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Thread: Missing people?

  1. #31
    Senior Member Array copperfish17's Avatar
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    Dec 2009
    5w4 sp/so


    ^ Yes, all of that.

    I've made a number of people upset because I don't always follow up when they contact me whilst we're apart. Thanks to a couple that were very vocal about their discontent (those Fe doms gotta love 'em), I've made a habit of checking my email every single day (I don't usually call/text people).

    It's strange that I rarely feel compelled to contact even those who are closest to me, because it's not that I don't care about these individuals. I don't particularly miss these people either (though of course, their presence would be more than welcome). Contacting people back indeed does slip my mind... It's just that I'm always preoccupied with whatever's going on in the present. I suppose you could say: out of sight, out of mind.

    BUT... since losing these people would be devastating, I do make conscious efforts to keep in touch, whether or not I feel like it. And whether or not I "feel like it" has little to do with the depth of my feelings for the person in question.
    Last edited by copperfish17; 03-07-2011 at 12:10 PM.
    Enneagram: 5w4 5-9-2 (5w4 9w1 2w1) sp/so

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  2. #32


    I only miss people when I no longer have at will access to them. Like the dead.

    Friends, and Family, are probably more neglected than they should be. Yeah, I know that is cliche. It is really hard to remind people sometimes how much you appreciate just knowing they are there.

  3. #33
    A window to the soul


    It's tough to put into words how much I miss people. I develop a deep caring for family and friends that I often times fail to give appropriate time, attention and all due respect; during special occasions I'll stand out as the nerd not appearing to care or take things seriously (i.e., my sister's wedding). I can only explain it as, I understand my feelings very well, but I become physically overwhelmed, if I take them seriously. So I find myself expressing them inappropriately and inconsistently; as I'm always striving to be in control. I find myself buying people fancy things and in the case with my sisters, giving them stuff of mine that they compliment, to make up for my failure in the area of not always being there or serious in the way of emotional support. I've done that since I was kid. It takes a great effort to conduct myself like an ENFJ, though I do believe I miss people as much as an ENFJ probably does, if not more.

  4. #34
    i love Array skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    6w7 so/sx
    EII Ne


    this thread has been educational. a little disturbing, mostly just because i did not know this, but educational. it's actually kind of helpful in understanding my INTPs. they're funny about how they show love. very different from me.

    gotta admit, arthur, you're probably killing your mom. in general for an ENFP communication is a sign of still loving and caring about the other person, so that's why she's probably freaking out about it. though we lose track of time as well, so i don't think infrequency should really be too much of a problem. just reminding her every once in a while that you're shit at communicating but that you do love her would probably be really nice for her while not requiring any real work on your part.

  5. #35


    Quote Originally Posted by SuchIrony View Post
    Before you ask, she isn't satisfied with just email or text messages. It has to be a phone call or an in-person visit.
    Same with my mom. She drives me nuts!

  6. #36
    Junior Member Array Cat_Cloud's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011


    I'm not sure about "missing" people, but I know if I want to maintain a connection with a person I have to see them frequently (I can't stand calling or e-mail) or they drift away. My mom calls me way too much, but she's getting better.

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