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Thread: INTP Girl IRL

  1. #41
    Superwoman Red Herring's Avatar
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    http://typeandculture.org/Pages/C_pa.../9Barger_K.pdf

    It was suggested to me that I post this here as reference material on the common experiences of female INTP. Ladies, do you identify with this?

    Fuzzcrossed, you can consider it research material.
    The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. Neither love without knowledge, nor knowledge without love can produce a good life. - Bertrand Russell
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  2. #42
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    ^ I understand it, but I won't say I identify with Thorne & Gough's descriptors. In my opinion, the adjectives describe an unhealthy person. (Just because a person has a behavioral predisposition, doesn't mean they should behave that way.)

    I relate to what was commonly experienced during childhood and adolescence. I came alive in college. I also relate to most of what was said about time alone and independence. I've always been independent (even when I was a little kid). I've always been mostly a loner too, but deep down inside it's not what I want.

    I don't fully relate to the feeling function part of that study as far as recognizing feeling judgment. I know how I feel and I have no problem perceiving how others are feeling. I only have trouble in the area of expression and that's early on in a relationship. As a relationship progresses, I become more comfortable with verbal expression; although, I'm still not as verbally expressive as most people seem to be. I can articulate my emotions exceptionally well in writing.

  3. #43
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Well, I've made it through 2 pages of that nonsense. It sounds so far like, "Wah! INTP women are mean and don't flirt with me or laugh at my jokes or make me a sammich!" disguised as an academic essay. I would say IRL that more people would describe me from the "least likely" list. I do keep people at a distance, though.
    Something Witty

  4. #44
    Senior Member Neutralpov's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Well, I've made it through 2 pages of that nonsense. It sounds so far like, "Wah! INTP women are mean and don't flirt with me or laugh at my jokes or make me a sammich!" disguised as an academic essay. I would say IRL that more people would describe me from the "least likely" list. I do keep people at a distance, though.
    Explain that?

    I also think prying is in need of definition. The genuine getting-to-know someone part I love and with the INTPs I know/ was close to loved it. That is a human general thing I am thinking?? I might call it prying by what you wrote though, not my definition though. I love to know all about another person I sense chemistry/connection or the possibility of connection with (and I think they have good character). Clarification please

  5. #45
    sophiloist Kaizer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeatherC View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Well, I've made it through 2 pages of that nonsense. It sounds so far like, "Wah! INTP women are mean and don't flirt with me or laugh at my jokes or make me a sammich!" disguised as an academic essay. I would say IRL that more people would describe me from the "least likely" list. I do keep people at a distance, though.
    Explain that?

    I also think prying is in need of definition. The genuine getting-to-know someone part I love and with the INTPs I know/ was close to loved it. That is a human general thing I am thinking?? I might call it prying by what you wrote though, not my definition though. I love to know all about another person I sense chemistry/connection or the possibility of connection with (and I think they have good character). Clarification please
    If I may give input edgewise.
    values first and then everything else which in this case imo works better in one case and lesser so in the other combination.
    The INTPs you say loved it are likely to have had two things present in that situ... the trust and the commonality, and the lack of the intrusive kind of 'getting-to-know' as they defined intrusiveness/prying. I know that this seems a lil circular, but to see a shade of grey look at extremes and then go to the specific incident so that you can draw the general principle and the specific application of it. I'll clarify this with ENFJ males v/s females where more males go the ESFJ way, but generally, more so than not, the females don't. The particular ESFJ way of interaction I'm referring to, is highly intrusive and pries with lil awareness from a more wholesome perspective or the IN perspective, except for a traditional one or one that springs from the the-way-things-are-done outlook. To go to the extreme of this particular manner of interaction/this outlook, consider values based in crass and almost unabashed selfishness, self-centered-ness and a user-like predisposition/drive. It is there that this prying is likely to be visible in its extreme and bare form.
    on the one hand traditional idiom says that 'familiarity breeds contempt'; whereas the 'other' outlook might see familiarity as enriching and movement/organic growth towards wholesomeness.
    fwiw
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  6. #46
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    I read some of the article. Of course the responses are going to be such... If it is true that 60-65% of American women lean towards Fe and they were selected the negativity is envitable, but what they fail to realize is that the only reason why it's negative is because their Fe is going on what they believe society as a whole may be and if it changed towards a more Ti nature, then the dom/aux Fe may begin to lean that way too thus changing the results. Or am I completely missing the point of the article?

