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  1. #1
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    Default Memories of an ENTJ childhood

    So in 1st Grade I get busted for talking in class and making farting noises with my elbow and armpit. Sounds pretty ENTP, but when the teacher puts me in a box in the front of the class, I tell her in front of the other students that "Santa is a close personal friend of mine so don't be expecting any gifts at your house THIS year!" Does this sound ENTJ?

    I would love to compare stories about the a typical ENTJ childhood from anyone who might like to share.

    Example:
    I watched the news with my dad everynight from the time I was about 4 (I have clear memories of watching Nixon resign and the 1972 Olympic Israeli wrestling team kidnapping.)

    I tried to count to infinity when I was 5.

    My favorite movie at 5 was Wind and the Lion, 8 Lawerence of Arabia
    My favorite book in third grade was Mary Renault's "Fire from Heaven."

    At 10 I begged my mom for a chore list so I could control my own time . . . however my room was a complete pigsty until I turned 15.

    In 7th grade I threw a boy into the lockers for grabbing my boob (sounds ISTPish I know! LOL).

  2. #2
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Well making fart noises in class and getting caught is definitly not entp style. Making fart noises and having someone else get caught would be .

    Jokes aside, judging from the picture you create of yourself in that one post only, I'ld say entj. A key element to understanding mbti is understanding yourself first. Which means mbti doesnt tell you who you are, you tell mbti who you are; that's why they call it a system of preference.

    I had and still have sometimes the same troubles deciding whether I am an entj or entp but in the end you do find out best in interacting with others and reflecting yourself thru others. Especially at young age this is not too easy and if you are for example in a school with people who arent really from the same armlength like you, you can quickly loose focus of yourself and as an extrovert start to play chameleon so you do fit in somehow.

    If you stay on this forum for some time and chat with others so they can get to know you, you'll get the answers you're looking for.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Windigo View Post
    Example:
    I watched the news with my dad everynight from the time I was about 4 (I have clear memories of watching Nixon resign and the 1972 Olympic Israeli wrestling team kidnapping.)
    Yeah, I have the news memories too. I was always interested in the world and in politics and history. I remember watching Reagan's inauguration as a very small girl. I remember the Reagan/Gorbechev talks. I remember Ghadaffi and all that shit.

    I'm not an ENTJ, though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Well making fart noises in class and getting caught is definitly not entp style. Making fart noises and having someone else get caught would be .
    Fair Enough! Although I realize that I have ALWAYS taken the rap for people. Kind of felt it was my duty I guess the Captain has to go down with the ship kind of thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    J

    I had and still have sometimes the same troubles deciding whether I am an entj or entp but in the end you do find out best in interacting with others and reflecting yourself thru others. Especially at young age this is not too easy and if you are for example in a school with people who arent really from the same armlength like you, you can quickly loose focus of yourself and as an extrovert start to play chameleon so you do fit in somehow.
    Good advice . . . I did have a tendency to play chameleon . . . what I'm wondering if most extroverts play chameleon?

    I'd be interested to know what childhood was like for an ENTP as well . . . please share.

    Sorry I screwed up the posting, I was interrupted.

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    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Ok I'll try to sum some of the things from my childhood up, dunno if it resembles the atypical entp tho.

    I grew up in very different worlds. I was born and raised until age 15 in a very poor area, which was populated by all kinds of nationalities. It was an apartment block with around 20 houses having 6 apartments and of course all the people who lived there were a gang . I had a huge circle of friends there, being from all kinds of nationalities, infact as a german I was a minority. My best friend was from Turkey and I even once tried to convert to muslim for him but I failed to pray 4 times a day and to change my eating habits . His brother was a very intelligent man who taught me as a child a lot about ethics and morales, he saw something in me I'ld say nowadays and he somehow wanted me to become a good guy. He vanished tho at some time and I only found out that he went to study in Turkey.

    I was the only guy in my circle of friends who went to the Gymnasium. In Germany you go for 4 years to an elementary school and after that you go either to Hauptschule, Realschule or Gymnasium. Hauptschule ended in that time after 5 more years (so a total of 9 years) and it's the school people who are hands-down practical go to. Most people from Hauptschule become craftsmen or do something practical in the real world. Realschule lasts 6 years (so 10 years total ) and it's the middle education. People from there often work in administration, public services, become nurses, policemen or any other job you need a bit more brains than brawns. Gymnasium lasts 9 years, so a total of 13 years and is highly theorethical. Most people after that go to University, but you can end Gymnasium after 11 years aswell and go to a thing similiar to a college. The german school system is flawed in many ways, one flaw is that you actually have to achieve and pass all the exams of the last class in a school to get your qualification. If you for example would fail 13th class, you'ld fall back to a qualification of 11th class and the last 2 years would have been in vain for you. Sadly our current government is somewhat more preoccupied with making huige amounts of money than caring for internal political problems. They are selling billions of cars to China at the moment and in Germany cars have become so expensive one cant afford them no more. That's just one thing the government really sucks at at the moment.

