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  1. #1
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    Default Types that make you "shut down"?

    ENFJ's are terrifying.

    Well female ones, male ones get baffled by me. I dont even know what it is with ENFJ's, but several different females of the type ive met have left me feeling just strange. So i think i could make an assumption that i have a tendency to be confused particularly by ENFJ's.

    They just strangely observe your every awkward move and theyve got some kind of mystical ability to strategically make assumptions of you and all sorts of strange things. Usually they're really helpful and nice in a weird way, and they sniff out what kind of person you are really fast and then decide that your boring. To me thats weird.
    I'm armed with NT sarcasm and sometimes even ENTP'ish randomness against about all the other types, but the systematic Fe-Ni combo i cant handle. It's annoying because no matter how hard i try i cant get over the nervousness, always nice to see N's in the sea of sensors, but i cant show "the true me" to ENFJ's. They just presume im an ISTJ and proceed with whatever they were doing.

    I think there even was a thread of this ENFJ talking about some INTP girl he'd never payed attention to, until lately after he found out she might have some sense in her head through some chess related incident? To me it seems that ENFJ's are sometimes "blinded by their social competence"? Not sure if i can express it right, but it seems that they sometimes overlook especially more introverted peoples potential. Befriending ENFJ's is complicated, at least for me. ENFJ's make me shut down, theres nothing i can say without feeling dumb, plus every move i make feels awkward. Maybe its the feelings everywhere thingy theyve got? Strange strange ENFJ's.

    Do you people have a particular type that tends to make you shut down? Kind of interested in NT responses so i put this here but guess everyone can post?

  2. #2
    Phantonym
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    E's overwhelm me sometimes; sometimes I might overwhelm the I's, either way, I'm prone to shutting down if I sense discomfort in myself or in others. Hm, come to think of it, every possible combination of types can make me feel like that, depending on the circumstances, so I'm not going to discriminate.

  3. #3
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    Hummm...that is interesting. I dated an INTP for a year and a half and it didn't work out, but we are still friends (for 6 years now). I'm thinking of paying him a visit this weekend. Strangely (based on your post), what I like best about him is that I can say ANYTHING to him and he is fine with it...he never gets rattled by me whereas other people do. I do "see" things when it comes to emotions and human behavior in general that he seems to be oblivious to (including things about him). He knows that understanding people and emotions is not his bag and seems very interested on my take on things. Despite in INTP stereotype, he is one of the most confident people I know...nothing seems to make him uncomfortable.

    I do know for a fact that some people very uncomfortable. I am very direct and ask penetrating questions. Sometimes I will preface it with, "You don't have to answer this if it makes you uncomfortable..." but other times, I don't realize I have gone too far until I see people's reactions. I think things that seem benign to me (questions about people's emotions, ideals and motives) feel very personal or is something that the other person doesn't want to think about and sometime I think they may feel judged by me. I might say something like, "You think that X person doesn't like you anymore, so you are withdrawing. But aren't you creating the exact situation you fear? Being abandoned by X person? Why are you afraid to talk to them about the situation?" Things like this are waaaaaaay too much for some people. I sincerely don't mean anything negative by it. There are no underlying judgments. I'm just asking questions about something that seems apparent to me. But the other person just want to say, "X person is being a jerk." and move on. I get that...sometime it just takes a bit to figure out other people's limits.

    I hope this post didn't make you feel uncomfortable

    As for me, no there is no type that makes me uncomfortable. My bff's are ESFJ, ENTJ, ISTP, and ESTP. I adore introverts (I really do), but I will say that overall my relationships with extroverts tend to be less tumultuous.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
    Intuitive (N) 65.63%..........Sensing (S) 34.38%
    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  4. #4
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    Hmm. Think i should've mentioned that i am somewhat close friends with an ENFJ. Not sure why i didnt point that out, mightve left a vital part out. Now that i look at my post i think it seems to give a pretty negative picture of ENFJ's.

    BUT? Still? To achieve that level of friendship i had to go through an extensive period of awkwardness and general nervousness. Never had that with any other type. And ive met a few more ENFJ's after befriending her? And it seems every new ENFJ comes with yet another phase of awkwardness.

