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  1. #191
    Senior Member chachamaru's Avatar
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    I didn't read all the posts in this thread (a few pages in the front and back) and I want to hug you!

    I also think you should read Tucker Max's books/escapades. Be cautious to not become one of those women. And men are supposed to be confused about you, not the other way around.
    a cat is fine too

  2. #192
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    im not sure if i should laugh at you or cry for you for being so easy. seriously..

    get some distance, tell him that he can come to you IF and only if he will forget other girls, gets past his problems with his ex and ready to start a real relationship with you. start to look for other guys, but dont tell it to him, its not any of his business since he doesent want a real relationship with you anyways at the moment. and DO NOT have any hopes with him, or at least try not to.
    it looks that he either is no good, or just has some issues he needs to get over. if he is no good, you dont need to see him now or ever. if he just has issues, you dont need to see him now or maybe in many years.
    also tell him that he will only have one more chance.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

    Read

  3. #193
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    Quote Originally Posted by agentfurrina View Post
    as a point of clarification, it wasn't intended as a romantic weekend with any forward-looking purpose. it was a "kiss our dating life goodbye as we enter into the next stage of our non-dating relationship, whatever that may be."

    the question is, why would i have put myself through that to begin with. why would he? a romantic cabin in the woods. then wine tasting at several wineries after we checked out. i guess we're both unrealistic. unable to have the whole picture with anyone else so we're cobbling together a Frankenrelationship with various people.

    i'll be honest. and likely exasperate you all. i got a text from a man just as we arrived at the cabin. i briefly replied, agreeing to see him again. the difference is minor, but important: i wasn't initiating contact with him or engaging in some dialogue over the weekend. just replying, realizing that cabin boy isn't going to be the one i'd be dating after the weekend.

    perhaps me and the INTx are more alike than i'd like to admit. who knows. i think he plays the game better than i do, in any case. i just don't have the patience for it.

    so for now, good people, i am pulling away. entirely, if i can swing it. he thinks we're just taking a month away from each other, but i'm thinkin no. i need more time and i want something entirely different. so i'm withdrawing from his life. i like the idea and it absolutely has to do with self respect. also, it's entirely unfair to the men who do ask me out and seem to be ready, to be chumming the waters with my bleeding heart over this guy.
    But you guys aren't alike. You're just trying to "play the game" since you have feelings for a guy who not only won't commit, but flaunts other women openly and disrespectfully in your face. It would be totally different if you had no feelings for him - that's something else entirely, an arrangement, a fuck buddy whatever...but since you do care, you're just leaving yourself to be hurt.

    It's the fact that you're allowing the open disrespect that astounds me. It's like dude, if you're gonna date other women, at least be with me when you're with me, and don't try to make me feel completely insignificant.

    I'm not saying you couldn't forgive him if later on he *really* changed and grew out of it...thing is, he's not lying to you. He's telling you straight up, and you're still trying to actively change him. That's not gonna happen for various reasons, but one important reason is that he doesn't even have to respect you.

  4. #194
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    It is time now to point out that this guy is just a guy. There isn't anything special about him, and he isn't doing all this for any unusual reason. He's just being basically the same as everyone else.

    Everyone who gives you some impressive explanation for this guy is helping you to not decide. Even the negative "reviews" are compelling because even they give you the impression of a handle, some tool by which to understand this guy. Each new understanding offers a set of new possibilities, and that means new directions you have to try and see play out. So it's time to stop explaining. Time to start deciding.

    He's just a guy. He gets free sex with invisible strings attached. With every decision you don't make, a string gets tied at random.
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

    Boy meets Grr

  5. #195
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    im not sure if i should laugh at you or cry for you for being so easy. seriously..

    get some distance, tell him that he can come to you IF and only if he will forget other girls, gets past his problems with his ex and ready to start a real relationship with you. start to look for other guys, but dont tell it to him, its not any of his business since he doesent want a real relationship with you anyways at the moment. and DO NOT have any hopes with him, or at least try not to.
    it looks that he either is no good, or just has some issues he needs to get over. if he is no good, you dont need to see him now or ever. if he just has issues, you dont need to see him now or maybe in many years.
    also tell him that he will only have one more chance.
    Yep.
    Something Witty

  6. #196
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    He's just a guy. He gets free sex with invisible strings attached. With every decision you don't make, a string gets tied at random.
    +1 and you know us introverts, indecisive to the last unless we have clear direction.

  7. #197
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
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    yes to the last 3 posts.

    and: my decision is to disappear. wish me luck...and, thanks to all of you. esp. those who gave me the occasional caning.
    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great


    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦

    Johari.

  8. #198
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Smart cookie.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  9. #199
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    The more I read about him, the more I agree that he's not playing you. He doesn't need to, in order to get everything he wants. You're playing yourself. And even with the choice to disappear, it's another play. Isn't it time to be authentic with yourself and everyone else?

  10. #200
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    The more I read about him, the more I agree that he's not playing you. He doesn't need to, in order to get everything he wants. You're playing yourself. And even with the choice to disappear, it's another play. Isn't it time to be authentic with yourself and everyone else?
    and you are throwing down a gauntlet? i'd emoticon but i'm on an emoticon diet.

    so please. continue. i'm listening...
    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great


    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦

    Johari.

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