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Thread: someone is wrong with me

  1. #31


    I didn't read the whole thread, but if you feel this bad, don't you think you should see someone about it?

  2. #32
    Senior Member Array Synapse's Avatar
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    Dec 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post
    I been crying a lot lately, I don't know if that's my body doing that to release some chemicals. You know I have to agree with the poster above. I'll never love myself no matter how much I try to improve I can never love myself
    When did I say never...if you become in alignment with your self from an alternative perspective your consciousness being will never ever think this way. Your an NT, your meant to be rational. However talking about the metaphysical aspect of the self wouldn't sit well which is why

    ...hello Tryptophan, Tyrosin, Tyramine, Magnesium, Vitamin B and Iodine...less sugar and fluoride and other stuff.
    Emphasis on this as a natural way, more probably missed some, plus checking out your heavy metals like if you have mercury in your body via amalgams and other stuff. eating healthy and excluding processed foods, sugars and wheat or anything that you react with helps.

    And yes talking about it with someone would help gain some focus back.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    ^ Synapse! You bad boy! :1377:
    Oh you so love it.

  3. #33
    Senior Member Array think2much's Avatar
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    Sep 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    I didn't read the whole thread, but if you feel this bad, don't you think you should see someone about it?
    I did, that's why I made the thread.

    I watched tv shows all day and it made me realize "socializing" is stressful and pointless. I accpeted this awhile ago but the reason I got depressed was cause I was so lonely.

    Today I accpeted the fact I can never be in a relationship, I cannot go through all the bullshi# to be in relationship or to maintain in one. I was always the old fashion type, I just wanted a good girlfriend; guess times are different since it's 21first century. Girls are brainwashed to play mind games and aren't royal(oh just move on to the next guy if it doesn't work out type). Guess I can never have that companionship I always wanted but now I can live with that. Hey, life's not perfect. So I will focus on one night stands for my needs, I think I can fake being myself for couple hrs at a bar/club or internet dating to have sex. I just gonna learn it. It's a shame though since I hate drinking

    oh if anyone eles think/know of alternative ways please post here. Thanks for all ur advice guys!!! Now I feel better during the day but I still can't sleep(which messes with my regular days). So what I did was push myself mentally and physically but my body refuse to shut down which is like a torture. I think that's something I have to live with.... for now anyway

  4. #34
    i love Array skylights's Avatar
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    Jul 2010
    6w7 so/sx
    EII Ne


    think2much i don't really know you or anything about you, but even from the smattering of posts here i like you. you just seem burnt out, like i've been lately...

    but you've already said you can't commit suicide because of your parents, which in my books already shows that you care about people, and that's really all you need to be attractive. you don't even have to like most people, or even many people, or even like one person all the time. you don't have to be incredibly affectionate. you just have to care, on some level, about one person - and you obviously already have two people in your life you care about. and maybe i'm an outlier, but i find it pretty attractive that you're feeling depressed to a point of not wanting to live but you're holding out for other people anyway. it indicates so much - that you love, even if it's in a different-than-conventional way, and that your worldview is bigger than just yourself. i think you know that, too - you clearly have a willingness to participate in a relationship.

    this might seem kind of offensive, and i'm sorry if it does, but i've got to point out a pattern:

    perception that humans/socializing is bad -> no hope for relationship -> believing something is wrong with you -> no self worth

    it's like... you're taking a certain perception of general humanity and then applying it to yourself and blaming yourself for it. do you know what i mean? the problem isn't the people, or you at all, actually, it's just the perception you're looking at things through. the lens. you're blaming yourself for a certain lens, but you don't deserve that blame, the lens does. therapy can help you look at stuff like that.

    just to give you some hope, speaking as a girl, i don't have any intents of playing mind games in relationships and i'm so loyal that i hang on to people even after it's clear the relationship won't work. not to say i'm an ideal person, but we're not all terrible and brainwashed. a little insecure and flawed, yes, but not awful. and out of about six million people in the world, you have a pretty good chance of there being one who fits relatively well into your criteria. i think your plan to have one night stands is fine, but be cautious in that it might perpetuate the not-necessarily-totally-true ideas about women and the impossibility of relationships you already have.

    as for socializing... yeah, it can be annoying and stupid. some people hate it. but the reason we do it is to sift through people and find the ones we like and care about, or to make connections that help us get what we want. it's not totally pointless, even though it might not be your favorite thing to do. there are ways to avoid it, of course. but you've gotten your idea of socializing from tv, not from reality. have you given real socializing a fair assessment? perhaps it is not always as awful as it seems...

