[NT] NTs, What Makes You Lose Your Temper?

[ReflecTcelfeR]

^ Pure bloods only! Hahaha.

 

[Engineer]

Drawing me in to fix your mess when I took all the necessary steps to avoid the mess to begin with. Taking advantage of the fact that I do genuinely sympathize with people and want to help.

Projecting your insecurities onto me.

Passive aggression. Expecting me to read your mind, then getting mad when I don't.

Being dismissive of me or talking down to me.

And then leaving after I've invested so much time and effort into attempting to help you and be uncharacteristically sweet and loyal towards you, all the while writing me off as a mistake. That's a perfect description of what makes me mad. I haven't lost my temper in... years, honestly. I'm a pretty stable person, but that's the kind of stuff that gets me mad.

 

[KilgoreTrout]

I don't lose my temper often, but when I do...watch out! I go into a (short-lived) rage blackout until I grab a hold of reason again.

Things that can cause this (in a conflict):
- When the other person cannot or refuses to see the other side of the argument, source of conflict, etc...
- When I can't properly articulate what I am trying to say (this causes frustration more than anger, but it gets funneled into the emotional vortex)
- When the other person starts to project their own feelings onto my actions/words

I am not a fan of conflict. I know it is dispassionate, but I would prefer conflict to be settled in a calm way where everyone involved has a chance to speak their peace. When a problem ends in fighting, I am not normally an outwardly expressive person, so my frustration and whatever else I happen to be feeling can come out quite explosively.

 

[Agee]

Alot of stuff...don't feel like naming them but what I can think of now really...

I have a very short temper, but its mostly small things that frustrate me lasting about only around 10 seconds or less, and then I could give a fuck less and am carefree again. although it still might be in the back of my mind.

Some times I may seem in a bad mood, angry, or aggressive when talking but I am not taking what im saying too seriously and am just very passionate.

I get ANGRY...more like pure focused rage, think a more intelligent hulk, every....10 years or so. Its like I still have control over myself but im just finally letting go when this happens and really could care less about what happens now, want to destroy everything and doesn't even matter if you side with me, everything is getting fucked up. But I really don't let it get up to that point, my breaking point is almost impossible to reach.

When people think I do something random or stupid or crazy and try to take advantage of me, kinda makes me really want to just tear them apart verbally but for the sake of diplomacy I just say fuck it. For some reason I get pleasure from having power over others and being able to make them feel insignificant, I guess you could say its sadistic. But its only when they've done something wrong to me first, I really don't like hurting people ironically.

Another thing is...both lack of sleep and adequate levels of sleep (when just waking up) just makes me not care and irritable. During those times I won't be able to tolerate any type of bs.

 

[mippus]

For the first time in ages, I lost my temper last weekend, discussing politics with father in law who has strong points of view, based on... nothing. No television, no books, no newspapers, no nothing! Then paternalising my opinion ("you are too young to understand") really made me lose it.
That was a shocking experience. I couldn't remember being so angry and out of control...

 

[Oeufa]

I lost it today, and I mean I seriously flew off the handle. I get kind of angry often enough but I'm usually able to keep it in check. My younger brother (he's 13, and some sort of ExFP I'd guess) was doing his science homework while I was using the computer. He asked to use it for a few minutes to look up stuff for the homework, so I asked what exactly he needed it for before I'd let him on. Basically, the conversation went something like this [if I typed it out word for word we'd be here all night, and besides, it was very very repetitive]:

Him: Can I get on the internet for a few minutes?
Me: What do you need it for?
Him: I just need it for a few minutes.
Me: Yeah that's fine, but why do you need it? What are you looking up?
Him: Just move and let me on for a few minutes!
Me: Tell me what you want it for first and then I'll move.
Him: Just some science stuff. Now move.
Me: What science stuff? Show me the questions and I'll see if I can help you first.
Him: Just get out of the way!
Me: Show me the questions and then I'll let you on.