    But back on track: I was a very stable and down-to-earth child in young years. Never had problems to socialize on the contrary. My father, who I'ld type istp, is a very reasonable man; you could compare him to Bud Spencer . This of course influenced me too and I became at early age very reasonable. I hardly got myself into troubles or hurt myself as a kid. I am still a master at directing work and letting others work for me and in our old circle of friends I was not the leader but something like a binding element. This is a skill I should have throughout my whole life. There was often a lot of disarray between the people in the gang and I was a master at solving conflicts diplomatically. Plus with a happy nature and enthusiasm I somehow brought all the people together. There were people who didnt like each other over death, but when I was there it worked. As if they were playing nice just for me.

    This is an ability I was never concious of. I just understand this better with older age now. As a child I was never aware of my influence or that I had influence at all, on the contrary: I was deeply disturbed and troubled by feelings and I have until today a lot of insecurities and oversensitivities from that time.

    There's another thing that played a pivotal role: from age 12-19 I suffered from heavy acne. People called me streusel cake and I went to a lot of doctors but nothing could help. At age 19 then it vanished on its own, but the time in-between was hell. While we were cool kids in our gang around age 14-16 guys became more intrested in girls. And there were a lot of couples forming and new experiences were made. I was very grumpy at that time and played mister untouchable. I had an intense feeling of me being ugly and I disliked my face very much. That of course formed the character and made me ugly on the inside.

    I didnt pay a lot of attention til the 9th class to my school mates, who were fundamentally different from my old gang. Most of them were rich people, but there were some real diamonds. I am a guy who had always more females friends than male ones because woman are generally more intelligent and more mature or you can better talk to them; so I developed in that time a friendship with a woman from school which should last nearly ten years. She was intj, a total fan of those japanese fantasy movies and we had to give each other so much. She was a very sad girl on the inside, never on the outside tho, same with me (except for the girl thing ) and that brought us together. I was able in that time to escape my real world problems and enter her fantasy world and what I did for her I dont know exactly. I definitly made her happy and helped her thru the time of puberty. We had endless discussions, she taught me about astronomy and quantum physics. My grades in math and physics even became better. I nearly failed school because of math.

    At around age 17 I had my first girlfriend, being one of the last to get a girl (I thought). It was not the intj, this a bad thing I did there. I suspect that I did hurt her very much with my voilatile nature back then and when she got to know I have a girlfriend our friendship of course seized a bit to exist. The problem tho was I never felt in love with her, it just never happened. The girl I got together then with was very homely and canny but was a sly old dog. She was an isfj and she was dangerous. I tho fell in love with her and tho her emotions were very volatile and I knew from the start I cant trust her I embarked on that journey.

    After one year then she was at a party of her friend, who didnt like me, so I was not invited ?! A thing I never thought about back then but nowadays, loyality means to me to not go to a party your partner isnt invited to. That's no rule to me that is naturally. But back then I was more involved with myself and often lost the eye for others, especially my first fragile love. Well it came as it does sound, I was with friends the same day, heavily drinking. And after I was drunk enough to loose my mind, I followed my temper, which was screaming 'go see your girl find out what she's doing'. I left the party all of a sudden and walked 10 miles to come to the other party. I heard my girlfriends voice in the garden, so I climbed some fences and sneaked in the garden. There she was sitting alone together with a friend. We had by that time build a little family of new friends, I'll tell you about that later, forgot to do it earlier. Well the guy was an intp, grew up without a father and was highly intelligent, more than I will ever be. And he played the pity card on her and then they kissed each other.

    A part of me died that day, I officially look back at that day nowadays as the day I grew up. I left the scenery, I was deeply hurt and confused, I never had felt such intense emotions in all my life. I was angry, full of hate, full of sorrow, I felt like struck by a sword and bleeding out slowly. But it was so confusing and puzzling, so intense, I was shocked. I walked down in the middle of a main road and nearly got run over by a truck, which called the police and they picked me up and brought me home. I couldnt sleep that night, my mind was spinning at 300 HP playing all kind of scenarios through, searching for the why, asking more and more questions, analyzing, trieing to bring order to chaos, to be then overwhelmed by intense feelings again. I cried like a baby that night and became a Scooter fan cause I heard nessaja on an endless loop . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_lK7_b_9XU

    In the next morning she called me by herself. I pretended I knew nothing. She called me in tears and said she wanted to tell me something. I of course got all enthusiastic again and won back my strength in a second. I jumped in my car and drove to her place and she told me under tears that she kissed him but not more. And when she said he felt like cold fish, I was convinc ed again and forgave her. All sorrow was blown away in a second, sometimes life's so fast, to fast for your own good. What I didnt realize back then was that not only a part of me died that day, but the love for her died aswell. It should have been never the same again.