    Are you guys saying someone socially awkward, introverted, narcissistic and schizoid can change?
    yes. maybe not drastically, maybe not quickly, but bit by bit and enough so that you don't have to feel this way. and these traits... considered objectively... they're not so bad. socially awkward isn't terrible, it's kind of cute sometimes. at least you don't just blindly follow meaningless social contrivances. and a huge portion of the population of the world is introverted, probably around half. that's like 3300000 people. everyone's pretty self-centered, that's nothing new. even if they're not self-centered on the outside they secretly are deep down. and psychologists have found many ways of working with people who are schizoid, both drugs and therapy, that can help you deal with the aspects of yourself that you would like to have more control over. the disorder means you're emotionally disconnected, yeah? from yourself and others? it doesn't mean you can't have self-worth or do meaningful things with your life.

    as for the inertia... my mom told me this recently, i thought it was really helpful: don't think that to make yourself worthwhile you have to change everything overnight. NxP types try to do that... we try to make big global sudden changes. it doesn't work, then we get disappointed. she said that all you have to do is work on making just a few steps in the right direction, each day. enacting change in yourself sucks, it's tedious and hard - but it's better than not doing so, you can see that clearly already. maybe you could try that to... it's what i'm doing now. it's not so bad. sometimes i feel shitty about myself in general, but taking small steps helps you feel competent and worthwhile. even stuff as mundane as washing the car, organizing some of your stuff, etc.

    can you maybe try coming up with some kind of a game plan, just a few little concrete things you could do over the next few days and weeks to move in the direction you want to move in... like in the direction of who you would like to become? you don't have to start huge, with loving yourself. all you have to have is a little hope that maybe you can change, and the fact that you're posting here says you have that already. and then just translate that into doing one forward-moving thing a day. you could start easy - you could schedule one tentative appointment with a therapist to question them about the process and worth of it. it's possible you might not even be charged much for something like that. and not ideas - they have to be actual actions to undertake... otherwise that NxP tendency to think and not do will kick in

    good luck, think2much, i hope at least some of these thoughts can be useful to you. you're welcome to PM me if you want to talk.

    oh, as for not sleeping - benadryl, if it doesn't clash with your other meds.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Array MoneyTick's Avatar
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    May 2010


    Love and money will solve all of your problems.

    I know they tell you "money isn't everything" and shit, but that's just what they tell you.

    For 99% of everyone material wealth doesn't mean crap.

    It feels good to be that 1% minority statistic that can enjoy a good scotch next to my patio hot tub not having to worry about bills and mortgage default.

    I remember the day I gave my boss my letter of resignation before opening up my own hedge fund. He was the wisest person I knew and his last words to me were:

    "Dave, look around - what do you see? A computer, a desk, an Adui parked on the street, an iPhone, a cup of coffee. You see the product of profit! Greed and the love of money had crafted the advanced world we live in today, of course, at the expense of moral decay. You can be a part of it, or partake of it. If money be not thy servant, it shall be thy master"

    Start your own business. It will teach you responsibility, it will give your life direction, it will incentive you to wake up in the morning.

    Then comes the topic of love and relationships.

    To be loved, you must first learn to love yourself and others.

    Women don't look at the money, they look at your heart. Things of the heart are not monetary, so you must make sure one does not corrupt the other.

    Money will solve all of your problems.

    If you are hungry, it can buy you food.
    If you are thirsty, it can buy you a bottle of Poland Spring water.
    If you are dumb, it can buy you knowledge.
    If you are bored, it can buy you a TV and movies.
    If you are depressed, it can help you craft the life you want to live.

    It can be your master, or it can be your servant.

    People will tell you "money is not everything."

    They are correct. Money is only 97% of all things.

    For example, take a breath of fresh air! That fresh air costs a lot of money to maintain. In Tokyo, the lack of pollution and emission legislation has critically reduced the oxygen levels sometimes to an acute level. There are emergency oxygen stations in nearly every city block just in case you become oxygen deprived.

    Polluted air is a byproduct of a detrimental economic externality. Clean air, in the wake of an industrialized venue, is the byproduct of costly efforts by government to enact and enforce emissions and pollution control legislation. Hence, air costs money.

    In this modern era, love is also contingent on monetary well-being. Statistically, the number one catalyst for divorces and broken relationships are financial feuds.

    My friend (will not mention his name for privacy matters) has a wonderful wife and three great kids. He is a happy man, takes good care of his family, and knows how to enjoy life. He owns four gay sports-bars, and is a minority shareholder and board member of a porn production company. He is not gay and he is not a perv, he just knows how to follow the money.

    Laday Gaga brings in millions of dollars to her producers, whilst both young and old are captivated by her nonsense music.

    In previous centuries, there was substance and truth in daily living. There was family, religion, respect, wisdom, good food and wine, and all of life's simple pleasures.

    Today, the root of all evil - money - is yielding its fruit in abundance to Wall Street players and large corporations.
    Last edited by MoneyTick; 02-25-2011 at 12:01 AM.
    got chaos?

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