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  1. #11
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    A person can get institutionalized for threatening to kill themselves. It's not that hard. They just don't institutionalize people long-term anymore unless they are really, really disturbed.

    I find it suspicious just because he sees crazy ladies everywhere. I would try to look into why his ex-wife was institutionalized.

  2. #12
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Coincidental that both incidents surrounded reproduction? I'd say not. Triggers.

  3. #13
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    He dumped his pregnant girlfriend for calling him too much?

    INTJs can be so emotionally retarded. He might not even be abusive or paranoid - just emotionally retarded.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    Coincidental that both incidents surrounded reproduction? I'd say not. Triggers.
    How are you so sure something is wrong with the ISTJ? Maybe she's just hormonal and emotional.

    If he's that easily freaked out by hormonal women maybe he should start dating men.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I find it suspicious just because he sees crazy ladies everywhere. I would try to look into why his ex-wife was institutionalized.
    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    So a little more perspective on the ex wife-from my friend:

    "She had a breakdown after they tried fertility treatments or something like that – he said that she was taking antidepressants or something for a psychological problem and he never knew, then when she started trying to have babies she stopped them cold turkey and he had no idea. She just started being paranoid accusing him of trying to kill her or have her killed, scared to be alone in the house with him, strange kind of stuff. She left and returned with the cops one night and they determined it was her not him after evaluating the situation. Then he told her parents she needed to be checked in somewhere and that’s when she went to "nice friendly mental institution". Strange that during her stay and after she completely cut him off though...she even removed him from the visitors list and changed her “code” that is required when you call to speak with someone there...

    He has never been physically violent."

    After being released his wife met him once, then totally cut him off.
    I am in agreement with Marmalade. Sounds like there's more to it. Takes two to tango, you know.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  6. #16
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    How are you so sure something is wrong with the ISTJ? Maybe she's just hormonal and emotional.

    If he's that easily freaked out by hormonal women maybe he should start dating men.
    Where did I say there was something wrong with the ISTJ beyond pregnancy hormonal issues? How about nowhere?

    The triggers are on his side. First wife goes nuts trying to get pregnant. She turns on him harshly, whereby he suffered serious emotional abuse. Girlfriend in his eyes goes nut while being pregnant. Flashback.

    He should get some therapy to try to work through his issues from his marriage but she will also have to tone down her hormonal reactions if at all possible. NTJs don't react well to emotional barrages of the irrational kind and INTJs are worse at it than ENTJs since they're so inside of themselves. An INTJ under stress reacts like an unhealthy ENTP (shadow).

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    Where did I say there was something wrong with the ISTJ beyond pregnancy hormonal issues? How about nowhere?

    The triggers are on his side. First wife goes nuts trying to get pregnant. She turns on him harshly, whereby he suffered serious emotional abuse. Girlfriend in his eyes goes nut while being pregnant. Flashback.

    He should get some therapy to try to work through his issues from his marriage but she will also have to tone down her hormonal reactions if at all possible. NTJs don't react well to emotional barrages of the irrational kind and INTJs are worse at it than ENTJs since they're so inside of themselves. An INTJ under stress reacts like an unhealthy ENTP (shadow).
    Oh I apologize for the misunderstanding. I thought you meant both women had severe mental illness triggered by pregnancy. I started thinking...what is this, 1864? The myth of the hysterical women? All those men used to lock their wives away for nothing more than being hormonal and emotional. In essence, they were institutionalized for being...women.

    But I agree, the case with the ex-wife probably spooked him. He needs to take responsibility though and get therapy then, and also try to be a bit more understanding that his partner is pregnant. I have found out recently that INTJs don't do well with being bombarded with emotional conversations, and when they're met with more emotional clinginess after pulling away, they pull away harder. Makes so much sense, IME with male INTJs.

    Maybe someone should show this lady MBTI. Orobas? Haha do you think that would help?

    But there's also responsibility on his end, like I said, to get therapy and to try to understand that ISTJ is pregnant and hormonal. I mean he's a 40 year old INTJ, not a 25 year old INTJ. They have to grow up eventually, and developing emotional intelligence is just as important for an INTJ as developing rational thinking is for, say, an ENFP or ISFJ.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    But I agree, the case with the ex-wife probably spooked him. He needs to take responsibility though and get therapy then, and also try to be a bit more understanding that his partner is pregnant. I have found out recently that INTJs don't do well with being bombarded with emotional conversations, and when they're met with more emotional clinginess after pulling away, they pull away harder. Makes so much sense, IME with male INTJs.
    God, yes. Annoying.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  9. #19
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Compassion needs to flow both ways in this situation.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    Compassion needs to flow both ways in this situation.
    +1
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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