[INTP] Everyone around me says I"m negative

[think2much]

I"m negative and complain a lot.

Also called me boring, for some reason this angers me a lot. I don't get people, I can't connect with them. maby it's cause my T/F is 50-50.

When I get like this I usually just say fk people, I don't need them. At the same time it isn't healthy to be alone all the time.

I don't think there's something wrong with me which makes this more frustrating.

 

[ScorpioINTP]

I feel ya brother. I get that sometimes too. I am honest. I call things like I see them. I am cynical, sarcastic and skeptical in general and its my preferred sense of humor style. I think I am a realist mostly. I see everything that can go wrong and anticipate the worse (hope for the best). I hate disappointment, so I expect the worst in an attempt to lower my own expectations. I guess I do complain alot sometimes too. I don't really think I am negative deep down. I often get the shit end of the stick, so maybe it does make me negative.

Welcome to the INTP world.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

I"m negative and complain a lot.

Also called me boring, for some reason this angers me a lot. I don't get people, I can't connect with them. maby it's cause my T/F is 50-50.

When I get like this I usually just say fk people, I don't need them. At the same time it isn't healthy to be alone all the time.

I don't think there's something wrong with me which makes this more frustrating.

Either you do care (my guess) or you're just looking to find something to be frustrated about to earn you some pity points. Or maybe it's both. Maybe you complain because you don't know who else you're supposed to be or how to connect with people. I can relate to that. I can also relate to saying there's nothing wrong with me so I don't have to face the fact that something feels incredibly off.

There's a school of therapy called Reality Therapy that posits that your relationships make up the quality of your life, and that all dysfunctional is a product of dysfunctional interpersonal relationships. Reality therapists work hard to have people examine and confront their situation so they can start to make changes. I think they're probably right.

If, by any chance, you aren't sure how to relate and who to be, the best thing you can do is be really patient and just try and do your best. You don't have to fit any standard or anyone's conception of who you're supposed to be. You can just be quiet when you're not sure what to say, or just say you're thinking. You don't have to do anything else, because eventually, if you can stay a little open-minded, your anxiety and confusion will melt away and you'll know how to be pleasant (not perfect) without sacrificing authenticity.

 

[jenocyde]

Do you agree that you complain a lot? You may or may not see this as a negative trait, but for me, I can only listen to someone bitch for so long before I snap. I can't stand whiners, either change your situation, lighten up or stfu. I hate being around mopey people more than anything in the world.

About being boring... yeah, your post showed that a bit. If you're not even interested in what you're saying, why should anyone else be?

 

[bcubchgo]

Welcome to the NT club! Your decoder ring will be in the mail.

 

[Thalassa]

I remember being a teenager and thinking INTx types were mostly dreadfully negative or boring. Mostly negative, which may sound surprising to people who have encountered me later in life when I'm known to be a little more crass and cynical. I don't think I started to like being attracted to INT types at all until I was about 21.

Are you very young?

 

[Thalassa]

Also, in all fairness, I would probably guess that most INT who met me before the age of 20 or so probably thought I was an annoying, deranged idiot or a cocktease or a whore or all of the above.

 

[Not_Me]

I"m negative and complain a lot.

Stop complaining and get a life! Just kidding.

If you know you're driving people away with the negativity, then why not strive to change your ways?

 

[think2much]

Stop complaining and get a life! Just kidding.

If you know you're driving people away with the negativity, then why not strive to change your ways?

I just stopped talking, if I don't say anything problem solved.

I'm just going through some major depression.

 

[Not_Me]

I just stopped talking, if I don't say anything problem solved.

I'm just going through some major depression.

I'm sorry to hear that. But learning to interact better better with people is not difficult and can be rewarding.

 

[Unique]

I"m negative and complain a lot.

Also called me boring, for some reason this angers me a lot. I don't get people, I can't connect with them. maby it's cause my T/F is 50-50.

When I get like this I usually just say fk people, I don't need them. At the same time it isn't healthy to be alone all the time.

I don't think there's something wrong with me which makes this more frustrating.

You can only ever be yourself

No matter your personality you'll find your niche of people to hang out with, give it time

 

[Not_Me]

Have you been check for Asperger before? A friend of mine has a mild form of it. She of often say the same thing.

 

[think2much]

Are you very young?

almost 23 so no

I'm sorry to hear that. But learning to interact better better with people is not difficult and can be rewarding.

I just can't connect to anyone so that makes it very difficult for me.

You can only ever be yourself

No matter your personality you'll find your niche of people to hang out with, give it time

If I don't change I'll be alone all my life.