    I told you earlier about the new circle of friends. I was a good computer gamer back then. We played a game called counterstrike and did it professionally. I originally became a master at halflife which is the base game, counterstrike is only an addon and one day a friend gave me a copy of counterstrike. I at the beginning found the game shitty but then I quite quickly developed a talent. The friend who gave me the copy was a teammember in the second team of one of the best clans in town and he invited me over. I went on my first on LAN session and at that day I had to help out in the first team because one of their team members was too drunk, tho I was originally in the third team. We won the championship that day and I was awarded the best gamer of the whole match (out of 200 people). I continued to stay on the first team but they were all freaks. They published 35 clan rules which a member had to abide and invested more seriousness than fun in the game. So my friend (infp btw) and me decided to leave the clan and to found our own one. I wanted him to be the leader but to my surprise he entered me as the leader in the official database, we though always made decisions in agreement. This was our first real enterprise and it worked. We quickly developed a local team in my hometown of 8 permament members. This was the time I got in contact with my girlfriend, she had many friends at her school (one of them being the intp) and they all became a member of the first team. I later even founded a webdesign company with one of the members, an intj, which should last for 10 years, we made some decent money back then, all fuel by our endeavours to build a clan homepage, a server and so on. We then even started to play online (the internets werent so famous yet back then) and made a lot of friends in Southern Germany. We became somewhat of a family and I am still in contact until today with the guys from Southern Germany. At our peak time we had 46 members, were place 125th out of ~3500 in clanbase in 5on5 matches and in 2on2 matches, which were played by me and my infp friend we achieved rank 26th out of ~15,000 clans. We won 3 big LAN parties, the biggest had 500 members and my whole computer was sponsored by companies. This was a good time with a lot of fun .

    Then school ended, we all finished Gymnasium and separated. Everyone was building up a life on their own and well we parted. The friendship to the intp was troubled after the incident with my girlfriend but since she told me about it, I didnt blame him. My infp friend went to the army and came back as another person. He became a very tough and manly guy and I think he does coke. The friendship ended quite quickly, we even should have had a fistfight in a bar, one of the only two fights I ever got into in my life. In Germany back then you had to choose after school to go for one year to the army or to go for one year and to do social work. I choosed social work in a retirement home and this was intensly boring. Since all friends were gone I met new friends and they were all smoking marijuana. Didnt take me too long and I was doing so aswell. I worked in the retirement home at days and became the life of the party at nights. I drank alot did alot of drugs and soon the next thing to break was the relationship with my girlfriend. I ended it cause she was too reasonable for my newly found lifestyle. I deeply hurt her that day and I should have ended it the day when she kissed the intp but you know, one doesnt always do the right thing. I deeply regret that I have hurt her but it happened I cant change it today. She should later on become a couple with the infp who went to the military but there relationship only lasted 3 months after that I lost contact to all of them. Cause I was entering drug world.

    I met a person in that time I've never met before. He somehow had all the qualities I was missing in myself. He was an absolute people person, had nearly over 200 contacts in his phone and had his finger everywhere. We felt connected the moment we saw each other, but I think so did many he met. He was an estp and he found my shit hilarious. There was an obvious discrepancy to everyone between N and S here, I was talking under drugs in that time that I want to build the warp core and talked alot of physics and mumbojumbo he found totally awesome at the start. When in company of others it was only his words that protected me from others, because I was a huge weirdo that time. Everyone knew that but they said, the estp likes that guy so we like him.

    The first year got me into a completly new world. Somehow the estp saw someone different in me, someone with potential. He never noticed that the drugs were actually destroying me, cause you cant let a guy with a lively imagination smoke pot; to him smoking was a thing he did since age 14 and it did fuel his energy while it was destroying my mind. He brought me deeper into the spiral and soon I met my first dealers, did my own tours and saw the first gun in my life and the results of a gang war. He was one year younger than me and after a year he went to the army and I did his weekly business for him. He made me his right hand but I was loosing my mind.

    I went to University after that year, signed in for german and english language studies. I majored in school in german and english, tho still my greatest intrest was always physics. I tho never had great grades in physics and since I was always preoccupied with other things than school, it came that way. I was never really present at University I rather smoked my brains out. Then one day the peak was reached and we did shrooms. This was my entry ticket to the asylum, I completly lost track of the real world. I fundamentally changed, I read Carl Gustav Jung in that days and started to analyse people. I divided them in groups of types and started to talk about that to anyone. Typology is no thing known in Germany and no thing peoiple like, self-reflection and self-understanding isnt a thing Germans are too good at and since I wasnt really in a circle of people who are receptible to that, my reputation degraded beyond recognition. Soon everyone was convinced I've lost it and they avoided my contact.

    The estp slowly and without my knowledge stripped me off my responsibilities and retreated. He should later on tell me that he ended our friendship because I said something bad about his girl when I was drunk. I never did that and it's ridicoulus per se, because in this 2 years he had like 50 girlfriends, so he cant really tell me that he ever cared how a girl would feel. Well it happened and that was it.

    In the two years I of course met many people who wanted pot. One of them was an esfp from the neighbourhood of the new place we moved to, who had an entj friend. They became good friends of mine and I regret until today that I didnt care for the friendship with the entj. He would probably my friend til today, if I wasnt so involved with myself and so much on drugs. Well the entj was a good guy, the classical northern germany captain guy with a dry humor and a loyal streak and we went together with friends of the two on two great journeys. One time we traveled for three weeks thru Italy and the other time for three weeks thru France. We slept on camping sites and had a good tour guide, an istj a guy who travelled since childhood already. Those six weeks became a journey to my innerself for me. I was ripped out of my usual surroundings and I had no drugs, cause I didnt dare to smuggle them over the border.

    I dunno if the guys I travelled with did know that, I think they did. They healed me in the six weeks. they were an intense circle of friends, a bit to intense for my taste and they were pretty conservative. I was the antithesis, a troubled drug dealer, with one leg in the prison already, no morales, pragmatic and dirty. It was a slight bit like an act of charity that they accepted me in the first place and their plan did work.

    When I got back from the trip I was sober. As in my trip ended. I signed up for mechanical engineering and finally dared to take a risk in life. I knew I have nothing of what it takes to become an engineer, but I've always wanted to do something with physics. And it took me only 2 semester and I was totally in it. Nowadays I feel like the born engineer that I havent been anything before that. It's absolutely my thing. It wasnt easy for me tho. The first three semesters I nearly failed every class, because I was too lazy and still had my school attitude. Then I trained to learn a thing I never did at school and I managed to pass all exams of 3rd semester and half of the exams I missed until then. To study engineering does take you 10 semesters at least and the average finish in 12. I am in the 10th now and will probably finish in 3 more what's absolutely ok. But it's not the end of the story yet..

    University brought me into a new world again. I concentrated a lot after some time on the content and lost track of my real world problems. Still had the longing in me to find a woman but somehow it wasnt important no more. I was like, well either I deserve a woman or not, I will wait now and hope for it but if it wont happen I didnt deserve it. I already became a friend with dieing alone old and grumpy. I am still like that till today, but then it should come all differently.

    Thru a friend I met a girl, an infp, who was like no woman I ever met before. First of all she was intelligent and not adapted like the dirty rest. Second of all she had a scary temper, a good thing because I knew I can trust her, she always speaks her mind. And third of all she read me like a book and understood me like a sister. She did, in 5 years never ask me only one time what I meant with a thing I said. She always understands. Was a miracle to me cause I was convinced I am crazy. She's an infp, officially typed as one aswell and she has made me a man.

    She supported me on all my endeavours and I have found a job now and am in the business world a world I totally like and feel home too. I can have a lot of ideas in my job and am employed because of my technical expertise. It wont be the last job I do in life but in the last 3 years, I really learnt about the real world and I had the aha-effect the effect with which you open your eyes and see how things are working a billion times.

    And all thanks to this girl.

    I am a master at criticizing but bad at complimenting, therefore I have nothing to say about this girl, except for I am absolutely happy. She has the same intrests like me, plays computer, isnt afraid of the technical gadgets I build (tho she doesnt like a dirty apartment ) and she respects me and supports me in a way a person has never done before. And I am trieing to give the same back to her.

    I'll finish now, this text already took me 2 hours and I have to do some other work aswell today, hope you can do something with the text above. I am still until today not conviced, whether I am entp or entj. People on this board are easy to call you entp when you fool around a lot and dont seem serious, but I think there is more to the difference than just that. The first time I ever took the test, I scored entj and I think in the end this is my real type where it will all boil down to; cause in nearly all entp profiles I read, I read about responsibility issues and this is a thing I always hated in my life, namely not being responsible. I dunno, I have at least 30 more years to find out

    Good day
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #6
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    A mother who tells you that you can do anything and a father you can never manage to impress

  7. #7
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    Hmmm ... My childhood?