[shows me the homework. Basically he had to name 10 foods that an athlete should eat, and 10 a person trying to lose weight should eat]

Me: Ok, you don't actually need the internet for this, you just need the book. It's a bit like a puzzle.
Him: Just get out of my fucking way and let me use the computer
Me: Stop cursing. Now--
Him: Just move!
Me: No, you don't nee--
Him: MOVE
Me: Shut up for a second will you?
Him: Just get out of my way!!
Me: No, look, the answers are in the book, let me show you
Him: They're not! MOVE!
Me: Stop shouting at me. Listen, athletes need lots of energy, right?
Him: Get out of my way!
Me: No, listen. What foods have lots of energy? The answer's in the boo--
Him: IT'S NOT IN THE BOOK! MOVE!
Me: You're not supposed to use the internet for this question. You just need to think about it and use the information in the book. That's the point.
Him: You're a fucking idiot, you know that? A fucking idiot. *kicks my chair*

At this point, I admittedly lost my head completely and pushed him away from me. He stumbled and fell on his back halfway across the room. OOPS. I just got so frustrated that he wasn't listening to what I was trying to explain to him. I could have just ignored him and let him use the internet, but that was basically cheating. Is he going to be able to use the internet in his exam? No.

So I guess people refusing to listen or even consider the possibility that they might be wrong or there might be another way make me snap.

 

[NPcomplete]

- People who ask me for my opinion and then proceed to not listen to it while I am explaining myself. Why ask if you don't care?

- People who are talking just to hear themselves. If you love the sound of your voice so much, just record yourself and listen to it. Why make me suffer through that?

- People who keep whining about the same thing over and over when there's CLEARLY a solution but they are too scared to adopt it. I may be a good listener and problem-solver but I have my limits too!

- People of the intellectual laziness variety.

- People who refuse to see things from other perspectives make me seethe. Seriously, when person A has told person B something, what is the point of B trying to interpret it from B's point of view. Try at least to see what A meant???? How many times do I have to say this?

- Speaking of repeating, when I have to repeat the same thing ad infinitum. Example: how many times do I have to tell you that I'm allergic to this and that?

- People who use "tradition" and "place in society" or similar concepts as an excuse.

- People who belittle others to make themselves look good.

- People who think they know me completely and hence think they know what I want.

- People who try to control me and plan my days etc. I don't mind it when some people do it, but some others just assume that I'll go with the plan. I guess it also depends on the way they do it.

- People who think I can read their minds and know what's wrong.

- Incompetence and inefficiency.

Seriously though, I don't get angry too often. Even when I contemplate about ranting and start ranting, at some point, it feels futile so I just stop.

 

[Dolls Only]

people who are rude for absolutely no reason at all.
too much emotion resulting in people who can't be reasoned with.
condescension.
pointless repetition.

 

[Arthur Schopenhauer]

I've never "blown up."

 

[onemoretime]

When people refuse to trust my judgment about a risky course of action (provided that they're not directly involved), or when they act as if I haven't thought something through. If you see something different, give me the data, so I can come to a determination with that in mind.

 

[highlander]

This probably can be viewed as a spectrum of mild annoyance to out right losing my temper. All relate to feelings of anger. These are a few examples of things that would tend to fuel it:
- When I'm under stress
- When somebody does poor quality work
- When I lose things and can't find them
- When I think someone is stubborn and not listening
- When I'm in a hurry and something goes wrong (like I can't find something)
- When somebody cuts me off or does some other stupid thing when I'm driving where I have a momentary fear of getting in an accident
- When I'm interrupted and intensely in the middle of something - like a telephone solicitor calling when I'm in the middle of working on something and deeply concentrating on it

I try and use the anger in a productive way. There is energy that can be used for productive ends if it can be contained/managed. I don't believe in squashing the feelings or letting them fester. It's better to let it wash through you. That being said, it can be pretty stupid to get angry over dumb things, which I can be guilty of but try not to.

 

[Lark]

All kinds of things, although usually its a kind of internal explosion and I dont let it show.

Mainly its people, I hate abuses of power, bullies and sometimes when people are having a complete meltdown and ruining everyones day around them and dont bloudy know it, I'd just like to scream "get your feelings under control!" and then just reduce them to dust with a heavy machine gun.

 

[AOA]

The only thing that makes me lose my temper is when I'm on my own to do a task I'm sure should be like *this* - but instead is faced with situational hardships. I hate it when an action never goes to plan...

 

[Eric B]

Powerlessness.
Especially against things that seem stupid.
Hypocrisy such as when a burden is placed on you, but whoever is putting it on you exempts themselves.

This, plus that people also mention the incompetence or whininess of others (which can irritate me as well sometimes) is more evidence that NT fits this group:
http://www.pastoral-counseling-center.org/Temperament-Area-of-Control/choleric-control.htm
Like #4 on the bottom ("Weaknesses" section) shows this, though for the INTP, being introverted and informative, they will not seek to control others as much, and hence, they often don't identify with it. The traits are clearly there, though.

 

[Arthur Schopenhauer]

- People in a position of power who are either undeserving or incapable of fulfilling their role.
- Injustice, especially against the innocent. (Bullies, abusive people, etc. harming people with good hearts can really irritate me)
- Being unable to do something that need, need, needs to be done is extremely frustrating. It's excruciatingly maddening, being forced into a state of incapability knowing full-well that you could solve that situation if the barrier wasn't there.
- On occasion, ignorant people. However, this depends on what that person is ignorant about as well as how they're behaving about it.
- Shallow jokes can irritate me... Especially when I'm bombarded by them for hours on end... I can only take so many "that's what she saids" and "(insert crude/homophobic/unfunny joke here)" before I retreat into my mind.
- People who can't drive.
- Greedy people irritate me very, very much.
- People without self-respect or class also irritate me.

I never "blow up" externally though. I tend to seethe internally.

 

[Stigmata]

-Logical inconsistency in others
-Being forced to endure the excessive amount of mundane chatter that accompanies most instances of human interaction
-Failing at trivial tasks
-Anything that deviates from my personal ideal of what "makes sense"
-Having to deal with overly contentious individuals who refuse to be reasoned with, or that block out compelling arguments with a titanium shield forged with their ignorance and delusion
-Loud noises that I'm not directly in control of
-Any instance of waiting in which the time of wait is not clearly defined

 

[CalmNudist]

Feeling cramped in any way!

 

[wildcat]

What makes NTs blow up?

I find that I have trouble controlling my temper when a problem occurs that I think could have easily been avoided.

I also have a real problem controlling it when I'm in a situation where a strong emotional response is provoked. Yes--I get mad about being mad...sad...any intense emotion.

Sadness precedes madness.
An emotion.

What brings about NT sadness?
Pious incoherence. A dishonest (= illogical) viewpoint. Feigned logic.
Not an emotion.

A non-emotion of the emotional brings about an emotion in the non-emotional.
Why?
Assumed piety is deceit.

 

[INTPness]

When someone continues to harp on something because they think they can coerce me into getting their way.

For example:

"You shouldn't go to place X." (or do activity Y, or spend your time with project Z)
Me: Why do you say that?
"Because I think this and I think that and that's my opinion."
Me: OK, well, thanks for your opinion. I respect it, but I'm still going with X.
"Well, just make sure that you've thought it through."
Me: Uhhh, I'm a freakin' INTP - I'm pretty sure I've thought it through about 400 times longer than than I probably should have already. But, yeah, I'm still going with X. Thanks for the concern though.
"Well, here's another reason that it's wrong."
Me (showing huge restraint at this point): Yeah, so if you'd like to join me at place X, feel free to come along. If not, don't bring it up to me again. We've hashed it out, we obviously disagree, now leave me alone about it. No hard feelings, just DO NOT continue to apply pressure and to try to coerce me. The more you do it, the more the door will shut.

It's kind of like an unwritten "3 strikes rule" with me. Ask me once, I'll consider your reasoning and give you my response. Ask a 2nd time, I will politely let you know that you are starting to push my buttons and that you should probably stop right at this point. Ask a 3rd time (not just a simple question, but a coercive "You must do it my way" type of thing), you're going to get shut down pretty hard because you didn't listen to my previous responses nor did you take them seriously.

 

[wildcat]

- People in a position of power who are either undeserving or incapable of fulfilling their role.
- Injustice, especially against the innocent. (Bullies, abusive people, etc. harming people with good hearts can really irritate me)
- Being unable to do something that need, need, needs to be done is extremely frustrating. It's excruciatingly maddening, being forced into a state of incapability knowing full-well that you could solve that situation if the barrier wasn't there.
- On occasion, ignorant people. However, this depends on what that person is ignorant about as well as how they're behaving about it.
- Shallow jokes can irritate me... Especially when I'm bombarded by them for hours on end... I can only take so many "that's what she saids" and "(insert crude/homophobic/unfunny joke here)" before I retreat into my mind.
- People who can't drive.
- Greedy people irritate me very, very much.
- People without self-respect or class also irritate me.

I never "blow up" externally though. I tend to seethe internally.

I do not disagree.
One reservation, though.
People who can't drive.

Your impatience is not their thing.
It is your thing.