole "where is this going" spiel. When I'm in a relationship, I will play the game for about a month tops. If I don't feel that it's going to be long term, I cut my losses and move on. It can be really frustrating if the other partner is unsure what they want -- clearly I'm aware that a month isn't enough time to know if you want to get hitched and so forth, but it is more then enough time to know if long term is a possibility. I really dislike not knowing how far something is going to go and will become quite the bitchy nag. I've gotten a lot better about this however, as well as with my expectations of men in relationships. As a teenager, I always felt that the other person in the relationship should put forth as much effort as I was (the time devoted to them was 100% while with them, much like how I approach school or work) but as I've grown I have realized that my expectations of another person can be somewhat unrealistic, so I've mellowed considerably with this.

    I find it really difficult though as an ENTJ female to find males suitable to date. When I find one who does challenge me, it instantly attracts me (generally these have only been INTJ and ENTPs who could do this), and I treat them differently from the start. It's an instant attraction and one that I know will either blossom or won't. If it won't, they get cast to friend zone.

  6. #26
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    ¥¤
    Enneagram
    3w4 sp/so
    Posts
    1,907

    Default

    Here I differ. I don't want marriage or anything too permanent. I totally adore my bf, but I don't want to be saddled with expectations. Live and love the moment. Career and my goals are #1 anyway.

    I guess that's a part of the issue with my ENTJ ex - he was way overplanning things and literally getting ready for marriage within a few months! That just wasn't on my agenda, I'm afraid.

    The INFJ is way more free-spirited and non-pressure.

    Also, I should probably mention that I'm 21. So it's not normal for people my age to get supersuper serious anyway.
    3w4-9w1-?w6 (nearly headless nick)
    sp/so
    Lawful Evil

    COCKBURN:

    http://sundrytimes.files.wordpress.c...tomic-bomb.jpg


  7. #27
    figsfiggyfigs
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Vie View Post
    ^^ I don't like coffee, haha, but I do enjoy dates where talking is involved, getting to know the person, etc. A movie doesn't really accomplish this.

    As for what MoneyTick said, I agree about the whole "where is this going" spiel. When I'm in a relationship, I will play the game for about a month tops. If I don't feel that it's going to be long term, I cut my losses and move on. It can be really frustrating if the other partner is unsure what they want -- clearly I'm aware that a month isn't enough time to know if you want to get hitched and so forth, but it is more then enough time to know if long term is a possibility. I really dislike not knowing how far something is going to go and will become quite the bitchy nag. I've gotten a lot better about this however, as well as with my expectations of men in relationships. As a teenager, I always felt that the other person in the relationship should put forth as much effort as I was (the time devoted to them was 100% while with them, much like how I approach school or work) but as I've grown I have realized that my expectations of another person can be somewhat unrealistic, so I've mellowed considerably with this.

    I find it really difficult though as an ENTJ female to find males suitable to date. When I find one who does challenge me, it instantly attracts me (generally these have only been INTJ and ENTPs who could do this), and I treat them differently from the start. It's an instant attraction and one that I know will either blossom or won't. If it won't, they get cast to friend zone.
    See, I dont even do the whole game thing. I skip right past that. I'm extremely future oriented, hate games, and like plans. I would've decided "where is this going" before even dating. Sounds weird. But I need to know if the person thinks/shares the same plans as I before deciding/bothering to invest myself/time in them. This is also a reason why I don't "date" often. I have high expectations. I need to build some sort of friendship first, get to know the person as a friend, no sexual expectations; a healthy, unromantic foundation. I will not put in any effort past the amount a friend is supposed to be putting in, unless they're worth it, and I know they're going to do the exact same. Does this person want the same things I do? Are they willing to work as hard as me? What am I investing in? I have plans/goals, how will they fit into that? Am I willing to risk things for this individual?

    I've been told that I'm idealistic, my expectations are high. For that, I don't care much.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stu Katz View Post
    ENTJs. Where do all you people hide?

    Do you like movie dates or coffee dates?
    I'd probably prefer to go for icecream...

    Coffee breath is not attractive, and movies are more of a " I already know you, so we can get some quite time without it being awkward" appropriate.

  8. #28
    Giggity Vie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    792

    Default

    Unfortunately when I was dating, I felt as though it was necessary for me to play the game. Otherwise, there was no one even left to hang out with that I found romantic. The game never worked out with any of them and I tired quickly of it. Luckily for me, I have a guy who hates playing that whole nonsense game more than me. Unluckily for me, he is uh...how do I put this nicely...a bumblefucker is what I call it. Just sorts of floats about until he decides what he wants, and it's always very sudden. I'm already invested enough to where bailing is not an option...so now I wait.

    I loathe waiting.

  9. #29
    figsfiggyfigs
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Vie View Post
    Unfortunately when I was dating, I felt as though it was necessary for me to play the game. Otherwise, there was no one even left to hang out with that I found romantic. The game never worked out with any of them and I tired quickly of it. Luckily for me, I have a guy who hates playing that whole nonsense game more than me. Unluckily for me, he is uh...how do I put this nicely...a bumblefucker is what I call it. Just sorts of floats about until he decides what he wants, and it's always very sudden. I'm already invested enough to where bailing is not an option...so now I wait.

    I loathe waiting.
    rofl @ bumblefucker.

    My romantic interest, although rare, usually begins/grows AFTER I have become friends with them for a long period of time. I find them more attractive, and more of a "commodity".

    I never invest in someone I don't know well, no matter how attractive he is.

  10. #30
    ThatGirl
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Stu Katz View Post
    ENTJs. Where do all you people hide?

    Do you like movie dates or coffee dates?
    I like coffee dates, especially if the man is shy. Nothing better than getting somone all hyper and allowing them to talk for a while. While the date should start over coffee, it shouldn't end there. Have something waiting on the back burner for whether we hit it off or not.

    The best way to impress an ENTJ (or woman for that matter) is to take them out of their familiar routine, and show competency. Like, if the ENTJ never goes to dance, take them to dance, take the lead, and make them look good doing it.

    Then take them to desert to talk about how fun the night was.

    IMO at least.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENTJ] ENTJ Women: are you "sexual beings" (i.e., prone to slutty behavior)?
    By baccheion in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 12-13-2015, 05:08 PM
  2. [ENTJ] ENTJs what were you like as children? For instance your social life as a child/teen
    By Brian2626 in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 11-10-2012, 09:59 PM
  3. [ENTJ] ENTJ's: Do you get bogged down?
    By INTPness in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 01-06-2010, 11:06 AM
  4. [ENTJ] ENTJs- how do you think about other types?
    By Tamske in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 12-18-2009, 03:01 AM
  5. [ENTJ] ENTJ, how do you get back on track when you've lost yourself to your worse functions?
    By UnitOfPopulation in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 04-15-2009, 08:54 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO