Drawing me in to fix your mess when I took all the necessary steps to avoid the mess to begin with. Taking advantage of the fact that I do genuinely sympathize with people and want to help.
Projecting your insecurities onto me.
Passive aggression. Expecting me to read your mind, then getting mad when I don't.
Being dismissive of me or talking down to me.
And then leaving after I've invested so much time and effort into attempting to help you and be uncharacteristically sweet and loyal towards you, all the while writing me off as a mistake. That's a perfect description of what makes me mad. I haven't lost my temper in... years, honestly. I'm a pretty stable person, but that's the kind of stuff that gets me mad.
I don't lose my temper often, but when I do...watch out! I go into a (short-lived) rage blackout until I grab a hold of reason again.
Things that can cause this (in a conflict):
- When the other person cannot or refuses to see the other side of the argument, source of conflict, etc...
- When I can't properly articulate what I am trying to say (this causes frustration more than anger, but it gets funneled into the emotional vortex)
- When the other person starts to project their own feelings onto my actions/words
I am not a fan of conflict. I know it is dispassionate, but I would prefer conflict to be settled in a calm way where everyone involved has a chance to speak their peace. When a problem ends in fighting, I am not normally an outwardly expressive person, so my frustration and whatever else I happen to be feeling can come out quite explosively.
"Everyone who believes in telekinesis, raise my hand."
Alot of stuff...don't feel like naming them but what I can think of now really...
I have a very short temper, but its mostly small things that frustrate me lasting about only around 10 seconds or less, and then I could give a fuck less and am carefree again. although it still might be in the back of my mind.
Some times I may seem in a bad mood, angry, or aggressive when talking but I am not taking what im saying too seriously and am just very passionate.
I get ANGRY...more like pure focused rage, think a more intelligent hulk, every....10 years or so. Its like I still have control over myself but im just finally letting go when this happens and really could care less about what happens now, want to destroy everything and doesn't even matter if you side with me, everything is getting fucked up. But I really don't let it get up to that point, my breaking point is almost impossible to reach.
When people think I do something random or stupid or crazy and try to take advantage of me, kinda makes me really want to just tear them apart verbally but for the sake of diplomacy I just say fuck it. For some reason I get pleasure from having power over others and being able to make them feel insignificant, I guess you could say its sadistic. But its only when they've done something wrong to me first, I really don't like hurting people ironically.
Another thing is...both lack of sleep and adequate levels of sleep (when just waking up) just makes me not care and irritable. During those times I won't be able to tolerate any type of bs.
For the first time in ages, I lost my temper last weekend, discussing politics with father in law who has strong points of view, based on... nothing. No television, no books, no newspapers, no nothing! Then paternalising my opinion ("you are too young to understand") really made me lose it.
That was a shocking experience. I couldn't remember being so angry and out of control...
I lost it today, and I mean I seriously flew off the handle. I get kind of angry often enough but I'm usually able to keep it in check. My younger brother (he's 13, and some sort of ExFP I'd guess) was doing his science homework while I was using the computer. He asked to use it for a few minutes to look up stuff for the homework, so I asked what exactly he needed it for before I'd let him on. Basically, the conversation went something like this [if I typed it out word for word we'd be here all night, and besides, it was very very repetitive]:
Him: Can I get on the internet for a few minutes?
Me: What do you need it for?
Him: I just need it for a few minutes.
Me: Yeah that's fine, but why do you need it? What are you looking up?
Him: Just move and let me on for a few minutes!
Me: Tell me what you want it for first and then I'll move.
Him: Just some science stuff. Now move.
Me: What science stuff? Show me the questions and I'll see if I can help you first.
Him: Just get out of the way!
Me: Show me the questions and then I'll let you on.
[shows me the homework. Basically he had to name 10 foods that an athlete should eat, and 10 a person trying to lose weight should eat]
Me: Ok, you don't actually need the internet for this, you just need the book. It's a bit like a puzzle.
Him: Just get out of my fucking way and let me use the computer
Me: Stop cursing. Now--
Him: Just move!
Me: No, you don't nee--
Me: Shut up for a second will you?
Him: Just get out of my way!!
Me: No, look, the answers are in the book, let me show you
Him: They're not! MOVE!
Me: Stop shouting at me. Listen, athletes need lots of energy, right?
Him: Get out of my way!
Me: No, listen. What foods have lots of energy? The answer's in the boo--
Him: IT'S NOT IN THE BOOK! MOVE!
Me: You're not supposed to use the internet for this question. You just need to think about it and use the information in the book. That's the point.
Him: You're a fucking idiot, you know that? A fucking idiot. *kicks my chair*
At this point, I admittedly lost my head completely and pushed him away from me. He stumbled and fell on his back halfway across the room. OOPS. I just got so frustrated that he wasn't listening to what I was trying to explain to him. I could have just ignored him and let him use the internet, but that was basically cheating. Is he going to be able to use the internet in his exam? No.
So I guess people refusing to listen or even consider the possibility that they might be wrong or there might be another way make me snap.
And yes, there are such things as INTPs who overuse emoticons
- People who ask me for my opinion and then proceed to not listen to it while I am explaining myself. Why ask if you don't care?
- People who are talking just to hear themselves. If you love the sound of your voice so much, just record yourself and listen to it. Why make me suffer through that?
- People who keep whining about the same thing over and over when there's CLEARLY a solution but they are too scared to adopt it. I may be a good listener and problem-solver but I have my limits too!
- People of the intellectual laziness variety.
- People who refuse to see things from other perspectives make me seethe. Seriously, when person A has told person B something, what is the point of B trying to interpret it from B's point of view. Try at least to see what A meant???? How many times do I have to say this?
- Speaking of repeating, when I have to repeat the same thing ad infinitum. Example: how many times do I have to tell you that I'm allergic to this and that?
- People who use "tradition" and "place in society" or similar concepts as an excuse.
- People who belittle others to make themselves look good.
- People who think they know me completely and hence think they know what I want.
- People who try to control me and plan my days etc. I don't mind it when some people do it, but some others just assume that I'll go with the plan. I guess it also depends on the way they do it.
- People who think I can read their minds and know what's wrong.
- Incompetence and inefficiency.
Seriously though, I don't get angry too often. Even when I contemplate about ranting and start ranting, at some point, it feels futile so I just stop.
When people refuse to trust my judgment about a risky course of action (provided that they're not directly involved), or when they act as if I haven't thought something through. If you see something different, give me the data, so I can come to a determination with that in mind.