Have you been check for Asperger before? A friend of mine has a mild form of it. She of often say the same thing.

I'm so sick of bunch of conditions people throw at me, I don't care about that stuff anymore ever since I was a kid people would diagnose me. "oh you might have this, u might have that" I just don't care anymore.

 

[Tamske]

Well, then you'll attract positives !

Seriously now, I agree with Unique. Don't worry about a 50/50 T-F tendency, it doesn't make you bland or anything. Probably you've got a mixture like most people actually have. T in some aspects, F in others. I've got that too, but with a quite strong T tendency. My I/E is quite on the edge, which makes me want to socialize whenever I'm alone and to be alone whenever I'm among a crowd Switching between the two makes me quite happy, though.

almost 23 so no

I found my niche about that age...

If I don't change I'll be alone all my life.

Please don't believe that. That's putting the cart before the horse. Changing for fear of loneliness?
Try to find a better reason for change.

I'm so sick of bunch of conditions people throw at me, I don't care about that stuff anymore ever since I was a kid people would diagnose me. "oh you might have this, u might have that" I just don't care anymore.

Good for you. I've got the impression that whenever you deviate from some socially accepted norm (*) people try to put a label on that and call you ill (**).

(*) You probably get the same insult as I've often got: "You've got no friends." Even now people ask me if I am able to "have friends". For a long time the insult (why is this an insult, actually, as if it's my fault people don't want to be my friend? I was quite friendly to them!) was true. And it didn't help to say "Well we can do something about that. Want to be my friend?"
But it isn't true now. I've got a pretty eclectic bunch of friends. Did I change? Probably. But I had the friends first, those people who make you throw of your mask of trying to fit with the popular ones and who actually like your real face.

(**) I know there are people who suffer from a real mental disability. I don't want to deny that. I hope they get the help they need.

 

[Not_Me]

I'm so sick of bunch of conditions people throw at me, I don't care about that stuff anymore ever since I was a kid people would diagnose me. "oh you might have this, u might have that" I just don't care anymore.

It is not done in order to explain why you are unhappy. Rather, the objective is to find an approach that would help you become happier. Look it up and see if you can relate. What do you have to lose?

 

[MoneyTick]

Mr Think2Much,

You seem to have lost direction for your life, and that explains why you are experiencing all of these problems.

You have a roadmap, but no destination.

As an NT, you don't "live for today" like SFs. Your psychology was hardwired to function in a forward fashion, meaning your mind is in restless pursuit of "something" yet that "something" has not been defined and is void.

At this moment, you may feel like life is "void" and confusing. There is also another problem - when you don't have that strong anchor to brace you in your life's goals, your emotional personality shadow begins to transpire and fills your mind with unexplainable things of the heart.

I suggest you find your destination, or goals.

Do you want a big house?
A luxury car?
Exotic vacations all over the world?
A lavish lifestyle?

Remember, its all in your mind. If you can program your mind to accept a certain goal as your destination, then all of these problems will be solved.

NTs are not "one day at a time" beings, they must be in constant action. If the action is orientated around emptiness, then the confusion and emotional episodes (i.e. depression, denial, sadness) fill the gap.

So solve the problem. Find something you want to be, and as soon as you take your eyes off this last sentence - work towards becoming it right away.

 

[think2much]

Thanks for all the good words.

I'm going through quarter life crisis and depression.
I have no romance in my life and never have.
I have no friends and I have hard time liking people.
I'm a college dropout and no future in corporate world (I don't want to)
I don't wanna do anything, I can't force myself to do something I dislike.

The reason it stress me out is that I CAN"T CHANGE this is who I am. I always been this way.
It's like ME trying to act extrovert, sure I can do it but it's mentally exhausting and can only do it short period of time.
Only thing that keeps me alive is my family but I dont' get along with them either.
last couple days I cried myself to sleep.
If I get kicked out, no one would care that I exist. I would be homeless bum.
I almost don't see the point of posting anything but I"m hoping I can get some wisdom or something.

 

[Kasper]

It's called depression, get help for that and other things will be clearer so you can actually make changes, you can't do that when you have a weight that big over you.

 

[Oeufa]

Yeah, my aunt often chided me when I was younger about being so pessimistic and moany. I seriously whinged a lot. Instead, I bought a diary (and later got a blog) and started whinging that way. I figure if I hate listening to people complain, then they can't be enjoying my complaining much either. So, air your complaints/negative views from time to time, but for the most part, keep it to yourself dude

 

[MoneyTick]

Start your own business. That will solve everything!

At least it did for me after being in your situation long ago.