User Tag List

First 23456 Last

Results 31 to 40 of 58

  1. #31

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Engineer View Post
    Yes, this is definitely an issue for me as well. The best I can do to express interest is sort of linger around for a brief period of time in between other activities or make a deliberate effort to stand next to or near them during those events. Aside from that, I don't usually do much else, I just work and carry on my usual routine and expect them to engage first. Kind of a backwards strategy, but I haven't been able to change it as of yet.
    Same here. It takes a lot effort to go up to someone I don't know. Usually I'll meet a girl through a mutual friend and try to figure out if she likes me before I ask them out to lunch/coffee. If it's someone I don't know I have to be very sure before I approach.

  2. #32
    Dependable Skeleton Engineer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    627

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    The key is to find someone with their own life goals and interests. Then, each of you stands on your own two feet, just together instead of alone. No resentment, no jealousy, no clinginess. Everything in balance.
    This is what I've been striving for. It'd be my dream, honestly. Neither of us getting in each other's way, but being there to help and build. But... I keep looking in all the wrong places and to the wrong people. I have a tendency to rush into things, probably because I'm a Type 6 and feel the need for that security.

    Quote Originally Posted by Owlesque View Post
    It's rare for me to be even remotely proactive or assertive in these kinds of situations because I'm so hesitant and obsessed with working out all the possible outcomes, so when I do act and it doesn't work in my favour or seems to drag on forever, I drop it and move on. We're still friends and there is still banter, but I keep it at the platonic line.
    See, I do this as well, but then I get stuck on the relationship because I feel like I could possibly "repair" or "fix" it so that they won't move on. When they make clear they're done, I'm usually faster on the turnaround time then them, however. Anyone else do that here? It takes me only a couple days to bounce back from a relationship, no matter how long it was... I wish I had your ability to just drop it, Owlesque. It'd probably do me good.

    Quote Originally Posted by PsychedelicPlatypus View Post
    I've been with an INTP for a little over two years. I think they may be my favorite type
    That does it, I'm on the lookout for an xNTP for sure now, haha!

    Quote Originally Posted by sciguy90 View Post
    Same here. It takes a lot effort to go up to someone I don't know. Usually I'll meet a girl through a mutual friend and try to figure out if she likes me before I ask them out to lunch/coffee. If it's someone I don't know I have to be very sure before I approach.
    I usually am the one who does the meeting... I tend to actually draw in female attention, which sort of annoys me, because I'd rather have them not be interested in me than be interested in me and then find out I am totally not compatible with their personality or agenda. But definitely what you said... It takes me forever to get around to actually making a move if there's mutual interest.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Ego Reparate; Ob Me Non Deficiat.
    INTJ - RCOEI - sx/sp/so - Tritype: 683 (6w5-8w9-3w4) - True Neutral
    "Yeah, wisdom always chooses/These black eyes and these bruises"
    "Over the heartache that they say/Never completely goes away..."

  3. #33
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    4 so/sp
    Posts
    6,931

    Default

    My intj (who is 28, going on 29) hadn't really been in a relationship until he was 26 or 27, and that first one he doesn't even consider a relationship per se, as it was only a few months long and was long-distance so they rarely saw each other anyway. I am basically his first girlfriend, and we've known each other for 8 months, been dating for 7.

    I will say given some of his trust issues and in his words very early on when he panicked about a month into it: 'However, what I lack is any sort of vision of a relationship where I am involved. This makes it very difficult >(closer to impossible) to know what I could want. I'm currently revisiting my original decision to start meeting people with more than "just >friends" intentions, and may abandon that completely. We'll see, that takes some time to think about.'....

    .....that those first 2-3 months I didn't feel solid at all in the relationship and how he felt and if he'd even be able to get to a place where he could accept the impossibility of being able to predict things of this nature, accept his lack of control, and most importantly, get to a place where even if he couldn't conceptualize of his role in a relationship or what exactly he envisioned himself wanting (because he'd never been in one before), that he could realize that some of those things can be discovered and learned while going in - that his black-and-white distinctions/categories between various types of relationships could be expanded into a thousand other possibilities or categories.

    Anyway. I think with INT's it takes a pretty significant degree of security and patience from the other, at least initially - and being ok with some of the lack of visible cues/signals that they're into you. I would imagine that's a big role in why many might end up ending things with INT's pretty early on, after a month or so - because you guys don't give very clear signals into where you stand on the relationship. And, you know, that's fine... I mean I could see other elements that gave me enough security and reasonable belief that he was into me (Primarily: He was incorporating me into his life by giving me his Time - which I know he doesn't do for many).... but again, I'm pretty sure that years ago I would have needed more signals and very well may have ended it pretty early.

    But anyway. After those first few months, and after I think he cleared up things in his head, things have been awesome and I feel really solid in the relationship and feel solid in him being solid in it.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

    My Photography and Watercolor Fine Art Prints!!! Cascade Colors Fine Art Prints
    https://docs.google.com/uc?export=do...Gd5N3NZZE52QjQ

  4. #34
    Member raminda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    MBTI
    xNTP
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Posts
    55

    Default

    So, I am nineteen, so I don't exactly have loads of experience, but I have a little. I've had three "real" relationship, with guys, and then one with a girl that I'm not sure how to categorize but I don't know her type anyways so let's just ignore her.

    The first guy I was like fourteen and it was the most stupid thing I've ever done. I think he's an ESFP and every time a chance to spite me has presented it to him the years since he has taken it. He ended it after three months. Idiot.

    The next one was either ISTP or ISTJ, and it was nice and all but it got boring and my Fe started manifesting itself in making me a manipulative bitch, and we mboth noticed and then I fell in love with someone else and ended it.

