[INTP] INTP's- known to be only the friend...?

[lazyhappy]

I know 3/3 INTPs' who have love problems and they are in love with thier freinds. However they never seem to get thier feelings returned and always end up being just the friend.

Is this a INTP thing? Have you, as a INTP or close, ever been in this sort of situation or know an INTP that had?

 

[chippinchunk]

Well, there is Brian from Family guy. But that could be a conincedence(sp?). Lol, I never really noticed this, it seems like a "boy next door" thing (I made that up, but its like a gender switch). It's cute but really depressing. Why can't people (INTP's) go farther than that? OR why doesnt the other side notice?

 

[MetalWounds]

I've had that problem myself more than once.

 

[armstrongvk12]

I know 3/3 INTPs' who have love problems and they are in love with thier freinds. However they never seem to get thier feelings returned and always end up being just the friend.

Is this a INTP thing? Have you, as a INTP or close, ever been in this sort of situation or know an INTP that had?

Interesting. I know one female INTP who was/is in love with a friend...who now loves her back. The male INTP that I know has had love problems (i.e. divorce, cheating by HIM, etc...) but doesn't seem to have problems with feelings being returned. In fact, he cheated on me, tried to turn our relationship into a friendship, and I refused. Don't let the door hit ya! :steam: But I must say, in my opinion, it is best to love a friend that hopefully will return your feelings. If more people did that, the divorce rate would be smaller.

 

[cafe]

I dunno. I've never had strictly platonic feelings towards my INTP.

 

[Totenkindly]

I know 3/3 INTPs' who have love problems and they are in love with thier freinds. However they never seem to get thier feelings returned and always end up being just the friend.

Is this a INTP thing? Have you, as a INTP or close, ever been in this sort of situation or know an INTP that had?

I don't think it's just an INTP thing. This happens to a lot of people... and especially introverts, because they often never really are as open or assertive as they need to be about their feelings.

 

[nzAShadow]

Over half the girls I meet wind up having a crush on me at some point, and I normally see it. But what usually happens is that I'm apparently, as a male, supposed to initiate anything, so while they're throwing the indicators of interest at me, I'm stuck trying to make sure that it's really an IoI. After about several months of this, they lose interest and move on then I'm usually trying to figure out what I did to cause that.

The occasional overly assertive girl, when they aren't annoying as shit, is convenient though. They seem fine with initiating everything, so I don't have to do anything.

 

[cdal233]

I don't think it's just an INTP thing. This happens to a lot of people... and especially introverts, because they often never really are as open or assertive as they need to be about their feelings.

Yes I agree completely. I think introverts would be represented more so being stuck in the friend zone than extroverts.

Another potential cause would be the introvert's lack of reading a wide variety of social situations... and life experience in general relating to other people.

 

[BrianBear]

INTPs can't naturally act on their emotions. It makes it hard for the person you are attracted to know you feelings when you barely even know them yourself.

 

[mippus]

Could it be that it takes a long time for us to open up to other people, and thus often build up a relation with other people before we fall in love? Meanwhile the other person has learned to appreciate us as a friend.

 

[cocopuff]

i think we all go thru that at times *heavy sigh*

 

[darkmoon]

Has happened to me several times. Meet someone great and never get beyond the friend thing, no matter how perfect a partner they seem. Think this is down to miscommunication maybe. Possibly INTPs are both bad at picking up signals from other people correctly, and also communicating them effectively too. And it is worse if the other person is also an introvert.

 

[faith]

I was in love with an INTP--a very good friend--who never returned the feelings. I waited and hoped for many many years, but he was determined to be nothing but my friend. I'm not convinced INTPs have a monopoly on the in-love-with-friends situation.

 

[Butterfly]

Could it be that it takes a long time for us to open up to other people, and thus often build up a relation with other people before we fall in love? Meanwhile the other person has learned to appreciate us as a friend.

Either that or the INTP throws themself at you like you know PROPOSING to you! while you barely know them as a person! and all this time they were thinking that youre interested in them and wanna have thier babies. lol
I find that he was just lurking around, scanning his prey, while the prey is blissfully unaware of even his existence.

One INTP did dat to me. I was like whaoooo hold on, I dont even know you. But I did see the sincerity in him and did explore it further....its another thing it ended up in disaster. sighhhh

 

[Veneti]

Yes I agree completely. I think introverts would be represented more so being stuck in the friend zone than extroverts.

Another potential cause would be the introvert's lack of reading a wide variety of social situations... and life experience in general relating to other people.

You're right on the button.

Finding a suitable person is one of percentages. The more people you meet the more likely you are to find the appropriate person.

 

[cafe]

Either that or the INTP throws themself at you like you know PROPOSING to you! while you barely know them as a person!

My INTP did that to me and saying yes to his (what was to me) premature proposal was one of the smartest things I've ever done in my life. I still pat myself on the back for my quick thinking.

 

[Butterfly]

My INTP did that to me and saying yes to his (what was to me) premature proposal was one of the smartest things I've ever done in my life. I still pat myself on the back for my quick thinking.

Ohwww....sho shweeet!

 

[Clover]

Haha, I find myself in this situation now. When the people I meet learn I am not going to be an easy fuck, they shove me into the friends category. That's college for you.

 

[darkmoon]

Haha, I find myself in this situation now. When the people I meet learn I am not going to be an easy fuck, they shove me into the friends category. That's college for you.

Could that be part of the problem? Not being an easy fuck sending an "only interested in being friends" message (even if unintentionally?). Being 'hard to get' in general could be it.

 

[Clover]

Could that be part of the problem? Not being an easy fuck sending an "only interested in being friends" message (even if unintentionally?). Being 'hard to get' in general could be it.

Possibly, but even when I do throw out some vibes of interest, after people get to know me they don't really bother putting time or effort into pursuing anything romantic with me. I have only encountered people who are all sex, sex, sex & there is always something else with two legs walking across campus that is easier & quicker to catch. I cannot really say I am unhappy with my position though, I am quite pleased to be able to make friends without having to worry about them trying anything funny. But who knows when that could change, I don't want to shove myself into a dark corner and not be able to get out again, haha.