First of all, congratu_freaking-lations for getting your life on track! That's no small feat!
Now, from the *other side* perspective…
I was once kicked to the curb by an INTP crutch. It was the absolute best thing he could have done for me (and I'm sure It was good for him, as well.).
We met when we were both going through a really unhealthy time and we were both spinning out of control...drinking a lot and just being self-destructive in general. So we formed this very volatile, tense friendship that one of us (usually me) ended over and over and over again.
Anyway, he started to move on witty his life and heal and put more focus into his business and his children and being happy and healthy and general, and I kind of got stuck where I was. But I was so used to having someone to rely on and wallow with when he was low, that I just automatically switched from providing mutual *support* to sucking the poor man dry. I was drinking a LOT at the point, but when my normal attempts at friendship started going unreturned, I started relying on the one thing that would ALWAYS bring him running...my need for his *help.* I'm fairly sure things were exaggerated, maybe even manufactured, just out of desperation to have this person in my life to rely on. He would ignore me, and I would KNOW he was ignoring me and that I should leave him alone, but I was so flipping out of my mind, and scared, I couldn't.
In the end, this is what he told me:
"You remind me of the absolute worst part of myself and the worst time in my life and the pain and destruction I caused to the people around me. I can't watch that again, which is why I need to be as far away from you as humanly possible - once and for all."
It felt like he stabbed me in the heart, I didn't eat for weeks, and I was just generally miserable for a while, but lemme tell you...the pain I was dealing with had NOTHING to do with him and it couldn't be dealt with properly when I was in the middle of being a psychopathic codependent nutcase. And once I realized that, life only got better. For both of us.
Down the road, we're friends again, but nowhere near where we were before and we never will be, simply because we tend to bring out the best and the worst in each other, but the best isn't worth the worst. But I still consider him one of my best friends, always.
Anyway, I rambled on about a part of my life I don't even like to remember, much less talk abut because I wanted you to know that your *help* could be doing more harm than good to the BOTH of you, especially if she's still using. There's no way an addict can *truly* get their life on track, so your efforts are in vain, anyway. Your responsibility is to your own mental health, first in foremost....so just make sure t\o guard it so you don't put everything you've worked so hard for at risk.
Best of luck to ya!
By the way, I don't recommend just deleting and ignoring. An ENFJs need for closure is no less than an INTPs...but we're much more proactive and willing to hang around and bother you until we get it. Personally, leaving a relationship in a confused, unresolved state is far more damaging than leaving a relationship with closure. Explaining your thought processes now could save you a lot of grief in the future. Then deleting without reading is a great idea. Addicts are master manipulators. An ENFJ addict is downright scary.