    The guy I fell in love with is the one I am with now. We've been together for two and a half year, and it's a long distance relationship. He's INTJ. It works really well. We text each other and talk on msn a lot, and then we see each others during summer and school breaks. His "no bullshit" attitude is really good for me - I'm prone to sulking and he tells me to stop, and when I'm actually sad he helps me come up with a constructive solution instead of clichés. I am all for advocating INTJ/INTP relationships.

  5. #35
    small potatoes NotOfTwo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    511

    Default

    6 yrs w ESFJ, 4 yrs w ISTJ, 2 yrs hot and cold w INTP. Still in recovery from that last one. The line was cut but I still have the hook in me.

  6. #36
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,489

    Default

    (not an INTx, feel free to ignore)

    Did any of them say why they broke up with you? 5 non-serious relationships is quite a lot to jump through in 2 years (well, to me it is). I'm wondering how selective you are in picking potential relationship partners if it's not even lasting 2 months (is that 2 months from the first date or from deciding to be in an exclusive relationship? do you even have the relationship talk?) I mean, whatever makes you happy, but if you don't like going through breakups every few months, maybe you could try aiming for more compatible people?

    INTx's are perfectly capable of serious relationships, although like any other type, some people just aren't mature enough for serious relationships until their 20s or even later. Not to say this is the case for you, it's just that it's not all that bizarre in general. (but I had a relationship for 2 years with an INTJ at the start of university, so I know first-hand that the type is capable of serious relationships, if I were to doubt that in the first place).
    -end of thread-

  7. #37
    Dependable Skeleton Engineer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    627

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    Did any of them say why they broke up with you? 5 non-serious relationships is quite a lot to jump through in 2 years (well, to me it is). I'm wondering how selective you are in picking potential relationship partners if it's not even lasting 2 months (is that 2 months from the first date or from deciding to be in an exclusive relationship? do you even have the relationship talk?) I mean, whatever makes you happy, but if you don't like going through breakups every few months, maybe you could try aiming for more compatible people?

    INTx's are perfectly capable of serious relationships, although like any other type, some people just aren't mature enough for serious relationships until their 20s or even later. Not to say this is the case for you, it's just that it's not all that bizarre in general. (but I had a relationship for 2 years with an INTJ at the start of university, so I know first-hand that the type is capable of serious relationships, if I were to doubt that in the first place).
    This is actually a really good question. The strange thing about the two of these relationships that were the most serious is that neither female gave me a decent reason as to why they wanted to discontinue it. The first girl was very nice about it, but came up with several very vague reasons that didn't quite explain why, and the second girl left me for some fellow that she had known for three days for reasons of "things just work with him." (She's a highly-damaged INTP, though, so that may explain something)
    As to compatibility, I think you're definitely correct-- I need to find someone who's compatible with me. But at the beginning of all of these relationships, the females involved all seem remarkably interested in drawing similarities between us and at least making it seem like we're super-compatible... Trust me, I hate, hate, hate going through breakups on a regular basis, especially when the majority of my peers are currently engaged in relatively-stable long-term relationships. It doesn't make me happy whatsoever.
    I am aware that I am capable of serious relationships-- I fully commit to my romantic partner once I feel like I can trust them-- but oftentimes it eventually seems like I'm either more serious about the situation than they are. I honestly feel like (and this may sound egoistic, but it's the truth) I'm generally more emotionally and mentally mature than most people I've taken an interest in and that I foolishly assume that they are just as mature when I go for it.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Ego Reparate; Ob Me Non Deficiat.
    INTJ - RCOEI - sx/sp/so - Tritype: 683 (6w5-8w9-3w4) - True Neutral
    "Yeah, wisdom always chooses/These black eyes and these bruises"
    "Over the heartache that they say/Never completely goes away..."

  8. #38
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    9,130

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I was curious as to who would be interested enough to take note. Yes, gay marriage opportunities were even rarer 10 years ago than they are today.
    If that is supposed to fool me, it is not working.

  9. #39
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    2,152

    Default

    ahh..relationships. The bane of my existence.

    When it comes to relationships I never know what the hell I'm doing. I have no idea how I make friends, they just sort of happen. And don't even get me started on girls. In my experience there are two types of girls..the ones who show interest and the ones who I'm interested in. Of the ones who show interest I find myself quickly withdrawing. Even if I like them on some level I manage to withdraw enough to make it never go anywhere. It's like I'm holding out for "the one".

    And for those girls who I have interest in (potential 'ones'), I don't even know how to approach the situation. My current romantic interest probably doesn't even know my name. I've had less than 3 legit conversations with her and all have been characterized by me being awkward (at least that what I think, I have no idea what she's thinking). So why do I like her? Well.. she exudes niceness. I have had a decent number of "small talk sessions" with her and she has always been extremely nice. Too nice imo. I find I want to get to the bottom of why she is so nice. Eventually she'll become unavailable and I'll miss out on yet another opportunity. This cycle has been going on for at least 3-4 years now. The girl before that was because she was too confident. The one before that too fun loving..

    So I either withdraw from the girls that show interest or I like a girl and have no idea what to do. I've concluded I'm just not yet ready for a relationship. I have a lot of maturing to do imo. (im 20, so no real rush imo..but it still causes me anguish.)

    If I didn't like girls so much, I'd hate them.

  10. #40
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    17,568

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    If that is supposed to fool me, it is not working.
    Just statements of fact. Sorry to disappoint . . .

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-15-2012, 10:55 PM
  2. [MBTItm] relationship problem...
    By Rebe in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 03-11-2010, 02:11 PM
  3. [ESTJ] ESTJ relationship problem...
    By MDP2525 in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-09-2009, 12:09 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO