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  1. #1
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Default Help for an INTJ:ISTJ couple with problems

    thanks!
    Last edited by sculpting; 01-06-2011 at 11:02 AM.

  2. #2
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    I disagree about him not having mental health issues. While I understand he might be gun-shy since his ex-wife was institutionalized at eight months and refused to make changes, it also sounds like he is terrified of emotion, emotionally abusive himself, and possibly even exaggerated about his ex-wife if he's treating his pregnant ISTJ this way.

    That's my take on it.

  3. #3
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    I mean seriously, did he *have* his wife institutionalized? Because he sounds kind of unstable himself and his accusations seem pretty bizarre. Maybe he drove his ex-wife crazy.

  4. #4
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Sounds like he likes her shadow, which would be ENFP, right? So, under stress she becomes his dual?
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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    To me it sounds like her ENFP shadow is what is terrifying to him...

  6. #6
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Hmm, okay. Anyway, it sounds tough. Ugh.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  7. #7
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Sounds like both of these are having Fi attacks. At least hers is due to pregnancy.
    Maybe he has never been into a girl like he has been into her, so her inconsistent actions probably threw him into some NiFi loop.

    Stay together, for the baby, unless this turns out to be more than an temporary emotional turmoil. I think she needs to have him involved with the baby. It's his child. I mean the lengths he went to show her that he cared- I think he still wants her in his life.

  8. #8
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    This might be one of those situations where it becomes a family concern, ie. get the two families involved or get some impartial third parties involved who can help sort this mess.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    Sounds like both of these are having Fi attacks. At least hers is due to pregnancy.
    Maybe he has never been into a girl like he has been into her, so her inconsistent actions probably threw him into some NiFi loop.

    Stay together, for the baby, unless this turns out to be more than an temporary emotional turmoil. I think she needs to have him involved with the baby. It's his child. I mean the lengths he went to show her that he cared- I think he still wants her in his life.
    It does sound like an NiFi loop. And the scary thing about an INTJ in an NiFi loop is that they can imagine that they're still being "logical."

    He's emotionally abusing her, but it sounds like it comes from a place of fear.

    I think Synarch's "third party" suggestion is wise.

  10. #10
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Orobas, did this version of the story come from your ISTJ friend? If so, not that I'm accusing her of lying but pregnant women don't really see their hormonal reactions clearly. From the outside, her hormonal reactions might remind him of his ex-wife, triggering old fears that your ISTJ friend might also be going nuts. Who knows what he suffered from being with someone who had to be institutionalised since people don't get institutionalised much anymore. Perhaps a form of PTSD?

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