I have grown essentially oblivious of most things in the world with age. Another side effect of this is avoidance towards the majority of people, because they either confuse me or I dont understand them. And since I am as easily motivated as demotivated, I've lost a lot of intrest in the world of the years.
This a kinda dangerous thing for me, cause it leads to depressions I never saw coming.
Yet I've recognized that I am fundamentally intrested in learning, solving mysteries or creating things. Since I am living at my gf's place lately, I had to change a lot of my lazy lifestyle and nowadays have more power to work on my projects and to actually do something. She activated me a bit from a long period of phlegmatism. This is basically the best thing that ever happened to me and tho I am nowadays still very avoidant of the real world, I at least am fascinated again by simple documentaries or sci-fi series which present you with new moods. Or I am intrested in intresting projects I learned about and to understand all the knowledge about the cosmos.
So my basica motivation in the mornings is curiosity and eagerness for the new. If someone takes that away from me, I'll die
"How dreadful!" cried Lord Henry. "I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect." ~ Oscar Wilde - The picture of Dorian Gray
Do you pursue material wealth, knowledge, power, peace? Knowledge, certainly. Material wealth, yes but not at the cost of the things I love most. Power and peace...maybe power but not world domination. Peace, I don't know that there is a such thing. In my own house, yes but outside of that...probably not.
Do you care where you will be ten years from now? Do you have a concrete plan for the next decade? Very much so and I have a concrete plan and contingency plans and back up plans for those.
Do you have a detailed agenda for the next week? Or do you take it one day at a time? I can't even imagine not having a detailed agenda. I also plan for the one day at a time days. I love to do nothing but I have to plan for it.
Do you know EXACTLY what you want, or is your purpose in life a big question mark? I've achieved much of what I wanted. I continue on that path, adding things as I go along.
Wow, you are just like me.
I am frightened of people that take it "one day at a time;" I have nightmares over that maxim.
It's like saying "I am going to build a house one brick at a time with no blueprint to follow" or "I am going to build a brick wall one brick at a time but I have no idea why I am building it in the first place."
I literally have the next decade of my life planned out. And of course, contingency plans over contingency plans all laid out just in case things go south.
Do you pursue material wealth, knowledge, power, peace?
I pursue wealth only because it will allow me to have power over myself, so that I may finally live out my life in peace. So many times I said "life sucks", but now I know it's not life that sucks, it is society.
Do you care where you will be ten years from now? Do you have a concrete plan for the next decade?
Yes, I don't want to live within a society but if I happen to be amongst one, I'd hope it would be a deviation from the current society. Maybe something like the elder days where people had a plot of land and were free to do with it what they wanted. Now you can barely go somewhere without being on "private property".
Do you have a detailed agenda for the next week? Or do you take it one day at a time?
I don't do detailed well; I often rebel against what's "suppose" to be done.
Do you know EXACTLY what you want, or is your purpose in life a big question mark?
I know I don't want to live within this society, but it's almost a catch-22 because I have to live amongst society (for a bit) so I can gather enough resources to live on my own.
“'Fuck', I think. What a beautiful word. If I could say only one thing for the rest of my life, that would be it.”