    Direct penetrating questions, yes, the Fe filled bombs. Took me a LONG time to find a defense mechanism for those. But it was a shock to her when i started getting comfortable and actually let out some of my unicorn filled ideas. And strangely, The ENFJ friend of mine too mentioned that "not getting rattled" thing? Apparently i remain calm whatever comes up in a conversation. She still occasionally does get me nervous though, especially if im feeling particularly INTP, but on those occasions everyone makes me nervous.

    But i still think that ENFJ's have been the biggest source of confusion for me.

  5. #5
    Member KilgoreTrout's Avatar
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    ENFP

    Not to be confused with dislike. A good friend of mine is an ENFP and she talks more than any person with whom I have spoken! She is so enthusiastic and her mind is always jumping from one thing to the next; this makes her very exciting but I get easily distracted and caught up in my own train of thought, making it quite difficult to continuously follow what she is saying. I have given her the disclaimer that I probably only catch about 30% of what she says...the beginning, high points in the middle, and the conclusion.

    I get mentally exhausted when I hang out with her and shut down for a day or two after a prolonged visit.
    "Everyone who believes in telekinesis, raise my hand."

  6. #6
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Individuals cause me to shut down instead of types. Coincidentally, there are two individuals in real life that I don't give the time of day to, who have tested as ESFJs. Haven't encountered this type specific issue on TypeC though so it's probably a coincidence.

  7. #7
    Senior Member ScorpioINTP's Avatar
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    I'm not sure which type. I don't consciously try to type people as a rule, but there are things/types of people that do make me shut down. It would be interesting to see if there is a pattern.

    I can't stand when I meet say a girlfriends friends and one of them says "you're quiet!" very directly in front of the group...and within like 1-2 minutes of being introduced. Rather fast to make any kind of judgement and it puts me on the hot seat and I hate that. Then anytime I do speak after that it's like all eyes on me and shock.

    Then there is my dad (ESTJ?). Anytime he offers his unwanted opinions and advice I shut down completely rather than explode 90% of the time.
    Type 6w5 sp/so/sx I think..I have not fully explored this and just discovered it.

  8. #8
    Senior Member MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    For some reason, I have to try super, super hard not to shut down around ESFJs and ESTJs. Which is odd, because one of my best friends is an ESFJ...it really takes a lot of effort not to completely shut down emotionally and clam up and not talk. Maybe because there's a pre-set notion of the sort of things I should be saying? At any rate, sometimes, I don't feel as free to be myself.

    eta: I surely did jump right into a *NT* thread. Disregard and carry on.
    I think I think more than you think I think.

  9. #9
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoSunshine View Post

    I do know for a fact that some people very uncomfortable. I am very direct and ask penetrating questions. Sometimes I will preface it with, "You don't have to answer this if it makes you uncomfortable..." but other times, I don't realize I have gone too far until I see people's reactions. I think things that seem benign to me (questions about people's emotions, ideals and motives) feel very personal or is something that the other person doesn't want to think about and sometime I think they may feel judged by me. I might say something like, "You think that X person doesn't like you anymore, so you are withdrawing. But aren't you creating the exact situation you fear? Being abandoned by X person? Why are you afraid to talk to them about the situation?" Things like this are waaaaaaay too much for some people. I sincerely don't mean anything negative by it. There are no underlying judgments. I'm just asking questions about something that seems apparent to me. But the other person just want to say, "X person is being a jerk." and move on. I get that...sometime it just takes a bit to figure out other people's limits.

    I hope this post didn't make you feel uncomfortable
    I usually tell people that relationships are a two way street ask them what are THEY doing to contribute to the situation because of course the person is a jerk. blahhhhh.... Many people don't take too kindly to that.

    Also because ENFJs seem to mention EVERYTHING they notice, I find that other ENFJs (not ESFJs) make me shut down because I am aware of the people observation thing (I do the same exact thing). A few ISFJs make me really uncomfortable.... its like pulling teeth to have conversations w/ them sometimes.

  10. #10
    Senior Member knight's Avatar
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    enfj`s as well. sometimes there are a barrage of questions and in the back of my mind Im thinking, "what are you doing?, what are you getting at?" these questions Don`t have any real connection to what they want to really ask me but they are sorta filling in the puzzle all around to know what is in the center.

    of course they don`t need to really need to ask some questions, just a glance for them works as well. which Is kind of interesting

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