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  1. #11
    Junior Member Equis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judous View Post
    if an INTP were to do the breaking. It's done, no questions. That means he/she has spent a huge amount of time, and finally came over their laziness to end it :P
    I agree. It takes a lot for me to get up the nerve to break it off with someone completely. So when it's over, it's definitely over.

  2. #12
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly View Post
    Im just curious to know about INTPs and break ups.

    How long does it take for an INTP to get over someone? I read that when an INTP decides to end things, he reallllyyyy means it.

    But I had this INTP with which things didn't work out. He wanted to continue talking, but I was the one who burnt the bridges so to speak. He has been asking about me from our mutual friend.

    So I have been thinking if hes OK. And to know how long does it take for an INTP to get over someone after a break up.???

    Please share anything. Thanks.
    The INTP does not break up.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by wildcat View Post
    The INTP does not break up.
    After enough abuse, they do.

    I dunno what is meant by "getting over". You just never see them again and never think of them. Because when you do teh emotions come back. Then, few years down the road, it does not matter as much. I suppose it's "over" then.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Butterfly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wildcat View Post
    The INTP does not break up.
    ? What do you mean??

  5. #15
    a white iris elfinchilde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly View Post
    ? What do you mean??
    The INTP does a breakup, but they do not break up. ie, they do not fall apart to the point of being unable to get back onto their feet.
    You gave me hyacinths first a year ago;
    They called me the hyacinth girl.
    Yet when we came back, late, from the Hyacinth garden,
    Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not
    Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither
    Living nor dead, and I knew nothing,
    Looking into the heart of light, the silence.

    --T.S Eliot, The Wasteland

  6. #16
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    bump. Hi, I'm Nick. I'm 23. I've been reading for about a month, and I finally decided to join. Hi

    So, I broke up with my girlfriend of whom I was with for 4 years, a little over a year ago and I'm starting to think I might need to see a therapist or something. Generally, I'm against the idea of paying somebody money to hear me out, but I really don't know what else to do... We met after graduating high school. She was a straight-A student going to the University of California San Diego, I delivered pizza while going to a technical school for graphic design. We had ups and downs, actually broke up 3 times (sometimes I broke it up, sometimes she did), but we always got back together. I don't see myself as cold as the stereotypical INTP. I believe in second, sometimes even third chances.

    Then we both get DUI's (separately) and seeing each other got more difficult. I moved a little further away, and we probably only saw each other at most twice a week. This was about 14 months ago, neither of us had a job, or a driver's license, or a clue anymore. We just hung out, drank, and slept together. I told her that I didn't want to break up with her.. but I just needed some time (to myself) to get back on my feet. She couldn't understand.

    She called me one day while I was in the pool with a friend and said to me those fateful words "I started seeing someone else" ..... "but I don't want you to stop talking to me".....

    After everything that happened between us, and with the dire straights our lives were in... a part of me was happy that she found someone to give her the love she wants, but the other part felt completely empty. Now I say I'm only 23, but this was the worst moment in my life, having nothing else to hold on to... I'm actually surprised I've made it as far as I have, but shit is still so wrong.

    I tried to be friends with her after not talking for about 8 months. (sigh) she's hooked on heroin, and she hasn't even started working on getting her license back... basically the party never ended... and it's still going. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with it, but while I wasn't talking to her, I got my license back, got a car, and started my career with Sony Online Entertainment. 2009 was the hardest and most lonely year I've ever had, and she'll never know. So, my problem.

    I have everything anybody could ever want at my age. I'm single, I have any awesome job, I have an amazing car (1979 super beetle), and I've got some friends (even though I swear they're retarded). I was much happier in a broken relationship than I am now all alone. Some days I delete her from my facebook friends list, convinced that going back to ignoring her will help me move on.. some days I add her back, hoping that I can find the courage to help her, help her through her addiction and that would in turn make me happy, but every time I see her face, everything inside me implodes. and there's nothing left but space inside my chest. It would be alright if she didn't keep IM'ing me talking about how shitty her life is and how she can't control it every week. I need help..

    She's an ENFJ

    thank you for anything

  7. #17
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    @ dactyl.

    Getting over a relationship is a long and painful process. But it sounds like you still love her and want to help her... it also sounds like you don't have your priorities straight. Part of you still loves her, and part of you wants to let go.

