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  1. #21
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    It's called depression, get help for that and other things will be clearer so you can actually make changes, you can't do that when you have a weight that big over you.
    I just don't understand how they can help me with this. I just can't connect with anyone. I was always a loner and whenever I made friends they would always leave me out. People never liked me. I just have a lot of frustration, I'm so overwhelm by it. I can start taking anit-depres pills but I don't want to do that for rest of my life and that won't solve my problem.


    Quote Originally Posted by MoneyTick View Post
    Start your own business. That will solve everything!

    At least it did for me after being in your situation long ago.
    life what kind of business? Business also cost a lot of money and extreme hours of work.

    It's just too much to study right now, the business license, tax, marketing, etc...


    the 2 main thing that bothers me the most is that I can't support myself makes me feel like such a failure at life, other thing is I want to have a relationship. Since I never been in one I just feel like there's something wrong with me due to my age.

  2. #22
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    What you're doing now won't solve your problem. Depression is overwhelming, and frustrating. Don't focus on not understanding how others can help you, if you could then you'd do it yourself, that's exactly why you seek help, they may have answers you can't come up with. I'm not saying that's the one and only answer, I'm simply saying that if you keep doing the same things you'll get the same results.

  3. #23
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I was just coming out of a depression when I joined here. It's no magic cure, but it should help you if you let it. Read about your type, identify the things that you relate to, the skills you're likely to have and never thought of before, and what they can bring you in the future. Identify those skills that you're passionate about..things you probably already do without realizing it and work on those. You'll see your passion coming back to your life, and you'll start feeling less rudderless. Also, MBTI will give you an insight into people if you like, figuring out why you like them, or not, and how it works vice versa. Plus, the internet gives an extra buffer (you can decide to just observe instead of having to be involved in a convo and learn a lot that way, or you can decide to engage and are able to leave the convo whenever you feel like it...it's a very nice sense of freedom). Give yourself some time to heal, and be curious about *who* you are and what makes you tick

    As for venting, complaining and god knows what. Vent. You need it. Just try to spread it around so you don't burden the same person over and over (coz dragging others down isn't usually appreciated as much as you need it ), and consider indeed a diary or a blog, it'll help you self-reflect, and figure things out for yourself, while not receiving a negative backlash from those that hear you complain.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  4. #24
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    I talked with counselor before when I was attending university(was no help than). I don't even know who to talk to, I also don't have the money to get professional help. Either I sleep too much or can't sleep at all.

  5. #25
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    are you kidding me $40 an hr for therapy? I need help I can't handle this frustartion anymore. Life sucks I have given up

  6. #26
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MoneyTick View Post
    Start your own business. That will solve everything!

    At least it did for me after being in your situation long ago.
    Unless you go broke.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  7. #27
    Member Jwill's Avatar
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    I don't have anyone right now, either. But, you know, I don't think it's useful to compare ourselves to other people. There is nothing wrong with you because you are alone. And being almost 23 is not that old. You've got a lot of options ahead of you. When I was younger, I had problems with negativity, too. I think one of the things that helped me was getting in touch with my SP tendencies. I tried to just not think all of the time. I began to consciously stop that inner dialogue of mine in which I analysis every little interaction with other people. I think my NT tendencies made it harder for me to enjoy physical things or surface experiences. Doing something SP-like really helped me move past some of my natural negativity.

    That being said, I still have my moments of negativity. I've felt very lonely lately and very suppressed by the tedium and seeming pointlessness of my job. I'm thinking about finding a new hobby to develop. I want to learn how to play the cello. That will give me a reason to get out of the house. It will also engage my artistic side and allow me to work at something (after reading dull reports all day) for which I actually have a passion. And who knows, I might meet someone fun along the way... Staying busy when I feel down keeps me from getting too introspective and depressed.

  8. #28
    Senior Member ScorpioINTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post
    are you kidding me $40 an hr for therapy? I need help I can't handle this frustartion anymore. Life sucks I have given up
    That's actually reasonable to be honest. I know it doesn't matter if you can't afford it, but its normally closer to $80-100/hr w/o insurance. You would probably pay $25 co pay anyhow. Do a search locally. You might be able to find something free or some program that needs volunteers. I tried a life coach for about a month that I found on craigslist (it was free for her to practice). It was at least someone to vent to, when I had no one else.

    I have the same sleep issues. Too much or not at all. It helps to have a routine of some sort and get excercise (even if you just take a mile walk a day and get some sun...it makes a difference). Try volunteering or get a dog (or volunteer at a shelter ..if you like dogs?).

    Don't get so down. You are 23 and have your whole life ahead of you. When I was your age, I was in a panic to get settled down in one place and get married, start a career etc. Never quite worked out as planned. In hindsight, I wished I traveled more and said fuck it.

    Jwill makes a good point. Its so easy to compare yourself with others, but in reality, its counterproductive. You just have to find your place in life and choose to be happy. Its not that simple, but you get the drift.
    Type 6w5 sp/so/sx I think..I have not fully explored this and just discovered it.

  9. #29
    Senior Member ScorpioINTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MoneyTick View Post

    Thankfully, most people don't know what Adderall really is or they don't bother to try it out.



    Little Secret: 35% of all of the most successful CEOs and self-made millionaires were on it early in their careers.
    Do tell us....
    Type 6w5 sp/so/sx I think..I have not fully explored this and just discovered it.

  10. #30
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    Yes, what is adderall really?

    I am not as depressed, but can completely relate to what you're going through. I am 23, just graduated from college and am looking for a job. I have been on several interviews and have not gotten the job.

    What helps is getting out there and doing something. It doesn't matter what.

    No, you can't change the core of who you are. But you can change the way you look at things. Constantly comparing yourself to others, focusing on what you do not have instead of the gifts you do have will most certainly bring anyone down.

    I started reading a book called "How to stop worrying and start living" by Dale Carnegie and it has taught me a lot. Mostly, that life is about living...not worrying about how we're not living or what we lack.

    It's really hard to get out of the slump, but we have to. Think about athletes, or musicians or business people...everyone successful in life has had to work hard for what they have. If a successful businessman sat around at the beginning of his career thinking about everything that he was lacking, or all the work that he had to do to get somewhere, he wouldn't be successful.

    Who do you look up to in life? What would you do if you could do anything? I kind of hate that question myself, but what tiny little thing brings you joy? Therapists may help, but only if you find the inspiration to change your negative thoughts/habits into positive ones.

    You don't have money, so go make some. Find a job so you can make money and feel some sense of worth. Make a goal to save up enough money to travel to another country for a week and see how other people are living. The possibilities are endless and if you really want something, you can work towards it.

    Life has a lot to do with our attitudes and the way we look at things. If we think our situations suck, they're going to suck. If we think that our goals and dreams are possible and get up every time we fall down, we just might achieve something. There is a quote that says something like "If you think you can, you can"

    I feel for you...I really do. I don't have it figured out either but believing I can do something, as opposed to thinking I don't have anything to offer right now has helped tremendously.

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