[MBTI General] INTJ going for a coffe with a ESFP girl tomorrow. tips?

[Thalassa]

She has to wash dead people at work? That's...yeah, that sucks.

Well, I do wish you all the best.

 

[Shimmy]

Add lack of appetite around her on that one.


So the question is.. why should i not allow myself for once to have some fun even if its only for the short term.

Well, that's what girls are for right? (and sometimes babies!)

I must say I enjoy reading this thread. Compared to all the drama dating threads usually posted around here, this one is lightharted and fun! Plus, it makes a nice contrast with the ESFP melancholia so typical in NT-ESFP dating threads.

I've given the thread 4 stars!

 

[BlackCat]

Be yourself. SFPs can tell when people are holding something back. Most of us are pretty open minded, don't worry about it lol.

 

[Rex]

She reads me like a book regarding how comfy i feel.

Shes like: What are you thinking/feeling?

Im like: what? (uuh dudidu.. can`t say that loud can i.. say something else.. what?) POF!

She: what? tell me?

Me: nothing, i really am.

 

[Shimmy]

She reads me like a book regarding how comfy i feel.

Shes like: What are you thinking/feeling?

In my experience, every woman, regardless of her type, does this!

It wouldn't be so bad if they'd just be happy with the usual answers: "Nothing", "Sex", "Who would win, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or the Power Rangers" or the good old "This afternoon I came up with a new Reason 4.0 patch, and I was thinking, if I put the low pass filter frequency down a bit on the first two oscillators in thor, and run the third oscillator only through the second filter instead of the first one as well I could pitch it up a bit higher and get a better frequency ranch."

 

[Rex]

In my experience, every woman, regardless of her type, does this!

ah ok. hehe. guess i have to get a list of standard answers then.

I scored ISTJ the two last times i took a test. Sunday and monday.
two different tests. It is only barrely tho.

Problem is that i don`t relate to the description one bit. and on the INTJ career chart things are more close to me. perhaps im just a observant N? how do i know whats making me tick over to the sensor score? im thinking its my desire to be loyal, dependable and hard working.
Im not really hard working tho. I just know it matters a lot.

I also don`t mind teamwork if the people that i work with are doing their job. When they do i love it. when they don`t i rather just do it myself.

Im usually quite good at observing sometimes too. i kinda just sees whats missing or something.
Im bad at structuring. too caotic. Allways finds a way to improve something after it is supposed to be done.
And i have to go back alot to patch things. i can be walking to something and then i remember that i forgot a detail.



At work now again.

 

[Shimmy]

Problem is that i don`t relate to the description one bit. and on the INTJ career chart things are more close to me. perhaps im just a observant N? how do i know whats making me tick over to the sensor score? im thinking its my desire to be loyal, dependable and hard working.
Im not really hard working tho. I just know it matters a lot.

I also don`t mind teamwork if the people that i work with are doing their job. When they do i love it. when they don`t i rather just do it myself.

Im usually quite good at observing sometimes too. i kinda just sees whats missing or something.
Im bad at structuring. too caotic. Allways finds a way to improve something after it is supposed to be done.
And i have to go back alot to patch things. i can be walking to something and then i remember that i forgot a detail.



At work now again.

You sound more like an INTP there.

 

[Lily flower]

You have the exact opposite letters, so you will probably be wildly attracted to each other at first, but have major communication issues as time goes on. Think now if you prefer to have a challenging relationship, with something new and different all the time, or a peaceful relationship. With this person, it will most likely be the first and not the second.

 

[Rex]

Shimmy: Why.

Meet her again yesterday. Did some chrismas shopping together. things make more sense now. Last time.. red day+hangover for both.

You have the exact opposite letters, so you will probably be wildly attracted to each other at first, but have major communication issues as time goes on. Think now if you prefer to have a challenging relationship, with something new and different all the time, or a peaceful relationship. With this person, it will most likely be the first and not the second.

It takes in average 2 hours before conversations loosens up. When it does whe have good conversations. OR its just high blood suger after the food
Does ESFPs get super sensitive or something when they are stressed or not in their comfort sone? she states that im stressing a lot in the beginning.

 

[Zarathustra]

she states that im stressing a lot in the beginning.

Does that mean you're stressing her out, or you're getting stressed out?

 

[Rex]

A mix i think. But i might seem more stressed than i am. I have a high intensity when im on a mission. you know.

Also i think she got stressed about me checking out all those action movies.

"thats a classic"
"thats a classic, have you seen it?"
"that one is crap"

When i picked up Pale rider with Clint Eastwood she looked at it turned and left instantly.
I find that strange, why could she not simply talk about something else.

Made me wonder if she got irritated because of her losing out to the dvds.

In a way im more interested in a wider area of things than her.
She stated a example by suddenly starting to talk about makeup.

"blablabla you see my point?"
"yea but go on, what you call that thing?"

 

[Thalassa]

That example you just gave? You're already starting to see the S/N divide.

 

[Rex]

hu?

Edit: Thats a typical S trait?

 

[Nicodemus]

"Boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina."

 

[Rex]

I find it so funny that on the way home, we were all high on sugar and the pressure was off and all that. Sitting in the passenger seat she started to pull up all the stuff she had bought and we were chatting away like on a high or something.

It was -10, heavy snow and dark, I am driving and she shows off all the underwear she bought and suddenly i realize that for a moment i were talking, looking at underwear and correcting a slide by feel on the same time.

haha!


have a nice Christmas people.

 

[Rex]

That example you just gave? You're already starting to see the S/N divide.

Come on! what you mean..


It bothers me that she shares some clearly classless pictures on facebook.

I mean.. on one of the pictures she is waving your tongue infront of some dudes zipper. half open with shirt sticking out. Whats the point of sharing that? What message does it give? has she tought about it?

Im not a classy guy at all, but a minimum of class? dignity? self worth? is something that you should have. (does that make sense?)

Im thinking of confronting her in a rather direct way. Im not into controlling people but.. seriusly.. I need to know what that is all about. If its a big issue im better of leaving early.

 

[Thalassa]

Come on! what you mean..

YOU SAID:

In a way im more interested in a wider area of things than her.
She stated a example by suddenly starting to talk about makeup.

I think this is bad. If you're already starting to notice you have a wider range of interests than she does and are bored by make-up talk, this is just a glimpse of the incredible mind-numbing boredom you will experience with this person later on when the newness of infatuation wears off.

 

[Rex]

I confronted her about feelings.

Not a success. shes too scared to move quickly and get hurt. while im in a desert looking for hugs and so on.
I even got physical signs of stress last weeks. I know this. And since i got no work but still is stuck at work i think about this all the time.

Guess im just a impatient emo or something.

 

[Spamtar]

I am driving and she shows off all the underwear she bought and suddenly i realize that for a moment i were talking, looking at underwear and correcting a slide by feel on the same time..

She metaphorically wanted you to crash the car and focus on her sexually. A good indicator unless you are determined to wait too long.

 

[Rex]

She metaphorically wanted you to crash the car and focus on her sexually. A good indicator unless you are determined to wait too long.

hehe. i wish..
Im too impatient.