    So what do you want? Focusing on those two different things at once won't fix it...

    Also... really sorry to hear about that.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by dactyl View Post
    bump. Hi, I'm Nick. I'm 23. I've been reading for about a month, and I finally decided to join. Hi

    So, I broke up with my girlfriend of whom I was with for 4 years, a little over a year ago and I'm starting to think I might need to see a therapist or something. Generally, I'm against the idea of paying somebody money to hear me out, but I really don't know what else to do... We met after graduating high school. She was a straight-A student going to the University of California San Diego, I delivered pizza while going to a technical school for graphic design. We had ups and downs, actually broke up 3 times (sometimes I broke it up, sometimes she did), but we always got back together. I don't see myself as cold as the stereotypical INTP. I believe in second, sometimes even third chances.

    Then we both get DUI's (separately) and seeing each other got more difficult. I moved a little further away, and we probably only saw each other at most twice a week. This was about 14 months ago, neither of us had a job, or a driver's license, or a clue anymore. We just hung out, drank, and slept together. I told her that I didn't want to break up with her.. but I just needed some time (to myself) to get back on my feet. She couldn't understand.

    She called me one day while I was in the pool with a friend and said to me those fateful words "I started seeing someone else" ..... "but I don't want you to stop talking to me".....

    After everything that happened between us, and with the dire straights our lives were in... a part of me was happy that she found someone to give her the love she wants, but the other part felt completely empty. Now I say I'm only 23, but this was the worst moment in my life, having nothing else to hold on to... I'm actually surprised I've made it as far as I have, but shit is still so wrong.

    I tried to be friends with her after not talking for about 8 months. (sigh) she's hooked on heroin, and she hasn't even started working on getting her license back... basically the party never ended... and it's still going. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with it, but while I wasn't talking to her, I got my license back, got a car, and started my career with Sony Online Entertainment. 2010 was the hardest and most lonely year I've ever had, and she'll never know. So, my problem.

    I have everything anybody could ever want at my age. I'm single, I have any awesome job, I have an amazing car (1979 super beetle), and I've got some friends (even though I swear they're retarded). I was much happier in a broken relationship than I am now all alone. Some days I delete her from my facebook friends list, convinced that going back to ignoring her will help me move on.. some days I add her back, hoping that I can find the courage to help her, help her through her addiction and that would in turn make me happy, but every time I see her face, everything inside me implodes. and there's nothing left but space inside my chest. It would be alright if she didn't keep IM'ing me talking about how shitty her life is and how she can't control it every week. I need help..

    She's an ENFJ

    thank you for anything
    Congrats dude. I mean that seriously. I know you love her, but this is a good thing.

  9. #19
    He who laughs
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    Like Jennifer says obsession can occur in intps. I know that if I have nothing better to do, I obsess about people of the opposite sex if I have an interest in them or something is left up in the air. Closure is the best thing, honesty and so on. Then I find it pretty easy to move on, but if you are an enfp and like keeping things open in the way you communicate, then there will be something to obsess over. I did this with an enfp once.

    One thing to take in to consideration is his experience in romance. I know that when I was younger it was way harder for me. INTPs dont handle new experienced emotions well, we react like children sometimes. But once the emotion is tried, we can handle pretty much all, even emotional abuse (sarcasm).

    And Dactyl: Best advice is to take some time do an objective assessment of if it will be probable you can help her. Otherwise as McGuffin says....

    And dont think you can keep yourself away from her, its bound to fail. Take time to figure it out, talk to a trusted friend. Or start an onlinejournal, just get you words out there. So you can look at them objectively after a while.

  10. #20
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
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    I think you need to come to terms with how you honestly feel about her, first. Where do you stand? Then...

    If you think you have the strength and capacity to help her, however that's done, do it. But be prepared for the worst possible outcome. If you think you can deal with it, I don't see why you can't help out an old friend.

    If not. Then sever all ties. Delete, delete and delete. (IM, phone and Facebook). And let it burn. You seem to have improved your life during your time apart. Maybe keeping up the pace is the best solution right now.

    Maybe that's terrible advice. Perhaps a therapist could help you cope, if you say your friends are retarded.

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