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View Poll Results: NTs, would you marry an theist?

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  • No, I'm an INTP

    6 10.34%
  • No, I'm an ENTP

    4 6.90%
  • No, I'm an INTJ

    9 15.52%
  • No, I'm an ENTJ

    2 3.45%
  • Yes, I'm an INTP

    18 31.03%
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    7 12.07%
  • Yes, I'm an INTJ

    8 13.79%
  • Yes, I'm an ENTJ

    4 6.90%
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  1. #1
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Default NTs, would you marry a Theist?

    New in the 'eck shamelessly steals a thread and applies and give it a small perspective shift' series!

    Get your copy now!

    Since most NFsNTs have a tendency to believe in ''something bigger'',observable patterns and disagree with essentialism (a point that can be discussed but i'm quoting here!) i was wondering if you would necessarily expect the same from your special one.
    Thoughts?

    ps: please answer to the poll based on a realistic model of the long term consequences of the choice and not based on some 'in the best possible world' case or on how you like to see yourself as open minded and accepting.
    I'm interested in a realistic appraisal of the 'system' that would be the married couple given a realistic situation. Base your vote on a kind of 'statistically averaged' married couple with you as one of the contractually linked parties, sharing everyday life, budgets, holidays (!), maybe family events...
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  2. #2
    Member KilgoreTrout's Avatar
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    I think deeply held beliefs are fundamental in making a relationship work. Religious beliefs are so polarizing since none (to my knowledge) allow for another path. I would not be comfortable in a relationship knowing my partner believed I was headed for eternal damnation just as I am sure my partner would not feel comfortable in a relationship where I thought his faith was based on outdated superstitions.

    A relationship of this nature would be even more difficult to maintain if raising children were to become a factor.
    "Everyone who believes in telekinesis, raise my hand."

  3. #3
    ThatGirl
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    I'm generally unaffected by other people's belief systems. Assuming we were compatible in the other area's (including morality) and they were accepting of my beliefs, I don't see why it would be a problem.

  4. #4
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    I'm an agnostic and I would be willing to marry a theist on the condition that he doesn't pressure me into converting to his religion. As long as he accepts my belief system, I'm cool with it. As long he doesn't feel the need to constantly bring up and make issue of our differences, I'd be okay with that.
    INtp
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  5. #5
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I actually did marry a theist and was married for a long long time.

    Even with us being split, I still am supportive of the faith quest, even if I disagree with some of the political/moral stances my ex holds.
    (I just think they're unrealistic, but I understand why they seem rational to my ex.)

    In general, I can deal with people who use their faith to inform their choices but understand that others have to make their own decisions about life, and who also are willing to listen and be able to 'follow' other ways of thinking. The more rigid and closed someone is, the less I could be with them as an SO.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #6
    Senior Member Lucas's Avatar
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    I think I would be fine marrying a deist or an agnostic theist.
    "Those are my principles and if you don't like them......well, I have others"

    -Groucho Marx

    "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

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  7. #7
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    Yes, since I'm a theist myself. I'd prefer a fellow theist, but not someone who was highly evangelical or rigid.
    Something Witty

  8. #8
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Thanks for your opinions guys.
    As for myself mh.
    While I do agree about the fact that 'shit is possible' I don't think I could get along with all the cultural baggage of any dominant monotheistic religion.

    It's just too 'close to my culture' for it not to create clashes. And I know I'd suck at 'having semi taboo topics'. I sincerely can't do that. Once someone is part of my 'special circle of people I care about' (assuming I'm not going to go for an arranged marriage and prefer being single to being in a relationship for the sake of having a regular sexual partner) the topic would come up and we'd disagree. And this is one of these beliefs that is fundamental to a person's ego and I don't see (relative) overall growth occuring in a system with such counter productive fundamental opposition. I'm all for difference but that to me is more of a matter\ anti matter mix. It sure extracts work\energy but destroy structure.
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  9. #9
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EcK View Post
    Once someone is part of my 'special circle of people I care about' (assuming I'm not going to go for an arranged marriage and prefer being single to being in a relationship for the sake of having a regular sexual partner) the topic would come up and we'd disagree. And this is one of these beliefs that is fundamental to a person's ego and I don't see overall growth occuring in a system with such counter productive fundamental opposition. I'm all for difference but that to me is more of a matter\ anti matter mix. It sure extracts work\energy but destroy structure.
    This was kind of the problem. Once our beliefs diverged, we were both changing in different directions. We cared about each other as people, but we were growing further apart in some ways. (Or, actually, I could still see convergence between our two belief structures if my ex could broaden perspective, but the strict adherence to particular monotheistic faith details made it difficult to perceive the broad patterns of convergence with my existential theist /agnostic view.)

    Some people make it work, but it usually means that one person just doesn't much talk about their beliefs and they live one lifestyle or the other; OR it has to be a couple where both still can feel close without seeing their beliefs as something that gets between them.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #10
    Junior Member Cat_Cloud's Avatar
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    I actually ama Christian (Gasp! An INTP christian!?!?) but my views on religion are very flexible and most conservative christians would probably call me a heretic... I see religion in general as something to study objectively in its origional context or from the perspective of multiple cultures, so if a married a theist they would have to be opened minded (same if I married an atheist. When it comes to religion, I find that many of them are touchy and close minded. Some think that Christians don't believe in gravity...). I hate it when people are close minded and only rely on what others have told them, or only interpret it through their own culture.

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