    Since the age of 14 I had an obsession with business.

    My childhood has been really busy and intense; there was always something to do.

    In high school I was well liked, but I honestly didn't care and just wanted to get out of there and be free. Ironically, my best friend was the Principal, who always gave me "insider deals" and let me break every school rule as long as I didn't put him in a compromising position. I really didn't have a lot of time to socialize because I was running a small business and loosing my head trying to keep up with everything. A night out with friends at the mall was rare luxury time.

    My only close friend was an ESTJ girl who could really relate to me. We used to call ourselves out of school once a week and head out to the city or elsewhere to get away from the boredom in school.

    I had tons of acquaintances and the entire school knew me, but I really never made any close friends - except for the ESTJ girl and of course, the principal.

    I had a blast in college to make up for it.

    Women came easy but I wasn't interested in playing the field.

    Sure I could go out a buy into counterfeit pleasures and party all night, but I'd rather capitalize off it and make a good profit in the "vice market".

    And that sums up my childhood! It was just a long journey into the real world, the corporate world that is.
    got chaos?

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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Ok I'll try to sum some of the things from my childhood up, dunno if it resembles the atypical entp tho.

    I grew up in very different worlds. I was born and raised until age 15 in a very poor area, which was populated by all kinds of nationalities. It was an apartment block with around 20 houses having 6 apartments and of course all the people who lived there were a gang . I had a huge circle of friends there, being from all kinds of nationalities, infact as a german I was a minority. My best friend was from Turkey and I even once tried to convert to muslim for him but I failed to pray 4 times a day and to change my eating habits . His brother was a very intelligent man who taught me as a child a lot about ethics and morales, he saw something in me I'ld say nowadays and he somehow wanted me to become a good guy. He vanished tho at some time and I only found out that he went to study in Turkey.

    I was the only guy in my circle of friends who went to the Gymnasium. In Germany you go for 4 years to an elementary school and after that you go either to Hauptschule, Realschule or Gymnasium. Hauptschule ended in that time after 5 more years (so a total of 9 years) and it's the school people who are hands-down practical go to. Most people from Hauptschule become craftsmen or do something practical in the real world. Realschule lasts 6 years (so 10 years total ) and it's the middle education. People from there often work in administration, public services, become nurses, policemen or any other job you need a bit more brains than brawns. Gymnasium lasts 9 years, so a total of 13 years and is highly theorethical. Most people after that go to University, but you can end Gymnasium after 11 years aswell and go to a thing similiar to a college. The german school system is flawed in many ways, one flaw is that you actually have to achieve and pass all the exams of the last class in a school to get your qualification. If you for example would fail 13th class, you'ld fall back to a qualification of 11th class and the last 2 years would have been in vain for you. Sadly our current government is somewhat more preoccupied with making huige amounts of money than caring for internal political problems. They are selling billions of cars to China at the moment and in Germany cars have become so expensive one cant afford them no more. That's just one thing the government really sucks at at the moment.

    But back on track: I was a very stable and down-to-earth child in young years. Never had problems to socialize on the contrary. My father, who I'ld type istp, is a very reasonable man; you could compare him to Bud Spencer . This of course influenced me too and I became at early age very reasonable. I hardly got myself into troubles or hurt myself as a kid. I am still a master at directing work and letting others work for me and in our old circle of friends I was not the leader but something like a binding element. This is a skill I should have throughout my whole life. There was often a lot of disarray between the people in the gang and I was a master at solving conflicts diplomatically. Plus with a happy nature and enthusiasm I somehow brought all the people together. There were people who didnt like each other over death, but when I was there it worked. As if they were playing nice just for me.

    This is an ability I was never concious of. I just understand this better with older age now. As a child I was never aware of my influence or that I had influence at all, on the contrary: I was deeply disturbed and troubled by feelings and I have until today a lot of insecurities and oversensitivities from that time.

    There's another thing that played a pivotal role: from age 12-19 I suffered from heavy acne. People called me streusel cake and I went to a lot of doctors but nothing could help. At age 19 then it vanished on its own, but the time in-between was hell. While we were cool kids in our gang around age 14-16 guys became more intrested in girls. And there were a lot of couples forming and new experiences were made. I was very grumpy at that time and played mister untouchable. I had an intense feeling of me being ugly and I disliked my face very much. That of course formed the character and made me ugly on the inside.

    I didnt pay a lot of attention til the 9th class to my school mates, who were fundamentally different from my old gang. Most of them were rich people, but there were some real diamonds. I am a guy who had always more females friends than male ones because woman are generally more intelligent and more mature or you can better talk to them; so I developed in that time a friendship with a woman from school which should last nearly ten years. She was intj, a total fan of those japanese fantasy movies and we had to give each other so much. She was a very sad girl on the inside, never on the outside tho, same with me (except for the girl thing ) and that brought us together. I was able in that time to escape my real world problems and enter her fantasy world and what I did for her I dont know exactly. I definitly made her happy and helped her thru the time of puberty. We had endless discussions, she taught me about astronomy and quantum physics. My grades in math and physics even became better. I nearly failed school because of math.

    At around age 17 I had my first girlfriend, being one of the last to get a girl (I thought). It was not the intj, this a bad thing I did there. I suspect that I did hurt her very much with my voilatile nature back then and when she got to know I have a girlfriend our friendship of course seized a bit to exist. The problem tho was I never felt in love with her, it just never happened. The girl I got together then with was very homely and canny but was a sly old dog. She was an isfj and she was dangerous. I tho fell in love with her and tho her emotions were very volatile and I knew from the start I cant trust her I embarked on that journey.

    After one year then she was at a party of her friend, who didnt like me, so I was not invited ?! A thing I never thought about back then but nowadays, loyality means to me to not go to a party your partner isnt invited to. That's no rule to me that is naturally. But back then I was more involved with myself and often lost the eye for others, especially my first fragile love. Well it came as it does sound, I was with friends the same day, heavily drinking. And after I was drunk enough to loose my mind, I followed my temper, which was screaming 'go see your girl find out what she's doing'. I left the party all of a sudden and walked 10 miles to come to the other party. I heard my girlfriends voice in the garden, so I climbed some fences and sneaked in the garden. There she was sitting alone together with a friend. We had by that time build a little family of new friends, I'll tell you about that later, forgot to do it earlier. Well the guy was an intp, grew up without a father and was highly intelligent, more than I will ever be. And he played the pity card on her and then they kissed each other.

    A part of me died that day, I officially look back at that day nowadays as the day I grew up. I left the scenery, I was deeply hurt and confused, I never had felt such intense emotions in all my life. I was angry, full of hate, full of sorrow, I felt like struck by a sword and bleeding out slowly. But it was so confusing and puzzling, so intense, I was shocked. I walked down in the middle of a main road and nearly got run over by a truck, which called the police and they picked me up and brought me home. I couldnt sleep that night, my mind was spinning at 300 HP playing all kind of scenarios through, searching for the why, asking more and more questions, analyzing, trieing to bring order to chaos, to be then overwhelmed by intense feelings again. I cried like a baby that night and became a Scooter fan cause I heard nessaja on an endless loop . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_lK7_b_9XU

    In the next morning she called me by herself. I pretended I knew nothing. She called me in tears and said she wanted to tell me something. I of course got all enthusiastic again and won back my strength in a second. I jumped in my car and drove to her place and she told me under tears that she kissed him but not more. And when she said he felt like cold fish, I was convinc ed again and forgave her. All sorrow was blown away in a second, sometimes life's so fast, to fast for your own good. What I didnt realize back then was that not only a part of me died that day, but the love for her died aswell. It should have been never the same again.

    I told you earlier about the new circle of friends. I was a good computer gamer back then. We played a game called counterstrike and did it professionally. I originally became a master at halflife which is the base game, counterstrike is only an addon and one day a friend gave me a copy of counterstrike. I at the beginning found the game shitty but then I quite quickly developed a talent. The friend who gave me the copy was a teammember in the second team of one of the best clans in town and he invited me over. I went on my first on LAN session and at that day I had to help out in the first team because one of their team members was too drunk, tho I was originally in the third team. We won the championship that day and I was awarded the best gamer of the whole match (out of 200 people). I continued to stay on the first team but they were all freaks. They published 35 clan rules which a member had to abide and invested more seriousness than fun in the game. So my friend (infp btw) and me decided to leave the clan and to found our own one. I wanted him to be the leader but to my surprise he entered me as the leader in the official database, we though always made decisions in agreement. This was our first real enterprise and it worked. We quickly developed a local team in my hometown of 8 permament members. This was the time I got in contact with my girlfriend, she had many friends at her school (one of them being the intp) and they all became a member of the first team. I later even founded a webdesign company with one of the members, an intj, which should last for 10 years, we made some decent money back then, all fuel by our endeavours to build a clan homepage, a server and so on. We then even started to play online (the internets werent so famous yet back then) and made a lot of friends in Southern Germany. We became somewhat of a family and I am still in contact until today with the guys from Southern Germany. At our peak time we had 46 members, were place 125th out of ~3500 in clanbase in 5on5 matches and in 2on2 matches, which were played by me and my infp friend we achieved rank 26th out of ~15,000 clans. We won 3 big LAN parties, the biggest had 500 members and my whole computer was sponsored by companies. This was a good time with a lot of fun .

    Then school ended, we all finished Gymnasium and separated. Everyone was building up a life on their own and well we parted. The friendship to the intp was troubled after the incident with my girlfriend but since she told me about it, I didnt blame him. My infp friend went to the army and came back as another person. He became a very tough and manly guy and I think he does coke. The friendship ended quite quickly, we even should have had a fistfight in a bar, one of the only two fights I ever got into in my life. In Germany back then you had to choose after school to go for one year to the army or to go for one year and to do social work. I choosed social work in a retirement home and this was intensly boring. Since all friends were gone I met new friends and they were all smoking marijuana. Didnt take me too long and I was doing so aswell. I worked in the retirement home at days and became the life of the party at nights. I drank alot did alot of drugs and soon the next thing to break was the relationship with my girlfriend. I ended it cause she was too reasonable for my newly found lifestyle. I deeply hurt her that day and I should have ended it the day when she kissed the intp but you know, one doesnt always do the right thing. I deeply regret that I have hurt her but it happened I cant change it today. She should later on become a couple with the infp who went to the military but there relationship only lasted 3 months after that I lost contact to all of them. Cause I was entering drug world.

    I met a person in that time I've never met before. He somehow had all the qualities I was missing in myself. He was an absolute people person, had nearly over 200 contacts in his phone and had his finger everywhere. We felt connected the moment we saw each other, but I think so did many he met. He was an estp and he found my shit hilarious. There was an obvious discrepancy to everyone between N and S here, I was talking under drugs in that time that I want to build the warp core and talked alot of physics and mumbojumbo he found totally awesome at the start. When in company of others it was only his words that protected me from others, because I was a huge weirdo that time. Everyone knew that but they said, the estp likes that guy so we like him.

    The first year got me into a completly new world. Somehow the estp saw someone different in me, someone with potential. He never noticed that the drugs were actually destroying me, cause you cant let a guy with a lively imagination smoke pot; to him smoking was a thing he did since age 14 and it did fuel his energy while it was destroying my mind. He brought me deeper into the spiral and soon I met my first dealers, did my own tours and saw the first gun in my life and the results of a gang war. He was one year younger than me and after a year he went to the army and I did his weekly business for him. He made me his right hand but I was loosing my mind.

    I went to University after that year, signed in for german and english language studies. I majored in school in german and english, tho still my greatest intrest was always physics. I tho never had great grades in physics and since I was always preoccupied with other things than school, it came that way. I was never really present at University I rather smoked my brains out. Then one day the peak was reached and we did shrooms. This was my entry ticket to the asylum, I completly lost track of the real world. I fundamentally changed, I read Carl Gustav Jung in that days and started to analyse people. I divided them in groups of types and started to talk about that to anyone. Typology is no thing known in Germany and no thing peoiple like, self-reflection and self-understanding isnt a thing Germans are too good at and since I wasnt really in a circle of people who are receptible to that, my reputation degraded beyond recognition. Soon everyone was convinced I've lost it and they avoided my contact.

    The estp slowly and without my knowledge stripped me off my responsibilities and retreated. He should later on tell me that he ended our friendship because I said something bad about his girl when I was drunk. I never did that and it's ridicoulus per se, because in this 2 years he had like 50 girlfriends, so he cant really tell me that he ever cared how a girl would feel. Well it happened and that was it.

    In the two years I of course met many people who wanted pot. One of them was an esfp from the neighbourhood of the new place we moved to, who had an entj friend. They became good friends of mine and I regret until today that I didnt care for the friendship with the entj. He would probably my friend til today, if I wasnt so involved with myself and so much on drugs. Well the entj was a good guy, the classical northern germany captain guy with a dry humor and a loyal streak and we went together with friends of the two on two great journeys. One time we traveled for three weeks thru Italy and the other time for three weeks thru France. We slept on camping sites and had a good tour guide, an istj a guy who travelled since childhood already. Those six weeks became a journey to my innerself for me. I was ripped out of my usual surroundings and I had no drugs, cause I didnt dare to smuggle them over the border.

    I dunno if the guys I travelled with did know that, I think they did. They healed me in the six weeks. they were an intense circle of friends, a bit to intense for my taste and they were pretty conservative. I was the antithesis, a troubled drug dealer, with one leg in the prison already, no morales, pragmatic and dirty. It was a slight bit like an act of charity that they accepted me in the first place and their plan did work.

