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  1. #131
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    To provide one more perspective on Satine's original question:

    Verbal/mental puzzles/sparring can be fine, and fun, and even stimulating as long as I'm truly ready to take a break from work and projects. It provides a different kind of exertion, and seems to require a different kind of energy. Good diversion. Any kind of physical chaos, however, would not be well received. This just reaks of "chore". Disorder in my physical environment, except for projects deliberately left in progress, is not conducive to relaxation or fun in any way.

    Someone mentioned something about "if the INTJ is bored". This INTJ, at least, is hardly ever bored. There is just too much to do. Not just projects and work, but books to read, music to play, etc. etc. Adding "spice to the lives of workaholics", however, is another matter. It may seem tame, but I appreciate when my partner finds a movie I'm interested in, or a board game we haven't played lately, or spontaneously changes up the usual routine somehow (e.g. camping out in the backyard, or going for a walk at midnight).

  2. #132
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    To provide one more perspective on Satine's original question:

    Verbal/mental puzzles/sparring can be fine, and fun, and even stimulating as long as I'm truly ready to take a break from work and projects. It provides a different kind of exertion, and seems to require a different kind of energy. Good diversion. Any kind of physical chaos, however, would not be well received. This just reaks of "chore". Disorder in my physical environment, except for projects deliberately left in progress, is not conducive to relaxation or fun in any way.

    Someone mentioned something about "if the INTJ is bored". This INTJ, at least, is hardly ever bored. There is just too much to do. Not just projects and work, but books to read, music to play, etc. etc. Adding "spice to the lives of workaholics", however, is another matter. It may seem tame, but I appreciate when my partner finds a movie I'm interested in, or a board game we haven't played lately, or spontaneously changes up the usual routine somehow (e.g. camping out in the backyard, or going for a walk at midnight).
    Thanks for that input, that's partly what i was looking for. I wouldn't create physical chaos (at least not on purpose, i suck at keeping things tidy though ), but rather mental or emotional chaos. And I do like to make things that he wants and seem straight forward (aka boring!) to achieve just a *weee* bit more challenging and surprising than he expected it to be and getting him to glare at me for daring to get in his way

    Again, I don't do this when he's had a rough day though..it's more like to spice up boring routine jobs (without a deadline) on the weekend when you can use a bit of stimulation
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  3. #133
    ThatGirl
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    Do you like a challenge? When you've already got a plate full at work, and you're looking for a hobby to do aside from that, to have something *else* in your life...do you like it when someone at that point demands your attention...demands you to focus on them and deal with them? And I do mean that in a good way. Do you like it if they challenge you to a mental fight, if you will, in which the rewards can be great, but you'd better work for it?

    Or is that too similar to work? Is it in fact more work to you?

    What is it you do need?

    Curious little enfps want to know...
    I don't really like a challenge with people I care about. Assuming you are talking about romantic relationships. I have found that people who leech onto my mind, or demand my attention, and constantly try to extrovert my N functions, by default, exhaust me.

    Truth is, I am not an incredibly 'playful' person IRL. Unless nothing else is pressing.

    I do like someone who can joke around and be stimulating when nothing else is going on, or everything is done for the day. Then I can give it my complete focus and find it amusing.

    Game playing and "mental chess" is awesome, as long as there is a start and a finish. People who continue playing all the time, and prod at you incessantly to play back, looking for a reaction, bug the shit out of me.

    The only time I really LIKE someone to play with me, is in the event I am hyper focused on something that really has no significant importance. Then they can help me get out of my head a little, of which I am always thankful.

    I am more impressed by someone who uses their genius on the world, and is their comfortable self with me. Then we can collaborate together, be a team.

    The main issue is, that I use a lot of strategic thinking in everyday life, so yes coming home to it can be a chore unless it serves a purpose. Just to be close, and enjoy each others company? I could think of better ways to do that.

  4. #134
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Interesting, interesting...So dose it properly seems to be the general advice.

    I just find that when you do the 'divide and conquer' thing on the world for too long, as a couple, you are at risk of drifting apart as you're both in your own little world. I find that playfully asking for his attention, reminds him (and me) to have some 'us' time
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  5. #135
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    @TG, you find using intuition exhausting? Next time you are on Vent we should talk about the cognitive style system and how the positions affect tiredness.

  6. #136
    ThatGirl
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    I didn't say using intuition, I said extroverting intuition.

  7. #137
    ThatGirl
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    I would also like to add, I don't know what intuition is to you, but for me it is something that constantly exists in the background of my interactions, thoughts, and solutions.

    Tasks that are asked to bring that to the surface and direct it toward a specific cause are tiring, because that's not how it works.

    It can come out to play when it wants to. But usually it is just a state of being. I don't feel the need to constantly exercise it. I use it enough regularly.

  8. #138
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    Interesting, interesting...So dose it properly seems to be the general advice.

    I just find that when you do the 'divide and conquer' thing on the world for too long, as a couple, you are at risk of drifting apart as you're both in your own little world. I find that playfully asking for his attention, reminds him (and me) to have some 'us' time
    Yes, dosage and timing are both critical. The highlighted is also essential. My SO and I are so good at doing our own thing, we really do need the reminders.

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