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Thread: Missing people?

  1. #11
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    My motivations here are almost embarrassingly selfish.
    I believe motivation is always selfish.

  2. #12
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    I believe motivation is always selfish.
    Yes, that's probably true.

    It's still embarrassing, though, since other people don't admit it.

  3. #13
    Senior Member guesswho's Avatar
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    I miss people

  4. #14
    Junior Member Vorm Krieg's Avatar
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    I remember when my class split up and everyone went to different schools. There was this girl, kind but the complete opposite of me, who wanted to keep contact even though we would go different ways and probably almost never see each other. I kinda liked her - as a friend, even though I did know she was into me - so I agreed that we should. But as soon as we parted I never gave her any more thought and never tried to contact her. It was like she had slipped out of my mind completely. To be honest, it was this thread that reminded me of the whole thing and I also remember that she did try to send me messages, to wich I didn't reply.

    An answer why I can not think of. I wasn't too fond of my classmates, but even those that I did enjoy spending time with I feel no desire to check up with. I was all about thinking how my new school would be and all the new people I would meet. Haven't given it too much thought, but it could be all the things associated with that time of my life, boredom, loneliness, depression, that makes me very unsentimental about it.

    Family is a different matter since I always meet them on christmas and birthdays anyway.

  5. #15
    Dependable Skeleton Engineer's Avatar
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    I generally don't miss people unless he/she is part of my support network, or if I'm experiencing some form of shit-headed limerence towards her.
    Even in the case of the network, I'm so frequently in contact with them through alternate means that it's not like there's much to miss.
    So no, I'd say I don't miss people very much at all.

    ...some days I fantasize about being the last person alive on earth, with no one else left to bother me or interact with or fall into infatuation with. It's a beautiful feeling.
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  6. #16
    Senior Member ScorpioINTP's Avatar
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    I can relate. I don't miss my Father or brother and usually find it a burden to be around either for extended periods of time and even phone calls are not enjoyable 90% of the time. I do miss my late mother though. Most people I can say I don't miss, but I do miss having people in my life I "miss". There are some ex-gf's I really miss and wish things had worked out with, but not that I constantly think about it, but when I do I feel regret.

    I have one or two old friends I do miss and get annoyed with that they never call/write. I would guess my best friend from HS is an INTX too, so maybe I should understand, but sometimes we don't talk for 2 or more years and it is disconcerting. I do miss my dogs when I am away for too long.
    Type 6w5 sp/so/sx I think..I have not fully explored this and just discovered it.

  7. #17
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    It depends on the person. I suppose it rarely happens to me.

    I've never missed any family members. I don't miss any classmates I've had. I don't really miss any of the people that would conventionally be considered friends that I had, with a few exceptions. I don't even miss my ENTJ friend of nearly 11 years, though I think we get along very well.

    Basically, there's someone I became infatuated with, someone I completely fell in love with, my ENFP friend who I felt very emotionally close to, and someone else I've only ever known online (and so can only be missed in terms of not communicating) that I miss. For those I do actually miss, I feel it pretty often.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  8. #18
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Aside from my immediate family, I don't really have people I miss seeing. I have grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins that I go for weeks or months without seeing and I'm not bothered by it. I do enjoy seeing them but I don't really miss them when I don't. I do like knowing what's going on with their lives to some extent but I don't have a very strong need to visit them in person. I visit them during family gatherings and holidays like Christmas and that's mostly it.

    My friends in real life are much the same way. I might contact them once in a while via email or Facebook but an in person visit or even an extended phone call is only about once every 4-6 weeks.


    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Hmm... well, my tendencies are somewhat interesting.

    I have difficulty keeping in touch with someone that I don't see day-to-day, or who isn't part of a "group" that I identify myself with. At first, it just slips my mind for a few months while I focus on some Ni-related subject... but after a while, I think "oh my, I miss that person." The thing is, by the time I remember that, it's been so long that I feel like it would be awkward to contact them. So I end up... NOT contacting them. And eventually I forget about them. Of course, when/if they contact me, I remember how much I missed them and I'm glad to hear from them.

    One thing that keeps me from completely losing touch with everyone, though, is the vague fear of not having people there for me when I need them. It really has less to do with caring about the person, than the fear of not having anyone to whom I can turn. So I want to keep a few people superficially involved in my life, so that I can have the reassurance that I'm involved in a group of people that cares for me, or at least pretends to care. In reality, most of these are family members who I don't like dealing with, but I still want to do brain-dead things like reciprocate Christmas Cards or leave messages on their phone, hoping that they'll return the gestures, but not decide to make me actually interact with them.

    My motivations here are almost embarrassingly selfish.

    Perhaps they would be less so if I had more people in my life that I actually identified with and wanted to interact with? Oh, well.
    I very much relate to all of this. One large reason why I feel its so important to be on good terms with family members is that if I ever get into some major jam or have some emergency, there will be someone there for me. The relationships are fulfilling in themselves but they do fulfill a somewhat (dare I say it) selfish purpose. The relationships are important for my own safety.
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  9. #19
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    I don't generally miss people. I mean I am fine with sporadic visits and occasional phone calls and email. I miss ENFJ man when he's gone for a week at a time working. I miss the weekends when we don't have all the kids home. A lot of socializing really exhausts me, which is why I prefer emails to phone calls. I keep in touch with friends but it's not a regular thing and I talk and see my parents fairly often but they are a couple hours away and that's perfect. Otherwise it's not something I think about. Out of sight out of mind I guess.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Hera's Avatar
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    I don't miss a lot of people. But the few I would miss/do miss mean a lot to me, I just don't know how to express it well or even why I feel like they matter.

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