    When I got back from the trip I was sober. As in my trip ended. I signed up for mechanical engineering and finally dared to take a risk in life. I knew I have nothing of what it takes to become an engineer, but I've always wanted to do something with physics. And it took me only 2 semester and I was totally in it. Nowadays I feel like the born engineer that I havent been anything before that. It's absolutely my thing. It wasnt easy for me tho. The first three semesters I nearly failed every class, because I was too lazy and still had my school attitude. Then I trained to learn a thing I never did at school and I managed to pass all exams of 3rd semester and half of the exams I missed until then. To study engineering does take you 10 semesters at least and the average finish in 12. I am in the 10th now and will probably finish in 3 more what's absolutely ok. But it's not the end of the story yet..

    University brought me into a new world again. I concentrated a lot after some time on the content and lost track of my real world problems. Still had the longing in me to find a woman but somehow it wasnt important no more. I was like, well either I deserve a woman or not, I will wait now and hope for it but if it wont happen I didnt deserve it. I already became a friend with dieing alone old and grumpy. I am still like that till today, but then it should come all differently.

    Thru a friend I met a girl, an infp, who was like no woman I ever met before. First of all she was intelligent and not adapted like the dirty rest. Second of all she had a scary temper, a good thing because I knew I can trust her, she always speaks her mind. And third of all she read me like a book and understood me like a sister. She did, in 5 years never ask me only one time what I meant with a thing I said. She always understands. Was a miracle to me cause I was convinced I am crazy. She's an infp, officially typed as one aswell and she has made me a man.

    She supported me on all my endeavours and I have found a job now and am in the business world a world I totally like and feel home too. I can have a lot of ideas in my job and am employed because of my technical expertise. It wont be the last job I do in life but in the last 3 years, I really learnt about the real world and I had the aha-effect the effect with which you open your eyes and see how things are working a billion times.

    And all thanks to this girl.

    I am a master at criticizing but bad at complimenting, therefore I have nothing to say about this girl, except for I am absolutely happy. She has the same intrests like me, plays computer, isnt afraid of the technical gadgets I build (tho she doesnt like a dirty apartment ) and she respects me and supports me in a way a person has never done before. And I am trieing to give the same back to her.

    I'll finish now, this text already took me 2 hours and I have to do some other work aswell today, hope you can do something with the text above. I am still until today not conviced, whether I am entp or entj. People on this board are easy to call you entp when you fool around a lot and dont seem serious, but I think there is more to the difference than just that. The first time I ever took the test, I scored entj and I think in the end this is my real type where it will all boil down to; cause in nearly all entp profiles I read, I read about responsibility issues and this is a thing I always hated in my life, namely not being responsible. I dunno, I have at least 30 more years to find out

    Good day
    3w4-9w1-?w6 (nearly headless nick)
    sp/so
    Lawful Evil

    COCKBURN:

    http://sundrytimes.files.wordpress.c...tomic-bomb.jpg


  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Modern Warrior Poet View Post
    A mother who tells you that you can do anything and a father you can never manage to impress
    Mine was the opposite!

    Quote Originally Posted by MoneyTick View Post

    My only close friend was an ESTJ girl who could really relate to me. We used to call ourselves out of school once a week and head out to the city or elsewhere to get away from the boredom in school.
    Quote Originally Posted by MoneyTick View Post
    had tons of acquaintances and the entire school knew me, but I really never made any close friends - except for the ESTJ girl and of course, the principal.

    I had a blast in college to make up for it.
    I actually hung out with four different groups, but never really felt at home in any, so I understand that. I did sometimes hang out with teachers and talk politics. That's how I passed government class without actually showing up 3/4s of the time!

    Quote Originally Posted by MoneyTick View Post
    Women came easy but I wasn't interested in playing the field.

    Sure I could go out a buy into counterfeit pleasures and party all night, but I'd rather capitalize off it and make a good profit in the "vice market".

    And that sums up my childhood! It was just a long journey into the real world, the corporate world that is.
    Interesting. I didn't really like to waste my time playing the field either. I usually knew within 2 weeks of knowing someone whether or not it would work out and then I didn't waste my time. I had about 4 serious relationships. I wonder if this is a typical ENTJ thing?



    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    Coming soon to bookstores near you:
    Must be the difference between ENTPs and ENTJs!

    @Entropie . . . I'm interested in your story, but I'm going to have to read it again before I comment.

  10. #10
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    A crazy controlling ESTJ father combined with a passive-aggressive overly-spoiled ISFP mother created a childhood full of drama. So around 12 or 13, I stopped listening to them and did what I wanted to do. This brought my father to near apoplexy where my mother barely noticed. She was too busy ratchetting up the drama with my father. I suppose love was drama to her.

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