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[ENTP] scary Sensotard friend of mine (ENTP)

SpankyMcFly

Level 8 Propaganda Bot
Joined
Nov 19, 2009
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2,349
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so/sx
I would like some advise on how to get "through" to my ENTP friend.

Me and my friend will be chatting as he is driving and all of a sudden he will come to a stop at a corner. Never mind that the light is GREEN and that there are vehicles behind him. Also when the light changes from red to green I often have to point out to him that he has a green light. I am loathe to do this but sometimes there aren't people behind us to beep at him and prompt him to move so it falls on me. Mind you, this is 8+ seconds after the light change. I wonder if that is a ticketable offense? He doesn't mind this at all and is genuinely thankful about the fact that he has a co-pilot... :steam: I don't want to co-pilot!

Yeah, he is a "slight" sensortard. His lane "integrity" (how well he stays within his lane) is atrocious. About every 5 minutes of driving = 1 instance of him driving on the lane divider or crossing the lane briefly.

Needless to say I ALWAYS buckle up. I've even started poking fun at him in the hopes that he will at least try to keep his mind on the driving. He is 48 btw, and has had plenty of driving years under his belt, which when you think about it, is kinda miraculous.

I'm thinking I should do my part and just avoid conversation while he is driving. Yeah right! He is an E after all and when I stop giving him verbal feedback he just keeps yacking away totally oblivious to the fact that he has been speaking non stop for 10 minutes. :shocking:

Seriously :wtf:

Other than offering to do the driving when we hang out, which he almost always goes along with, I do not know what to do. The few occasions when I became alarmed and pointed out his lack of paying attention to his driving, usually after an incident, he became all butt hurt and he tends to hold grudges.

Advise?
 

Qre:us

New member
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
4,890
Tell him straight up that he is a hazard on the road, and that it is unfair for everyone who is sharing the road with him, and it is irrational for him to expect others to put up with it, as it's a question of SAFETY. I.e., that when he is driving, it's not only his safety, nor his co-pilot/passangers' safety that he should be aware of, be considerate about, but everyone he is sharing the road with.

If he's too distracted to drive, he should have enough self-reflection and moral gumption to know that he should not drive, or to pull over.

And tell him straight up that it makes you uncomfortable when he's yapping away, looking over at you more frequently, while conversing, rather than looking at the road.

If he wants to kill himself, due to his unmindfulness, that's fine, but that he should not potentially subject others to it, by taking their choice/fate into his hands, every time he gets behind the wheel.

Or you can sign him up for, "Canada's worst driver" show, if you're Canadian.

Or give him a gift: a free enrollment to driving safety classes.

Just tell him straight up, without mincing words, the very real consequences of his unmindfulness and that it is his responsibility, to be aware of such limitations of his, and do something about it.

If his counter is that, he has been driving without any real incidences up until then, and that your "claims" are baseless, ask him if for such a case, he really thinks it's logical to want PROOF [i.e., a serious accident to occur] before making a change. Or considering a change.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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Take the keys away from him and drive yourself - it's safer to get into a giddy slapfight than drive off the road.
 

skylights

i love
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Jul 6, 2010
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well, if it were one of my NTP family members, i'd tell them they're incompetent. those two HATE being told they're incompetent (as do i, actually, lol) and that would make them rise to a challenge. i think that's related to them being e5s too.

sadly Ne is not attention-span-friendly... :(

mostly i'd just stay out of his car... lol...
 

INTPness

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Jan 22, 2009
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Inability to multi-task. Either pull over and have a conversation on the side of the road or let him concentrate on his driving. He'll be able to do either one very well, but not both at the same time. :yes:
 

chess

New member
Joined
Jan 17, 2011
Messages
4
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ENTP
Hi Spanky;

Your entp friend doesn't sound like any entp i've met. First, entp's will rarely talk non-stop about any one subject for ten minutes (exception being something they have recently become engrossed in, having investigated every known detail since they last spoke to you).
Secondly, Ne is typically aware of their surroundings - for example being aware of the theory of road rules and the dynamics at play during road travel.
Thirdly P's are good at multi-tasking, which your friend seems not to have as a part of their skillset.

These would lead me to suspect your friend is an IJ though as your secondary is Ne I don't think you'd have overlooked their type by such a big margin.

:)
 

digesthisickness

✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
3,248
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what's a grudge? i don't have the stick-to-itiveness required for that. and 48 years old is too damned old, no matter the type, to be that damned offended over their passenger not wanting to die.

just drive yourself or speak up. i wouldn't want to find myself dead or worse myself and someone else dead one day and all i'd have to show for it was, "well, at least i was polite!"
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
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7w8
What digest said.
And also, why do you feel the burden to co-pilot? Just let people honk at him if he sits there like an asshole. Who cares?

Telling him will make him aware but it won't make him change - except for those brief moments when he remembers to be aware. If you are scared, don't drive with him.
 
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