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  1. #1
    Senior Member Butterfly's Avatar
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    Default INTP after breakup

    Im just curious to know about INTPs and break ups.

    How long does it take for an INTP to get over someone? I read that when an INTP decides to end things, he reallllyyyy means it.

    But I had this INTP with which things didn't work out. He wanted to continue talking, but I was the one who burnt the bridges so to speak. He has been asking about me from our mutual friend.

    So I have been thinking if hes OK. And to know how long does it take for an INTP to get over someone after a break up.???

    Please share anything. Thanks.

  2. #2
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Nothing is easier, for me, than to move on.

  3. #3
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Well, it depends on who did the breaking up.

    If the INTP does the dumping, well... it is over and done with. Kaput. And the INTP will get really irked if the dumped person keeps asking around about them or hanging about or pestering them. (They want to avoid the awkward emotions, they want to avoid clinginess, they want to avoid being stalked.)

    When an INTP is dumped? This could be somewhat bad, if the INTP does not really understand why the dumping occurred. At first guess I think this might drive most of any difficulties an INTP might experience in letting go: If they have not been given an explanation and they can't piece one together, then they will obsess over "why it happened" and try to figure it out.

    The other reason an INTP might obsess is simply because of the "fascination fixation." INTPs tend to get really absorbed in a particular field, until they learn everything about it they can, and then they drop it and move on. If a human being is the target of this focus, and the person cuts off things before the INTP has learned everything they wanted to know, they still might obsess in finding out all the things they didn't yet know before being able to move on.

    Those are just my best guesses right now.
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  4. #4

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    From observation I would say when they are the ones dumped, INTP take a looooong time to get over it. It's on endless loop for analyzing in their heads, or rather they just ruminate about it. I think INTP actually forms a lot of sudden 'irrational' bonds with people that don't warrant the depth of it. It seems uncharacteristic of a textbook INTP, but I think it's common.
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  5. #5
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Just two years. Not that long.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    When an INTP is dumped? This could be somewhat bad, if the INTP does not really understand why the dumping occurred. At first guess I think this might drive most of any difficulties an INTP might experience in letting go: If they have not been given an explanation and they can't piece one together, then they will obsess over "why it happened" and try to figure it out.

    I sooo agree with this and add to that the possibility (probable with an INTP) that they never saw it coming, there's the shock factor making obesession more likely... the self-questioning on how or why they didn't. I know I have to be clobbered with a 2x4. I just don't pick up subtleties. Sarah Jessica Parker on "Sex and the City" always floors me with her attention to every word or behavior of her love interests and what it means or what's coming... its like she's omniscient or something.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Butterfly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    Just two years. Not that long.
    Ouch! sorry to hear.


    Well, it depends on who did the breaking up.

    If the INTP does the dumping, well... it is over and done with. Kaput. And the INTP will get really irked if the dumped person keeps asking around about them or hanging about or pestering them. (They want to avoid the awkward emotions, they want to avoid clinginess, they want to avoid being stalked.)

    "When an INTP is dumped? This could be somewhat bad, if the INTP does not really understand why the dumping occurred. At first guess I think this might drive most of any difficulties an INTP might experience in letting go: If they have not been given an explanation and they can't piece one together, then they will obsess over "why it happened" and try to figure it out.

    The other reason an INTP might obsess is simply because of the "fascination fixation." INTPs tend to get really absorbed in a particular field, until they learn everything about it they can, and then they drop it and move on. If a human being is the target of this focus, and the person cuts off things before the INTP has learned everything they wanted to know, they still might obsess in finding out all the things they didn't yet know before being able to move on.

    Those are just my best guesses right now.
    Thanks Jennifer for this. This explains it really well.

    Thanks others for thier input too...now things are making sense.
    Last edited by Kasper; 02-24-2010 at 09:08 PM.

  8. #8

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    I don't think it's dependent on who dose the breaking up but how valid the reason for the break up is.

    If the break up is for reasons that are unavoidable or uncontrollable then it's is extremely easy to move on. If the reasons are weak or things that could be worked on then the over analyzing comes into play.

  9. #9

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    Not sure I would be the best neutral INTP to comment, but if an INTP were to do the breaking. It's done, no questions. That means he/she has spent a huge amount of time, and finally came over their laziness to end it :P

    If your looking for advice on how to break up with one so that he doesn't try to hang around. Make sure you really take the time to explain to them WHY you are doing it. You will need to cover every detail, and patient enough to make sure they completely understand. Otherwise yes, they will hang around because they are trying to understand or fix whats going on.

  10. #10

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    In my experiences as the INTP, I really did mean to end things, and so did. There is in fact only one ex I still maintain some semblance of contact with as a friend. I think though, getting over a breakup has always been rather easy for some reason. Emotions are not the forte of an INTP so maybe that's the key- getting over it is a lack of emotional involvement, so maybe that's why it seems easy. I could be wrong. But that is my take.

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