  7. #47
    Superwoman Red Herring's Avatar
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    The way I read it the point of the article was that female INTPs in different cultures share a lot of common experiences. The first few pages were the weakest part and supposed to introduce the problems some of them face by showing the negative perception of their frequent deviation from gender roles. The idea was to show that in cultures that expect women to be ESFJ (the part where they are asked about the expectancies in their respective cultures), being the opposite of that can cause alienation, sort of a no-brainer.

    I was interested in hearing to which point you identified with the quotes from the women about their childhood experiences, life in college, relationship to family, friends, colleagues and men, etc.
    The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. Neither love without knowledge, nor knowledge without love can produce a good life. - Bertrand Russell
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  8. #48
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    Ah, I'm not a women so my ideas don't really count, but I suppose it seems rather obvious. Unless you were able to shut down Fe completely as a defense in which you might not relate, but with that I ask if the pressure actually disappears if you do shut down all connections to the outer world?

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I would say IRL that more people would describe me from the "least likely" list. I do keep people at a distance, though.
    ^ Yeah, me too. Funny what you said about being pried open. I feel like I'm being pried open when I'm given too much, too soon. Often followed by "how do you feel about me?" Sometimes followed by tears. By the time I respond, it's not enough to stop the projection of anger/fears upon me. This happens often enough that I'm looking for a preventative measure; even though I would prefer a more natural progression. Life is a journey, not a rush to the finish!

  10. #50
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Okay, just read the rest of it. The experiences were mostly relate-able, but it just kind of comfirms to me that no one has the same experience.

    I can relate to not liking gender expectations and deferring to men (even as a kid, I couldn't understand why so many women thought that things were better coming from a man), d and I always treated people from either gender equally, no matter their age. I respected my elders and teachers, and was kind of the teacher's pet type. I loooooooved learning, and it fed my self-esteem to be perceptive and have the right answers. About 8th grade, I realized I could make the other kids laugh with my comments, so I became sort of a respectful class clown type, so the teachers would understand I wasn't undermining their authority, but I could entertain myself and also exercise my wit. I hated school spirit, team sports, and most stuff teens were supposed to like. I wasn't popular, but no one actively disliked me. I was a beta chick, for sure. The only guys that liked me probably turned out to be gay. I think I intimidated the straight ones, and the gay ones liked that I had a strong personality (much stronger back then because I was trying on personas for size).

    My parents were mostly supportive of letting me be myself and pursue whatever interests I had. I do remember that my mother often called me critical and opinionated, though. I could never understand why opinionated was a bad thing. I think she felt like I swayed my sister's opinions--if I didn't like something or pronounced it stupid, so would she. I always just thought, hey, it's my opinion. Feel free to have your own. I'm not making you think a certain way.

    Dating has always been awkward for me, because I'm really not a typical girl. I have to find guys who don't need the overtly girly element, because that stuff makes me feel stupid, like I'm playing a role. I definitely need my own space, too. I never really wanted kids, never had a maternal instinct at all. But as I get older, I reaaaally think it wouldn't be a good idea to have kids. Most of my enjoyment in life comes from pursuing my own interests and improving my talents and skills. If I had to put all of that on hold and be totally focused on someone else, never having a moment to myself, never getting to relax and sleep late, and stuff, I think I'd be a seething ball of resentment.

    Heather, I'll come back and answer your question.
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